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Help How to Handle 89 Year Old Neighbor's Attack on E Cigarettes

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Stucco Jedi

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That's ok my wife is 37 and like that. I always bug her that she sounds old and only 3 years till she is 40. She just replies F off jay. Anyways to my point, if ppl put as much effort into ( insert what ever here) self as they did worrying about what other ppl did they would be much happier. I don't care what other ppl do as long as it does not affect me, and 95% of the time that is true. Just my 2 cents worth, just try to laugh it off.


Happy vaping
 
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martinc

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O f course,offering solutions is very easy...but living it is a whole other ball game.

Been there,done that.

Had people make my life so miserable,neighbors were calling the police for me :laugh:

They once asked me 'why dont you just move" (the police) because they actually seen what they were capable of.

Thing is,they just met a guy that was more hard-headed then them and that ...... them off to no end...some people simply like to give strangers orders and just dont expect a "no" in return.

Wierdos.
 

Rttch

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My two favourite pieces of advice thus far is to turn the conversation onto her, or just nod in agreement to let her have her piece. Other than that, take up knitting or something similar to what she does and make her your mentor :evil: Or, even tell her that your considering taking up a hobby that you know she has (besides not minding her own business) and ask her advice about what you should consider before picking up the hobby.
 

vsummer1

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I am a little bit confused. How can they tell someone not to smoke, vacuum, etc. IN their OWN apartment? None of the apartments I have ever lived in have those kinds of rules. Lived in Washington, Arizona and California so maybe that is why?

As for your neighbor, I am so sorry to hear your frustration. I have no advice to offer you, as you seem to be a much nicer person than I would be in that situation. I guess your only choices are 1) move or 2) outlive her and I am sure that is not what you want to hear!
 

Racehorse

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When in a quandry, about what to do or how to handle any situation, I've come to the conclusion that kindness is always the right recipe.

Lack of understanding is always at the root of people's fears, and I feel that it can only hurt our cause to be snotty, rude, etc. Best to educate others in a courteous way.

At 89, it's tough to tell if a person was always a PITA, or if they got the way with increasing age, a little bit of dementia, lonliness, and/or feeling of being useless and unwanted in our society. (The latter certainly seems to bear some thought though, given some of the age-ist responses in the topic. :) )

High-density living requires a great deal of considerate behavior. (For instance, while I agree that vacuuming at 2:00a.m. is somebody's right, there may also be a person below you who has to get up at 5:30 am. to go to work.)
 
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Vampirecat019

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You could rent a blown-in-insulation machine, (basically a reversed-vacuum with a large-diameter hose.) and fill her entire apartment with silly string... OR, you could just ignore her. I deal with a lot of elderly people at my job, and they literally have nothing to do but complain about things like:

-The shade of green of their grass compared to their neighbor's lawn.
-The fact that it rained the night before, and so our mowers leave "horrible looking tracks" on their grass.", but NO, you have to mow it RIGHT NOW.
-The dog doesn't like the loud equipment, try to be quieter!
- You left a single 1mm blade of grass in the flower bed edging stonework at the back corner of the 5 acre property!

Smile big, and nod repeatedly. :D;) And enjoy the fancy thumbtacks. Haha
 

Vampirecat019

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I will never live in another apt building. Seniors are unreasonable, most should not be allowed to contact the public, some should be put down...:evil:... i actually had a neighbor in the last apt i lived in call the police because i was VACUUMING at 2PM and the noise was bothering them.


LOL! That sucks!

PS- Off-Topic but can't resist...Ohmagerd Dark Tower!! Woo!! I am incidentally reading Song of Susannah right at this moment, and enjoying my clouds of vapor!

I cannot wait for the movie(s)!!
 

Mindfield

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"He strains to hear a whisper who refuses to hear a shout." -Robert Jordan

In essence, getting upset at them is only going to make them dig their heels in further. Now, I'll grant that many people, especially older people who are set in their ways and feel like they've earned the right to tell the rest of the world how to live, simply won't listen to reason no much how honey you cover it with. But If anything has a better chance of working, it's approaching them in a friendly manner and asking them if they'd be willing to learn the difference.

The problem is that the vast majority of ANTZ (anti-nicotine and tobacco zealots) think that nicotine is the real demon in cigarettes -- which isn't their fault as it has been bandied about for years in the media that nicotine is what makes people addicted to cigarettes and is therefore the only thing that's really talked about at any length. A gross oversimplification, but that's what the media is best at. It's important to tell them that they're correct in the sense that, yes, nicotine is harmful, but it's arguably more important to inform them that, of the thousands of other ingredients in cigarettes, it's also far more benign than most of them. Nicotine is a stimulant and a vasoconstrictor and it has addictive properties, so that's not particularly great. At the same time however, caffeine is very similar and shares the same properties, including its addictive properties. The difference is that most people don't consume nearly enough caffeine-laden beverages to become addicted to them. But if you demonize one, you must demonize the other for the same reasons.

People must be made to realize that E-cigarettes have stopped you from smoking regular cigarettes, and in so doing have also stopped you from polluting yourself and those around you with the thousands of other toxic chemicals in regular cigarettes, because E-cigarettes don't contain them. (Well, they do in tiny trace amounts, but that's not important and there's no point in giving them something negative but inconsequential to latch on to.)

Maybe -- maybe -- kindly trying to inform them might help matters. But if they refuse to listen to reason, there's really nothing you can do. For some people, their own beliefs in the world can be just as firmly entrenched as a highly religious person's faith, and there's no reasoning with that.
 

Racehorse

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2:30 PM.

Perhaps she was napping?

Wasnt' using the poster's example, was making up one of my own.

As for elderly people, the ones who were petty and shallow before just get more petty and shallow as they age. I personally do not know ANY elderly people who are busy-bodies, and believe it or not, I actually count 2 people who are over 80 as my "closest friends" right now. Both of them just got smarter and wiser with age, but they were already that way in their 50s. :)

I think this perception of elderly being a pain in the .... is just because those are the ones people *notice*.

The truth is, the elderly in this country are rendered somewhat invisible, (unfortunately) instead of revered for their long life on this earth.

Some of them may actually welcome a new hobby, so I say be kind and perhaps offer them a vape. :toast: New and interesting things coming into one's life as a senior are often far and few between for some of them, as they don't get out as much as they used to.
 

Not Iris

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I really do not like all of this negativity about the elderly. I volunteer at a Retirement Home for the aged and I have met the most wonderful people there. My mother was 85 when she passed away and she was the nicest, sweetest person that I have known but she was always nice and not negative. My grandmother was 100 when she passed away and she was and remained a calm, peaceful and a live and let live person.
We are who we are at a younger age and it magnifies as we get older. I have met some of the meanest, self centred, antagonistic, superficial and negative people in their 20's and chances are that will be amplified as they get older.
 

jespeak

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At 89 that is probably the only enjoyment she gets out of life. Just smile and nod and keep saying You're Right. That will send her up a wall.

Another come back is "Have a vaping day!" I have faced this type of criticism at my father's residence, and I do just smile, wave as I continue to vape quietly.
 
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