I messed up big time!

[Kimmy]

So...I've been taking a break from the forums for a few days. I feel the need to come clean with my fam. To make a long story short, I started smoking cigarettes again. A lot going on in my life right now, and I basically talked myself into buying a pack. I used the whole "nicotine doesn't get absorbed properly with ecigs" line and..."Smoking improves your cognitive function..." You need to concentrate with this semester's worth of work"...and "Nicotine contains MAOIs which are almost as effective as antidepressants!" Also, I was suffering from severe bad luck with my cartos. Lots burning out too quickly, juice all over me and leaking. I think my main downfall was going to refilling full time. I'm an instant gratification type of girl..and filling just obviously isn't my thing. It was all very frustrating. I was through two packs when I started to feel my dry cough coming back, lack of motivation in exercise, and a general smelly feeling.

Overall this was a learning experience I won't soon forget. The FSC are thoroughly annoying. Cigarettes are at roughly $7.50 a pack now. Even after only 2 days of smoking cigarettes, I experienced withdrawal from the other nasty chemicals I subjected myself to.

It seemed like everywhere I went there were people smoking. Everyone!

Take it from someone who has been around for awhile...don't believe all the hype on the forums saying "omg I smoked a cigarette and I hated it." I said the same thing in my early days and it was only due to a stale pack of cigarettes I had laying around. It's easy for any one of us to go to the local gas station and say the dreaded words, "Can I please have a pack of....".

Just thought I'd share my story. It does have a happy ending. I am back to vaping again full time for 2 days now. I gave my half used pack to a stranger, along with my lighters. I am going to keep it simple and just vape the prefilleds for awhile. Learn from my mistake and don't buy that first pack! BTW tried WOW caramel apple--fab--nice job boys.


Have to add this awesome anti smoking ad to an already ridiculously long post.

YouTube - Enjoy Your Freedom

 

[plantlvr]

It's all good Kimmy, glad you are back to vaping! I gave my last 4 packs of cigs away at my garage sale last week, almost a year old! Like we all say here all the time, every cig not smoked is a good thing!
Hope this time around it will be easier for you!

 

[thelook]

((((((Kimmy)))))) I am so sorry to hear that you have had so much stress lately.
Let me know if there is anything I can do for you, I would be glad to.
And please do not beat yourself up over this slip, it happens to the best of us.

 

[Vini]

.

You are beautiful young girl and smoking wouldn't make your life better.
You don't have decades of addiction and have a chance to live quality smoke-free life.

I live about 70 miles away - let me know if you need any help.

.

 

[GiMante]

I was wondering where you had been! I'm glad you came back. I hope your stress has eased up.

 

[Twilight]

I missed you too and wondered where you went....hoping you'll decide to keep vaping and pass on the analogs.

 

[bornagainst]

Ya didn't mess up Kimmy.....you are only human.

Just get back up on the horse, we're here for you.

 

[MXBNW]

Happy thoughts to you.........

 

[bpaulette]

"messed up big time" is robbing the convenience store to get the smokes. Or seeing a pack on the front seat of a car, and breaking the window to get them. What you did is just living, and making simple but difficult decisions - sometimes we may not like decisions we made, but we always learn something from them.

I had a weird moment a couple days ago when I was flirting with nic-fits, trying to keep my vaping at a bare minimum, and was sent to Walgreens to buy some crayons for my daughter. Thats it, just 20 minutes and 2 miles worth of driving for $0.79 worth of crayons because she'd lost hers at school. The sheer dumb-ness of the trip was a bit irritating. And the line was taking forEVER. I had ONE item, for chrissakes, can I just toss a bill at you and be on my way?!?! Standing there in a grumbly stupor, staring at the giant wall of strangely alluring cigarette packages... 2 of the 3 people in front of me buy smokes with their drugstore merchandise, and out of nowhere I was ready to do it. Little voices in my head started saying "maybe just a couple - just to tide you over!" But then I look down - I'm holding crayons - and I see my daughter's face - then flashed to the image I always played in my head when trying to quit, which was her crying by my coffin at my funeral. And the little voices shut the hell up. Now... if I'd been holding a bottle of tylenol, or, Idunno, stupid shampoo or something, who knows what I would've done... Addiction is freakin WEIRD man. Sorry to ramble

 

[willbeein2003]

I am sorry you have had such a rough time. I am glad that you are back to vaping. I know that if I had one analog I would be right back to smoking again. Luckily for me the few times I have been really tempted I was not near a store or anyone I could bum from.

 

[MachoKing]

I've been vaping for about three months and I still smoke an average of one cig a day. I know I can kick the daily cig out the door and be done with it but I just haven't. I consider myself a vaper now and not a smoker so I'm on the right track. I'll kick that daily cig out someday soon.

 

[JenJen]

I am sorry Kimmy, but glad you are back. And I don't really refill, I am really a "top it off" kind of girl. Every hour or so I give it a few drops and I am good to go. Easy Peasy!

I was one of those who had a few puffs of a cig and went Ewwwww... and it was a fresh pack bought because we were in Laughlin about 3 blocks from our hotel and I was gambling when my vk ran out of juice - and silly me, I didn't have a spare. Everyone is different I think. I was just lucky!

Welcome back!

 

[Gravity]

Glad to see you back. Stuff happens, you can't beat yourself up over it... be glad that you learned from your mistake relatively quickly, and didn't go back to the cigarettes for a year or more before deciding to come back to vaping!

And yeah, the Wow Caramel Apple is tasty treats.

 

[SnowDragon]

Sorry to hear about the stress, just glad you o.k. Wanted to thank you, been mixing a lot of Sour Green Apple lately after reading one of your threads. Hang in there babe, tomorrow's another day and it sucks that so many fun things in life are generally bad for you. Ask any of 40+ ers about the 80's, and you all know who you are and what I'm talking about!

 

[Mary Kay]

Kimmy! It's so nice to see your face! I am sorry for your stress..I hope things ease a bit. Don't be hard on youirself..life happens! At least you don't have to cook it dinner or wash it's clothes...wait that's me!

I don't dare touch cigarettes let alone smoke one, I know I will fall down the rabbit hole and not come back up! You are a better woman then I, Gunda Din (who knows what that is from..God I am old!)
Welcome back my friend!

 

[NewLou]

Glad you are back. I really respect that you shared with us about smoking. I have been feeling sort of vulnerable to the old addiction myself, and your story is a good reminder to me of how persistent the addiction is. I, too, know that I would not let a little unpleasantness (gross taste, bad smell, high cost) stop me from going right back to 1 1/2 to 2 packs a day.

The Alcoholics Anonymous Big Book says alcohol addiction is "cunning, baffling and powerful", and I think this phrase applied just as well to tobacco addiction. This phrase comes to me a lot when I start to have little whispers in my head about having "just one", or to try it just to see if it is still gross. Or whatever little rationalization my tobacco-addict mind can come up with.

I hope that you can quickly "detox" from your smoking, and enjoy being free again from the smoking. Thanks so much for sharing!

 

[TrashcanCandy]

Welcome back! I know I don't know you yet, since I'm pretty new around here, but good job getting back on track and good luck staying on it. I'm sending you a PM, btw.

 

[Kimmy]

I just want to thank everyone for your words of encouragement & PMs. I knew I would feel better if I came clean. You all are wonderful and I'm thankful to have such a great, supporting group I can talk to. It truly means a lot to me.

Much love to everyone!

 

[JustKryssi]

This is a process Kimmy and there is not only one way to do it. For some, the ups and downs are necessary to succeed long term. Learn from it all, get back on the horse (no, not Magilla from the other thread!), and get ready to ride again.

Hugs hon, and keep up the great work.

 

[Ddubya]

I agree that refilling cartos is a PITA. All I can say is bottom fed juice mod for most days. Regular batts/cartos for going out, saved me from going back to cigs.