How do people react to your illness?

[Mary Kay]

Mine, Diabetes is pretty easy, most people know what it is..sort of.
I get:

"Did you eat a lot of sugar as a kid"

Isn't that really called "sugar diabetes".

I had a nurse, for pete's sake, ask me what illnesses I had and I told her Diabetes, she said "do you take insulin?" I replied no and she said "well then you don't have diabetes, now do you!"8-o

I have been told it's my fault for eating sugar and drinking. What they thought drinking had to do with it I will never know. maybe they had it confused with my liver. (which is just fine, thank you..lol)

One Korean Dr, told me to eat fish, soup and to drink water, Lose weight. That was when my blood sugar was at 800. No meds.

So what kind of stupidity do you have to deal with?

 

[bigeyes]

'You don't look sick.'

'I think you're faking. You just want to be sick.'

 

[Christina]

MaryKay,

My husband has diabetes as well. He has to participate in a lot of working lunch meetings. More often then not they'll bring in pizza. He manages to scrape off the cheese and call it a lunch until he can grab a salad if anything later. Then, how many carbs in the dressing? How much sugar? He ordered a burger the other night and the server was miffed that he wouldn't eat the roll. Many meals eating out servers will give him a hard time for being the only one to skip desert. We keep it light hearted but I know it hurts.

Was your blood sugar at 800 while eating Dr. Korean's diet or prior to it?

I've got GAD (General Anxiety Disorder) but I'm too scared to talk about it right now. (kidding) I've got a few stories to add, just need to give it some more thought.

I like your idea for this thread and will enjoy keeping an eye on it.

 

[Walrus]

Usually unwanted sympathy, which is why I hardly ever tell anyone... Most of my friends know about my spinal issues (it's hard to miss, since I walk around like an old man most of the time). Very few know about the hemochromatosis. Strange as it may sound... with all the stuff I have going on, I don't consider my diabetes to be one of my more serious issues. It impacts me the least. Maybe only a few know about my depression and anxiety issues. I can fake happiness and joviality pretty good.

 

[Christina]

'You don't look sick.'

'I think you're faking. You just want to be sick.'

That's so true bigeyes. I try to keep my anxiety hidden. A catch 22 for me I suppose.

 

[Kimpetuous]

You have hit a nerve MK!

A few years ago I was diagnosed with Crohn's disease (misdiagnosis BTW ), and everytime I told someone ( I worked in a salon) about it, they would tell me the worst story they had ever heard about Crohn's, usually ending in death. I stopped telling after about a week.

And the worst was when I had my daughter. She was a micro preemie, born 14 weeks early. Besides the fact that it was the single most traumatic event of my life, people felt the need to say the most insensitive things possible. Starting with the doctor who said to me as I was standing at her incubator crying because she had a severe infection from her PIC line (she was a week old and well under 3lbs) "is this your first baby?" Implying that I was overreacting and I said "no, but I'd like to keep this one too." She was in the hospital for 87 days and is now 3 y.o. and the perfect picture of health Oh yeah, then there was the girl at work who said, "at least with having her early, you didn't get so fat." 8-o

I know that people mean well, but really that excuse wears thin with me. People should know better.

A couple things I have learned in my 40 years

1. NEVER EVER ask someone if they are pregnant unless you absolultely know for sure that they are.

2. When people experience a tragedy or a trauma that you have not experienced yourself, its best to just express your support and not try to guess what they are going through and add your own commentary.

Wow...obviously I am not over some of this stuff....

 

[Kimpetuous]

and don't even get me started with Anxiety. My sister has Generalized Anxiety Disorder too, and the ignorance surrounding that is unreal. I truly feel for people with these types of condtions.

You know how it goes, she just needs to pull her self up by her bootstraps. She is just not trying hard enough. She needs to stop wallowing.

People are clueless. My sister is a smart, beautiful, funny girl and she has suffered much.

Here try this pill, oh that makes you more anxious?? then try this one.....

I guess I got started anyway.

 

[mamu]

When I told my brothers and sisters about my son being diagnosed with paranoid schizophrenia, one of my brothers said "oh, he's just pulling your leg, he can act normal if he wants to."

 

[Mary Kay]

Christina, I was at 700 Blood reading before Dr. Dimwit, 800 with him and 1000 by the time I left!
He called my new Dr. and told her I refused to follow orders. From what the nurse told me, my Dr. told him he needs to be investigated.
Sorry about your husband, it must be very hard on him.

Bigeyes, You don't look sick..just limp a lot and the boneheads will lay off!

Unwanted sympathy, Walrus? Who ever wants to be in a position that sympathy is needed! But sometimes that's all people have to give.

Kimpetuous, I heard that! I love all the diabetic stories about "my mom lost her legs", "My uncle can't see"..so cheery and uplifting! NOT
I would just like to kick people sometimes.

 

[Kate51]

This is maybe beside the points, here, but I have a stepdaughter I used to try to get her to laugh about things more, because I suspect she loves to play on our Grandaughter's shunt...Amy is now 20 1/2, but we nearly lost her many times in her younger years, she had replacement shunts (before birth on she was diagnosed with encephaly) 13 times before they did an expansion surgery...her cranium was too small to allow her ventricles room to open with fluid. From then on she's been A-1!
But our daughter constantly refering to and almost bragging about Amys' problems still. So when you say, walrus, that unwanted sympathy bothers you, that makes much more sense to me than to absolutely be looking for sympathy all the time. Seems more natural. You are dealing with things much worse, hate to say this, but our Amy is totally normal with the shunt! Not abnormal because of it. Amy's gotten away with a lot of misbehavin' because of her Mom's strange behavior. I now say nothing, had to let it go. I'd like to introduce all of you guys to Kathy!

 

[Walrus]

Unwanted sympathy, Walrus? Who ever wants to be in a position that sympathy is needed! But sometimes that's all people have to give.

I have all day, every day to think about my situation and how much it sucks. When I'm with friends I want to escape it... the last thing I want is to keep rehashing it over and over again. I know people mean well, but if they really want to help, they'll let the elephant out of the room... or better yet, not bring it in in the first place. I know they want the best for me. That goes unspoken... and the best for me most of the time is to not bring it up.

It also has a lot to do with relatability. The few people I am comfortable discussing it with are dealing with their own issues. We understand each other, and support each other.

I guess I have issues... but I think the shallowest words in the English language are "I'm sorry" unless the speaker themselves did something wrong. Don't be sorry, you didn't do it. I spend a lot of time trying not to feel sorry for myself. I don't want others to either.

 

[lordmage]

I spend a lot of time trying not to feel sorry for myself. I don't want others to either.

Testify brother amen when did you get mod status and where besides your social side mod stuff cratz to that if anyone has the time it is you.

 

[dawnlori]

I tell very few people about my HepC. There are many preconceived notions about it and if you are uninformed than I don't wanna talk to you about it. That statement is not directed at you guys in anyway, thats is how I feel about the general public. I have only lived in this small town for about a yr and there is no way I would tell anyone, it's very clickish here and I don't need to explain it to abunch of snobs. Even the PA I saw here for an ear infection asked me 'how did you get it?'. That just pisses me off especially from a med. professional. What the hell difference does it make how I got it! I'm here for my F^&* ear. Sorry, I don't mean to get off on a rant LOL. I actually had a girl come over to my house while I was on treatment (which is brutal by the way) and start carrying on to me about how she was dating a guy that I had dated 5yrs previous and she was afraid that she was gonna die cause he might have gotten something from me blah blah blah. Needless to say, sick or not I had to throw her ... out the door. Sometimes I do need to talk about it and thats why I joined you guys. Thanks for letting me vent. dawn

 

[tescela]

2. When people experience a tragedy or a trauma that you have not experienced yourself, its best to just express your support and not try to guess what they are going through and add your own commentary.

I *so* wish more people understood this.

 

[tescela]

When I told my brothers and sisters about my son being diagnosed with paranoid schizophrenia, one of my brothers said "oh, he's just pulling your leg, he can act normal if he wants to."

Wow...some people really are too stupid to live.

 

[Christina]

Wow...some people really are too stupid to live.

LOL! I've often said that about human breeding.

 

[Mary Kay]

Walrus,
with all you are going through, diabetes has to be at the bottom of your "to worry about" list! LOL I think I should be grateful it's at my top.
Mamu, My G'ma had paranoid Schizophenia, in a long line of the mentaly challenged in her family. She also had 2 personalitys. That was a trip! One day she was a Church going lady with gray hair and dowdy clothes. The next she was a red wigged, hard drinking and smoking mama. This continued until she was in her late 60's. My Mother and Sister both had some problems, possible Bi-Polar but if my sister hadn't died young, I think it would have become much more serious. Both G'ma and Mom had/have Alziemer's.
The hard part about all this was I had to deal with G'ma when she was in a "spell" and my Sister as my Mom couldn't. I did that (and still take care of Mom) from the age of 13. You haven't lived until you try to bail your G'ma out of jail when you can't even drive yet!
I feel for the caregivers almost as much as I do the ones with the disorder because they are so misunderstood and dismissed. G'ma always claimed she didn't remember what had happened when she was the "other". But I know she did and it hurt.
And if you are wondering, I was adopted so I am not next in line for those disorders..I bring my own!

 

[TDM]

When my aunt called all upset that she had to have a hysterectomy she was all upset. I talked with her for over an hour letting her get it all out. I could tell she was really upset.

I finally figured she needed a pick-me-up so I tried to make her laugh. I told her there was a bright side to it........... She didn't have to worry about ever getting pregnant! She laughed for the next 15 minutes. She even went to her doctors appt the next day and asked the doctor if she could get pregnant! He just about fell out of his seat!!

Did I mention she was 73 at the time!

Sometimes laughter is a good medicine

 

[Kate51]

When my aunt called all upset that she had to have a hysterectomy she was all upset. I talked with her for over an hour letting her get it all out. I could tell she was really upset.

I finally figured she needed a pick-me-up so I tried to make her laugh. I told her there was a bright side to it........... She didn't have to worry about ever getting pregnant! She laughed for the next 15 minutes. She even went to her doctors appt the next day and asked the doctor if she could get pregnant! He just about fell out of his seat!!

Did I mention she was 73 at the time!

Sometimes laughter is a good medicine

When they told me I had to have one, I would have stood up and cheered if I could have!!!! I was pretty sick kitty, had to do a bowel resection too, had a blowout from a huge cyst on the backside of the uterus. Almost died. But I wasn't 73, either, maybe wouldn't have been so happy either. But your theory works, doesn't it. Go in there with a poochy sad face and it makes everything worse. grave even. My husbands' sister were that way with his mother, by the time we left she was laughing about something every time...I think it actually made sisters MAD. They were awful. Rubbing her arm, Geez, if my kids did that I'd haul off and smack em good.

 

[Mary Kay]

I love it Mouse! That was the perfect thing to say to make her laugh.
It was even better to for her to make the Dr. lose it. I bet that made her day!