He went back to smoking

[Amraann]

I am really sorry to read this and understand your disappointment.

I can tell you from my own experience with my husband .. that if they don't take a proactive interest then it most likely will not work out.

Don't give up hope he may change his miind and give it another try. Jut don't push the issue.

 

[thetrucker]

We wish you -Good Luck- our thoughts and prayers are with you here on ECF..........

 

[Stinkytofus]

So the man I've lived with for over 5 years now, and who I've looked after and taken care of all that time, the man who went to vaping over smoking with me two years ago, has gone back to smoking. He doesn't even bother carrying his little shirt pocket vape with him anymore. I sat with him at a bar today, enduring the stink of his cigarettes and excuses.

All along over the last two years his vape had to adapt to him, not him to it. It had to slip easily into his shirt pocket, and be effortless. He would not bother to recharge his ego batteries, or maintain his atomizer, I had to do that for him. It was too much bother for him and he would not put anything of himself into vaping. I got him a pair of 650 mAh ego batteries and a Kanger mini Protank that he could put in his shirt pocket. He liked that, but would not do anything at all to maintain it, not even fill it with juice or change his coil. I had to do that for him.

I set up a mech and genny for him to use at home, doing all the maintenance on it for him, but when he'd go out he'd take his small shirt pocket vape with him, and the battery would run out and he didn't carry the spare, or the coil would go bad, or it would run out of juice, because he would just not bother with those things. I bought coils for him, provided all the juice he could want, did all his maintenance on his vape to no avail.

One day he asked me to go look in his car for something, and in the center console I found two packs of cigarettes. At that point I knew I was getting nowhere and there was nothing I could do. He'd been hiding his smoking from me for perhaps a year, or more. So I just told him to go ahead and smoke if that's what he wants to do. I can't stop him, and I'd prefer he didn't feel he has to hide it from me. Looking back on it all I'm thinking maybe he's someone I don't want in my life anymore.

looks like you need a new boyfriend lol

 

[Stinkytofus]

So the man I've lived with for over 5 years now, and who I've looked after and taken care of all that time, the man who went to vaping over smoking with me two years ago, has gone back to smoking. He doesn't even bother carrying his little shirt pocket vape with him anymore. I sat with him at a bar today, enduring the stink of his cigarettes and excuses.

All along over the last two years his vape had to adapt to him, not him to it. It had to slip easily into his shirt pocket, and be effortless. He would not bother to recharge his ego batteries, or maintain his atomizer, I had to do that for him. It was too much bother for him and he would not put anything of himself into vaping. I got him a pair of 650 mAh ego batteries and a Kanger mini Protank that he could put in his shirt pocket. He liked that, but would not do anything at all to maintain it, not even fill it with juice or change his coil. I had to do that for him.

I set up a mech and genny for him to use at home, doing all the maintenance on it for him, but when he'd go out he'd take his small shirt pocket vape with him, and the battery would run out and he didn't carry the spare, or the coil would go bad, or it would run out of juice, because he would just not bother with those things. I bought coils for him, provided all the juice he could want, did all his maintenance on his vape to no avail.

One day he asked me to go look in his car for something, and in the center console I found two packs of cigarettes. At that point I knew I was getting nowhere and there was nothing I could do. He'd been hiding his smoking from me for perhaps a year, or more. So I just told him to go ahead and smoke if that's what he wants to do. I can't stop him, and I'd prefer he didn't feel he has to hide it from me. Looking back on it all I'm thinking maybe he's someone I don't want in my life anymore.

my mom and gf urged me to quit smoking and thankfully ecigs came along, been smoke free since early 2015 and plan to quit vaping soon as well, all this vape isn't healthy either, my lungs and body deserves pure and clean air, nothing less

and dude is in his 20-30's... i think he can change his own diapers... seems like you're babysitting him... lolz

 

[Vaslovik]

But it almost sounds like you chose for him, rather than allowing him to choose something for himself.

Excuse me, but he was after me to get him that cigalike kit until I got it for him. He was quite enthusiastic about it for a while, and I didn't make that choice for him. His reason was the money spent on smoking. So please don't read things into our relationship that I've not stated. It almost sounds like you are looking to judge me.

 

[Stinkytofus]

So the man I've lived with for over 5 years now, and who I've looked after and taken care of all that time, the man who went to vaping over smoking with me two years ago, has gone back to smoking. He doesn't even bother carrying his little shirt pocket vape with him anymore. I sat with him at a bar today, enduring the stink of his cigarettes and excuses.

All along over the last two years his vape had to adapt to him, not him to it. It had to slip easily into his shirt pocket, and be effortless. He would not bother to recharge his ego batteries, or maintain his atomizer, I had to do that for him. It was too much bother for him and he would not put anything of himself into vaping. I got him a pair of 650 mAh ego batteries and a Kanger mini Protank that he could put in his shirt pocket. He liked that, but would not do anything at all to maintain it, not even fill it with juice or change his coil. I had to do that for him.

I set up a mech and genny for him to use at home, doing all the maintenance on it for him, but when he'd go out he'd take his small shirt pocket vape with him, and the battery would run out and he didn't carry the spare, or the coil would go bad, or it would run out of juice, because he would just not bother with those things. I bought coils for him, provided all the juice he could want, did all his maintenance on his vape to no avail.

One day he asked me to go look in his car for something, and in the center console I found two packs of cigarettes. At that point I knew I was getting nowhere and there was nothing I could do. He'd been hiding his smoking from me for perhaps a year, or more. So I just told him to go ahead and smoke if that's what he wants to do. I can't stop him, and I'd prefer he didn't feel he has to hide it from me. Looking back on it all I'm thinking maybe he's someone I don't want in my life anymore.

may i ask, what is his birthday ?

 

[Bunnykiller]

hmmm thats not good to hear... time to get a "divorce"... if thats his lifestyle ( letting you do all the work) and (he) not even trying to contribute to the common goals between the both of you is going to make for a long and bumpy ride later on. Ever consider looking for someone who actually cares... for more than just their self ? ( he sounds a bit selfish/self centered )

better yet, give him the boot and quit looking for someone... when you quit looking, thats when the good ones show up

 

[Opinionated]

Excuse me, but he was after me to get him that cigalike kit until I got it for him. He was quite enthusiastic about it for a while, and I didn't make that choice for him. His reason was the money spent on smoking. So please don't read things into our relationship that I've not stated. It almost sounds like you are looking to judge me.

I was not judging you. I was speaking to you as an adult - based upon things you stated. I read your words and responded to them.

The poster MurrayB gave you a breakdown of some of those words. They are very telling from an outside perspective. No need to be offended from what I said..

if you misspoke, then I responded incorrectly to you specifically, based on your incorrect wording of your situation- but I wont apologize for what I said, they are true in general terms to anyone in a relationship.

 

[Vaslovik]

IMO, if THIS isn't Already a deal breaker, icing it with dishonesty seals the deal. Someone who'll be dishonest with you about something like vaping won't hesitate to be dishonest with you about more serious issues.

Bruce in Ocala, Fl

You are certainly right about that Bruce. What bothers me most about it was that he was so adamant about me getting him his starter kit, and made such a show of using it and always having it with him. Then I find out he's hiding cigarettes in his car. How long that was going on I can only guess, and of course it calls into question other things in our relationship.

 

[Vaslovik]

Smokers smell like cigarettes so you were enduring his “stink” and excuses. It sounds like you have a problem with anti-smoker bigotry...

I think that's about all I want to hear from you, welcome to my ignore list Murray.

 

[Deryan3]

So sorry to hear of your situation Vaslovik, my best to you and your outcome.

 

[navigator2011]

Sounds like he resorted to "secret smoking" so as to avoid disappointing you. Problem is, for some people, the smokes can be powerfully addictive enough to overtake vaping. Your description of the situation makes it sound like he wanted to come clean without having to tell you, straight up. Given freedom, he will probably give vaping another try in the future.

 

[philoshop]

I'm truly sorry to hear this Vaslovik.Hope you can work it out.

 

[Stinkytofus]

i cant deal with lazy people... and it doesn't help them if you always cater to them, makes them even more entitled, i tell em... u got two hands... two feet... be useful... lol

 

[stillnotsmoking]

Been vaping nearly 4 years, tries to get my wife on board...she "tried" but never took to it. She still smokes, that's fine if that's what she wants. It is a free country after all and its her life/body.

Sent from my QTAQZ3 using Tapatalk

 

[Isabelle49]

Some have more willpower than others and those that fail tend to hide their failure from those most important to them.

 

[Racehorse]

I had to do that for him.

<snip>

I set up a mech and genny for him

<snip>

I bought coils for him, provided all the juice he could want, did all his maintenance on his vape

Obviously, you love this person.....seems to me the only thing you didn't do for him was vape FOR him. It is hard to not want to help somebody you love, to be of service to them, to be a loyal friend, etc.


I'm truly sorry for him, and sorry for you that your truly heroic efforts did not come to fruition. Maybe someday he will come to his senses.

May better days be ahead for each of you.

 

[jazdale]

Wow, there's a lot of Laura/Phil going on here.
Let him smoke. Vapes won't do it for him, even if you do the dirty work.
When he commits to a change, you'll be there.

 

[WillyZee]

stay strong Vaslovik ... you will be rewarded with betters days

 

[Rixsta]

It is very sad to read, maybe he kept it from you because he knew you would be disappointed or he was ashamed of smoking again. I'm not sticking up for him but sometimes these things happen, vaping works well but not everyone has a smooth transition...and others just enjoying smoking more no matter what the health risks are. Everyone is different, he would probably feel what you felt when you found those cigarettes if he were to find out you had come on here and discussed this with the world. You are always going to get a lot of opinions with this type of thread, it's a very sensitive subject and none of us know anything about your relationship and we do not mean to offend you. I really do feel for both of you and I hope you can sit down and just lay it all out how you feel, smoking is highly addictive as you know, I smoked for 25 years and it has been a battle, you must care very much for him having gone to all that trouble to try and help him, you feel let down which is understandable but I would love a happy ending to this and good luck. Only you know what is best at the end of the day.