I get so mad at people who just want me to do it "their way"

Status
Not open for further replies.

tA71ana

Ultra Member
ECF Veteran
Verified Member
May 26, 2012
1,243
2,530
Round N Round the Mulberry Bush
1.take a long shower and see if you can remove the smell of her righteous indignation.
2. get a dog- great company and they never judge.

+1
Cats are awesome too ^_^
I have had many over the last 30 years and they never let me down.
Lawd knows they have kept my blood pressure within normal ranges, lol
 

BernieVideo

Ultra Member
ECF Veteran
Verified Member
Aug 7, 2013
1,097
1,201
NoHo El Lay CA
I for one KNOW I am an addict.
I went to a 12 step program to help recover from it (14+ years without any booze or drugs), but the one thing I couldn't kick was cigarettes.
3 weeks ago I decided to try.
I have an addictive personality. So of course I vape like an addict too.

Everyone in my life has been very supportive. (my wife does tease me that I suck this thing like a pacifier, but she is ecstatic that I quit analogs)

As for your friend being non-supportive, I can't say much more than people here already have.

For me, I only want people around me that enrich my life. I have enough stress in my life, that I don't need someone I call a friend increasing my stress.

You may want to ask yourself, is her non-support of your vaping worth putting up with compared with what you may lose if she is no longer in your life. Simple, brutal, healthy, math.

Good luck.



 

SASmith

Super Member
ECF Veteran
Mar 31, 2013
801
647
Abbotsford, B.C. Canada
FRIEND:

1. a person attached to another by feelings of affection or personal regard.
2. a person who gives assistance; patron; supporter: friends of the Boston Symphony.
3. a person who is on good terms with another; a person who is not hostile: Who goes there? Friend or foe?

I don't think your friend is living up to the criteria, I really feel sorry for these types of people as they do not know... nor will ever know the true meaning of being a friend or having a friend. I have had several people like this in my life from time to time, I think we all have and they are usually the ones that take the hardest fall when life hits them with an unexpected event. I had one of these toxic friends once, who had a heart attack, she took it very badly and needed anti-depressants as she could not wrap her mind around the fact that she had done everything right, diet exercise etc and still had a heart attack. She even told me once that it should have been me.....as I was the "smoker". I wish you the best ...I'm sure you deserve it. :)
 

Eranda13

Senior Member
ECF Veteran
May 9, 2013
231
455
Bethlehem, PA
You know... I've felt myself wanting to distance from her for a while now. We carpool to work a lot, and I've found myself not looking forward to it anymore.

Maybe I should just listen to myself and avoid it for the time being, and see if I feel differently in a couple months.

I just don't need another mother, ya know???

PS- do you think she'd be ...... if I asked her if she knows her husband is gay?? LOL

Also, just wanted to thank everyone for their support. I just get so tired of being judged by people sometimes. I don't drink or do drugs, I work hard and earn my own living, own my own home, I'm not doing anything that hurts anyone else. So leave me alone!
 
Last edited:

patkin

Vaping Master
ECF Veteran
Nov 6, 2012
3,774
4,141
Arizona USA
Next time she offers unsolicited advice, stop her and tell her its time you gave HER some advice. Tell her unsolicited advice is not the way to "win friends and influence people" (truly, its in the book) and then tell her she would be more comfortable in the company of some new friends she should take the time to find.... ones who enjoy being self-righteous or fellow anti-smoking zealots... better fit.
 

ScottP

Vaping Master
ECF Veteran
Verified Member
Apr 9, 2013
6,393
18,809
Houston, TX
PS- do you think she'd be ...... if I asked her if she knows her husband is gay?? LOL

If you are going to do that, you should preface it with the question: "Can you answer a simple yes or no question?"
Then when she says "yes", ask her: "Do you realize that your husband is gay?". If she responds with any sort of protest, then you can make fun of her for not being able to answer a simple yes or no question.

Mean? Yes. Does she deserve it? You decide.
 

Penn

Ultra Member
ECF Veteran
May 19, 2013
1,367
1,435
In the wilderness
You're feeding her need to control someone by the mere fact you still call her a "friend." Sounds like a very dysfunctional friendship.

Ask yourself "why have I put up with her, and what am I going to do about it?" Sometimes it's better to enjoy your own company than to waste your time trying to fix a broken friendship.

As a comment to tell her next time (if there is a next time) is: "Well, you know ignorance is bliss. And, that goes for my vaping and a lot of other things in your life and mine."

I logged in just to hit like. Well said Rosa.
 

Chimney34

Ultra Member
ECF Veteran
Verified Member
Dec 1, 2012
2,977
35,218
Winston-Salem, North Carolina
That is not a friend. That person is merely using you to inflate her own ego. Jettison her.

Totally agree with this here! Congrats to you on quitting smoking & switching to vaping! And YES you DID QUIT smoking. Screw this so called friend & the white horse she rode in on. I'm pretty sure if you pulled up the shades her stuff is way more messed up than yours is. I hate people like this! You've made an awesome accomplishment & don't let anyone take that away from YOU!!! EVER!!
 

Orobas

Equine Disrespect
ECF Veteran
Verified Member
Jun 3, 2012
7,766
6,264
41
Jarhead City

djezewski

Vaping Master
ECF Veteran
Verified Member
May 31, 2013
3,515
1,861
67
Wayland, New York, United States
Here's my thoughts. It's is none of her business what you want to do and when you want to do. Does this woman wear makeup, ask her "if I were to think makeup is bad would you stop coloring your hair?(could be anything she likes, buying shoes, eating red meat, butter, bacon) I am sure there is a long list that when she starts just ask her..just make sure it is something she would never consider stop doing. See what she says.
 

Baditude

ECF Guru
ECF Veteran
Apr 8, 2012
30,394
73,076
71
Ridgeway, Ohio
Not much more to add that hasn't already been stated. :)

I was in a similar family situation as you. Asked to leave my own home and children because my wife felt like she was "drowning" in our relationship. Ok, I don't really want to be with someone who no longer loves me, so I left as I was asked to.

Within 2 weeks a male friend of hers who "needed a place to stay temporarily" moved in and ended up staying as her lover for a year until she got fed up and tired of him, too. Over the next couple of years, after my divorce was finalized, my visitations with my pre-school aged children was limited to one week night and every other weekend. Eventually she agreed to be more open about visitations and began to include me in decisions on how to raise our children. Because I had an open mind and had resolved any issues of anger and resentment on my end, we eventually learned to be friends again. My children were always aware of who had the more level head and could be counted on. I have a great relationship with my college age children today.

I've only had one relationship in the 13 years since my divorce. It was a good one, but she wanted children and I didn't want more. We parted ways amicably. I'm happy and content to be single. Nothing wrong with that at all. My ex has had several relationships and even remarried, and I hear that it is on the rocks from my children. Too much drama for me. I'm glad I chose the road that I did.

Congratuations on making the switch from smoking to vaping. You have chosen a far healthier lifestyle and deserve credit where credit is due. Don't allow the ignorant to upset you based upon your choices and decisions.

:toast:
 
Last edited:

Penn

Ultra Member
ECF Veteran
May 19, 2013
1,367
1,435
In the wilderness
You're amongst a whole new group of friends here, we don't pass judgement..........but here to support you. Congrats on trying something that's working for you and time to weed out what doesn't.......including so-called friends.....

Welcome! :)

That's right, we don't pass judgement on our fellow vaper. Just her so called friend. And antz. And Big Tobacco. And Big Pharmaceutical. But definitely not our fellow vapor.
 

SissySpike

Vaping Master
ECF Veteran
Verified Member
Apr 1, 2012
6,926
12,310
San Diego CA
That's right, we don't pass judgement on our fellow vaper. Just her so called friend. And antz. And Big Tobacco. And Big Pharmaceutical. But definitely not our fellow vapor.

well thats not entirely true and Ive seen you personally and I know I have in the heat of a discussion pass a little judgment ;-)but at the end of the day its mostly just Ideals and opinions clashing we are all exsmokers so none of us are better than the next. There are a lot of good people here. Hope to see the OP around for a long time to come!
 
Status
Not open for further replies.

Users who are viewing this thread