My wife also has had a failed back surgery. Failed as in a simple fusion fell all apart inside her and she actually had a huge screw puncture her sciatic nerve. She has had a ton of surgeries since then. If there was one thing I could go back and change would be that first surgery. She had a tennis scholarship at a great university and now can hardly walk. Her life has changed so much and it hurts my heart so bad that there is nothing I can do for her. I will find myself out and about doing something with the kids and just get this huge depression come over me that she is disabled and can't do the activities that I do with our children.
Talk about being addicted to opiates, she has a morphine pump and takes oral medication. I don't think she will ever not take them, but can't imagine what would happen if she just stopped. I know that there is really no other option and it sucks. It's so hard watching someone you love in so much pain.
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I'm so sorry to hear that. That just breaks my heart. I think it's normal to get depressed about those things. You love her and want her to be able to enjoy everything she can with you and your children. I'm on the corporate healthcare side now but I used to be a RN (mainly in trauma ICU and CVICU) and my hubs is in the medical field too. It's gotten so ridiculous these days with narcotics. Everyone that takes them seem to be lumped together which is absolutely horrifying. Your wife needs them, yes she is dependent, yes she will most likely be on them for the rest of her life, but under the circumstances...that would be the least of my concerns. I've seen people go through withdrawals and it's terrible, but I don't think she will have to go through that.
The problem is that those that need them, like you wife are lumped into those that go to pain clinics to get their fix. They have corrupted the system and made it difficult for those that actually need them. Plus, it's talked about in such a negative way that those that need them are made to feel like addicted and that's not right.
My hubby is an Anesthesiologist and he has family members that try to prevent their loved ones from having narcotics during and after surgery. He mainly does major surgeries (heart transplants, open heart surgery, liver transplants, etc) and it's just not possible to do procedures like that without them. So, the hospital has to override their wishes or else they can't have the surgery.
I've also seen people that are terminally ill and have months to live, and their family members try to refuse to give them pain meds. It's unbelievable. So, they want to have them suffer in the last months of their life? Who cares if they become addicted? It's about comfort care at that point. I had to get out of the patient care end and to the corporate side because of things like this.
Sorry for the novel there. You're doing the right thing. I'm glad that she's as comfortable as she can be. My thoughts are with you.
