Well... here we go...
First things first... Bash fest rocked.
It rocked a lot... I was truly disappointed by the rift in the vaping community that caused there to be two essentially competing events, but both were very good, and VERY different feeling events.
It was awesome to meet so many of the zenfidels in person... Ripple and I could have hung out another six months and not been bored... Vicsan... every bit a beautiful has been reported... and fun too... Cigar Babe I knew already, and love her from the bottom of my heart. What can I say about Bumpi... he's AWESOME and he makes me smile... he has personality plus... and such a good heart... and the fetish cougar he landed... errr... that landed him... she was pretty easy on the eyes for a woman her age. She's no Vicsan or CB, but the kid done good, and I'm glad his decision to add a few life experiences to his belt instead of putting a deposit on a TI was able to deliver in the "experiences" department.
A bunch of patiently waiting Marchies got their PVs... some from this thread and some from other forums. I was surprised to see vendors that have long waiting lists selling product to the public and not delivering to their lists instead. I could have sold at least 50, possibly more PVs if I was willing to toss the Marchies under the buss. The closest I came to that was letting a Marchie that was going to drop from the list due to bad financial timing have the PV to resll to his friend... it was his choice to make... but even that feels a little creepy to me.
Before I get to the story about TSA, I was constantly in a state of being flattered by wonderful comments from present Zenesis owners, and future ones as well. For the first 36 hours I was in Chicago I had people patiently waiting to get to talk to me... Some were Zenfidels or future Zenfidels... others were just admirers. and I have to admit it is so incredibly awkward for me to have admirers. I hope to eventually be able to grow into the role... for now I reluctantly work with it... Vicsan waited patiently for hours to hang out and talk. We finally went to my room with ripple as a chaperone, of course to get some business attended to.
A lot of people have wondered about the Mergyphon outcome... She was so frustrated by the PV... I think I helped her to see eye to eye with the device. It is CLEAR to me that she REALLY wants to like it. She mentioned that she wants to review it, but didn't feel she could give it a fair shake until she better understood it. I find that to be admirable... I requested that win lose or draw, I want her to review the PV exactly as she has experienced it... pulling no punches. I feel that since she had problems from the start, she should make sure she mentions that. I only ask that she reviews the ENTIRE ownership experience, the good bad and the ugly. Fair is fair! And I really think that letting people know they MAY have a steep learning curve, as she and a few others have experienced, is really a good thing to report... why? Because it's the truth!
OK... so much for the news... now you get to hear the REST of the story. Names of the people in this story are intentionally withheld to protect the stupid.
Kcos, Bumi and myself darted out of the fest to catch the shuttle to Ohare... we were cutting things tight.
Upon arrival at the TSA checkpoint, my Briefcase and suitcase were pulled aside for further examination. It seems there were a lot of devices they had never seen in an xray screening before... I guess they didn't see Kcos and Bumpis when they went ahead of me... lol.
Anyway... things started out ok... standard checkpoint stuff...
Until they swabbed my breif case and it tested positive for explosive materials.
This happens a lot... people often have items that false test positive for explosives... and they see no explosives so people get pushed on through.
The only problem is... in my case it wasn't a false positive... it was a real life, honest to god, REAL positive.
The test showed a HIGH level of explosive contact... not some blip on the test... measurable content.
I suppose most people would completely freak out if that happened to them. But i did not. I calmly told them that there machine was not in error, and my briefcase had indeed come in direct contact with explosive materials.
I informed them that I was federally licensed to handle and transport explosives, and that there were none in my satchel. But there had been in the past.
This triggered a series of events that once started, could not be stopped. I was asked to show them my papers to that effect and I then instructed them that there was no requirement for me to have those papers in my possession unless I was actively transporting said substances. They informed me that I wasn't going anywhere until the papers or a facsimile thereof were produced.
I called Stacie and had her retrieve the paperwork from my safe, and text me a photo of them for transfer to the TSA. I figured once that had happened I would be free to go.
This is a good time to mention my plane was long gone, and there were no other flights out to Buffalo that night. I was not leaving Chicago on Sunday night.
So... back to our story...
SOP is an acronym for "Standard Operating Procedure"... and when the TSA detects a high level of explosive residue they have absolutely no choice but to follow the SOP to the letter. This is the law. And once the SOP has been started, there's no stopping it.
So... what does this mean?
As soon as the detection happens above a certain level, notifications go out to the TSA supervisors, Department of Homeland Security, the Local police AND their Bomb Squad... even if I am licensed.
There's reason for all this, and anybody that has watched a crime show involving a whack-job bomber can testify... when an explosion takes place the FIRST people they suspect are people that have access to bomb making supplies.... The mad bomber is ALWAYS a disgruntled blasting expert with access... I fit the profile, except for the disgruntled part... I have access. That makes me suspicious.
I hate to admit it... the TSA was doing their job, and for all the criticism you hear about them... they were doing it well... even following correct protocol.
I'm OK with this... i wished it wasn't happening... but it had to be done.
What I did not enjoy, nor do I feel it was appropriate to treat me this way... I was denied the option of sitting down. I was standing in the pat down area, and no chair was offered. When I asked for one, the request was ignored. People were being nice to me... to my face... but not letting me be seated... for many hours. Some of you know that I broke my back 15 years ago... and after all this time... standing in one place... the pain was becoming excruciating. I had gone hours without nicotine... My good mood and polite responses were becoming more and more agitated.
Chapter two: being pushed to a limit...
Many hours had passed and nicotine withdrawal is unpleasant. Standing in a small area without the ability to sit and take the pressure off is REALLY unpleasant...
The Bomb Squad determined there was no clear and present danger. In the opinion of the Bomb Technician. The Chicago police determined I was not a dangerous person, and I had been EXTREMELY cooperative. It was becoming clear to both the police and myself that TSA was no longer following procedure... this was going freestyle now. By all rights, I should have been free to go... and there was a lot of talk about the fact that theye were not sure who needed to sign off on this... the supervisor seemed afraid to sound the all clear, as though there would be dire circumstances if she was wrong.
It became clear that we needed the supervisors supervisor. Of course he would be available at 7AM.
While they wasted some time deciding what to do... the pain in my back was growing... it became unbearable and I had no chair... and no chair was coming...
I asked if I could have my PV... not a chance... I asked if I could have my pain killer meds which I ONLY take when the pain is unbearable... no dice... I don't wish to be over dramatic, but I was being tortured. A subtle torture... but still torture.
I very calmly suggested that I was suffering from nicotine withdrawal and they told me my PVs were not going to be released because they contained liquid that THEY could not determine the nature of. I was becoming more and more testy with them... but I had to memain cool... arguing with a TSA agent is a federal crime... then it hit me... that's what they were doing... if they could push me to the point of arguing with them, They would have me arrested and the decision was forced by me... I could not let them win...
they finally agreed to let me be escorted outside the building with a police officer, but I ONLY be allowed to smoke... NO PV was going to be released to me.
I took the nicotine any way I could get it. I'm OK with that, by the way.
But when I was outside, I shared with the police officer that I feel I was being tortured... and to my amazement, he agreed. He also agreed that they were just waiting until I argued with them, so they could be rid of me the easiest possible way.
When we returned to the terminal, the police officer got me a chair...
once I was seated and the nicotine was once again coursing through me... the TSA lost that battle. I was not going to snap.
Shortly after that, they offered me a proposal... If i would agree to letting them seize my stuff, they would get it to the TSA Bomb Verification supervisor and if he deemed it safe, I could heve the stuff back... bit only IF I agreed to ship the briefcase and its contents home via Fedex or UPS.
I agreed and that portion of the story is over.
I returned to the hotel where people were waiting to assist me... PVs and juice and batteries were made available by the other vapers... I shared the story, checked back in to the hotel, and got a little restless rest.
This morning the TSA bomb guy gave me the all clear to gt my stuff back. I packed everything and shipped it home.
I was on the next flight home.
Some words for the wise, and a few thoughts....
When something like this happens, it is important to keep a level head... The BIGGEST tool they have to beat you with is YOURSELF! If I had lost sight of that, I would have been arrested for a FEDERAL crime. This is serious stuff.
The other thought is less selfish... When we get stopped by the TSA... we have to remember that WE become something bigger than ourselves... we need to ALWAYS be good ambassadors of the vaping community. Everything we do will effect the experiences of the next vaper to go through that line.
And these experiences can be really unpleasant... the hardest part of the ordeal was that they remained as calm as I did, and they they were careful not to be obvious in the ways they were trying to effect my mood and willingness to cooperate.
By the way... when you tell the TSA that you have some DoD privileges, they remind you that they are NOT the DoD.
I'm home, safe and sound. A little shaken, but I'm OK.
) but this is my vid...how I do mine. (which vic just explained 
