I'm dying; so are you.

[Unperson]

I'm dying; so are you. If you read this as a term of immediacy, then I apologize for the shock-value opening. The title is designed to wake up those that take life for granted and reaffirm that we are just leasing space on earth; without the option to buy.

I've been a member of the ECF for a little while. I've made some posts; some serious, others not so much. A few minutes ago I was sitting at my computer and I drifted off into thought. I had just read something from a news site and was left.. ..unsettled. The subject I was pondering was the finite aspect of death. In recent years I have been forced to confront the fragility of life. Having come close to my own demise with two serious heart attacks (and two requisite surgeries), I've found myself drifting off into deep thought on many occasions with the subject matter revolving around the "Wow, it can really be over just like that!" concept.

When you're young, it is easy to disregard the concept of death. The state of youth engenders a feeling of immortality since the final curtain won't appear until much later in the show. As you get older, the curtain draws near. I realize that the subject of death is depressing. It's the ultimate buzz kill. No one wants to talk about it. No one wants to contemplate it. That's doesn't mean we should ignore it. Given the fact that death is the end of everything for an individual, we all must recognize the full weight of it.

For many, death is not an end insofar as it's a transition. I'm not going to argue for or against this ideology/theology because that's where most discussions on death derail. Let's stay on track and just settle for death being the end of your existence on earth in this form. Think about it. You are gone. No, really, gone! There is always the trauma/aftermath for loved ones. There's the matter of unsettled affairs. There's the impact of a life lived for the rest of the world to absorb. However, let's keep it personal.

I don't want this entire post to descend into a melancholic mire, so I'm going to make this last paragraph focus on the doom and gloom by asking you to simply pause for a few seconds. Sit back for a moment and imagine a tomorrow that you're not part of. No you.. ..ever again. Go ahead. I'll be here when you get back.

... {insert cheesy elevator muzak here} ...

Welcome back! Okay, enough with the rattling of chains and the faint knell off in the distance. Given the tentative nature of life, why would anyone with an intelligence level just this side of a gorilla start smoking? I can only speak for myself when I think back to when I first lit up. I was 12 years old, simultaneously precocious and puerile, and (as described above) immortal. I knew of health risks, but they didn't apply to me; well, not immediately. Which led to denial. I was only going to smoke until it no longer suited me. Yeah, right. Most of you know this song and dance. [Fast forward 33 years]

There's a long standing debate about the ills of smoking. How can you blame the tobacco industry when starting to smoke is a personal choice or (for younger individuals) a question of parental supervision. Once you're hooked on smoking, you start defending the practice and your right to do it. Isn't that peculiar in and of itself. You will outwardly defend something that even your inner voice is saying, "Yeah, but it really is killing you slowly.". That outer voice is addiction. The inner voice is self-preservation. The loudest voice is going to determine the outcome.

I've long believed that addiction is less about intelligence and more about psychological state of mind. An outsider can easily consider another person that smokes as having a hatful of hollow, but the only real time that intelligence plays into the habit of smoking is when it first starts and that is usually when an individual is too young to truly see the forest through the trees. Once the habit truly has its claws dug in, then it turns into a psychological arena.

Take a few moments to take a bird's eye view of the human race as a whole and it is easy to see that we are more mentally unstable than we've ever been. By that, I'm not referring to our evolution or our awareness of our environs. I'm talking about emotional and psychological stability. As the world becomes larger in scope, it becomes more complex and more difficult to cope with. Yes, ignorance truly is bliss. It doesn't help that pharmaceuticals have replaced the need to actually raise children responsibly or to force adults to try to fix mental issues rather than paint over them with a pill form whitewash.

Okay. If you've plodded with me thus far, then you may see the logic in the next point.

Recipe for starting smoking: 1 Youth or young adult with:

A. Intelligence blinded by faulty reasoning that quitting is easy later on.
B. Disregard for health risks since the damage is not immediate.
C. Illusion that smoking suggests an adult image or a more desirable persona.
​

Recipe for addiction: 1 Youth or young adult that continues smoking for several years.

Recipe for a death sentence: 1 Addicted smoker that:

A. Ignoring the voice telling them to quit because the addiction shouts louder.
B. Living a tumultuous life that forms a symbiotic dependency with bad habits such as eating and smoking.
C. Possesses mild to heavy apathy on even serious subjects such as life and death.
D. Inability to find a viable and safer alternative.
​

Bingo! We have a bingo! E-cigs (Option D, above) are, for many, the only element of a lifelong equation that will break the inertia of a death sentence. Outsiders won't see this no matter how much we try to tell them because they're not entrenched the way we are. To the outsider, we don't need e-cigs, we need willpower.

Side Note: I'm really sick of that "they just lack willpower" rhetoric spewed by non/former smokers. If you never smoked, then good for you. If you use to smoke but quit, then you either weren't as addicted, found other outlets for your anxiety, have a much smoother life than others. Either way, neither group is superior over smokers. I could easily argue that someone with a rockier life is actually living their life versus someone that is going through life cautiously and with fewer ripples. /rantoff

I'm sorry, but non (and even a lot of former) smokers really are a cold bunch. When it comes to getting others to understand the addiction of smoking, I've heard statements like,

"Serves you right for starting a nasty habit."
"That's not my problem."
"Then quit."
​

Even those that are sympathetic are, well, unsympathetic. I remember an interesting discussion I had with another individual. I think I'm going to wrap up this post with that exchange and a closing thought.

A friend invited me over for dinner. I had already started using an e-cig and was off cigarettes. I arrive close to the time that dinner is being served. Just prior to sitting down to eat, I express my enthusiasm for my e-cig and begin explaining it to him. He seems mildly interested, but when I go to use it (in his house), he asks me not to. I try to explain that it is harmless, but he still protests. He then asks me why I need an e-cig and why I don't just quit. I try to tell him it's not that easy but he scoffs at this and tells me I'm just weak. Okay, this is where you need more information. My friend is over 350 pounds. I should have just left well enough alone and respected his wishes since it was his home, but.. ..I'm not always wise. I then asked him why he doesn't try to lose weight. A few sentences later and I found myself standing outside his house wondering where I should go for dinner.

It might seem like hypocrisy. How can I question his ability to diet while presenting my difficulty to quit smoking. I wasn't calling him weak. I was trying to get him to see that we all struggle with something. I thought our friendship could handle that debate. As I wrote above, my wisdom fails me sometimes. Why did I mention that whole incident? Even people that share similar addictive natures can't side with us. We truly are pariahs.

Closing thoughts?

Look. Death is real. Really real. Switching to e-cigs isn't just some trendy fad. It is our only option "D" that we have. We need to fight for e-cigs like our lives depend on it because they do. Don't expect the rest of the world to instantly sympathize with us. They didn't respect us when we were smoking and they won't understand us (completely) when we point to e-cigs and say "Well let us have this then."

We need to fight for this like there's no tomorrow because if we lose this and end up back on regular tobacco (as most likely will) then there really won't be a tomorrow for us.

Take the time to add your comments on other posts.

Add your sentiments to petitions and other posted commentaries.

Take a few hours out of your busy lives to attend a local public hearing.

Educate others with clear and calm explanations on e-cigs.

Why?

Your life depends on it.. ..as do the lives of others.

 

[chrisl317]

Just the act of being born leads to death, anything else in between is just icing on the cake. Really what it seems to me your going on about is the length of life one wants. I've come to terms with death along time ago. I don't fear it, it's the dying part that bothers me and I think that's what really bothers most people.

 

[Unperson]

Just the act of being born leads to death, anyhting else in between is just icing on the cake. Really what it seems to me your going on about is the length of life one wants. I've come to terms with death along time ago. I don't fear it, it's the dying part that bothers me and I think that's what really bothers most people.

Knowing you're going to die is one thing. Taking steps to ensure that it won't be through an agonizing means such as lung cancer or (at the very least) postpone death to a later date is another.

 

[bestthingever]

Extremely well-written, Unperson.

 

[martha1014]

Very well written. I agree with you. If I had continued to smoke not only would I die an early death but I would have suffered until my death. Not being able to breathe is a terrible experience. I worked at a hospital for 30 years. I remember when I was young a patient came in the ER. He was sitting in a wheel chair gasping for breath and cursing cigarette. I smoked then and although this bothered me and has stuck with me all of these years I still smoked.

When I found out I had COPD after smoking 40 years I remembered this little old man. Everytime I would get some shortness of breath I would remember this little old man gasping for breath.

IMO cigarette addiction is one of the worst things to break. We know how it will all end but we continue in spite of this.

If not for ecigs I would still be smoking cigarette and gasping for breath.

 

[chrisl317]

So really, this is about suffering "the icing on the cake". I look at it this way. People have asked me if I had it to do all over again, would I. I say no all the time. In my life I have taken left turns and right turns. Some of them turned out to be the good choice, some haven't. If I did it all over again, even if I knew about what I screwed up the first time, who's to say I wouldn't make other seemingly stupid mistakes the second time around. My life has been what is is supposed to be, because I chose it. It will end when it is supposed to, but, not before.

 

[Unperson]

So really, this is about suffering "the icing on the cake". I look at it this way. People have asked me if I had it to do all over again, would I. I say no all the time. In my life I have taken left turns and right turns. Some of them turned out to be the good choice, some haven't. If I did it all over again, even if I knew about what I screwed up the first time, who's to say I wouldn't make other seemingly stupid mistakes the second time around. My life has been what is is supposed to be, because I chose it. It will end when it is supposed to, but, not before.

You must be a fan of Schopenhauer's, "The World as Will and Representation". I'm not.

 

[chrisl317]

Knowing you're going to die is one thing. Taking steps to ensure that it won't be through an agonizing means such as lung cancer or (at the very least) postpone death to a later date is another.

No one really knows when they are going to die, unless you're committing suicide. Spit happens all the time. Try as much as you want to postpone death, it's patient. In all though, seems like dying an agonizing death now-a-days is the norm. I don't really hear of people dying peacefully in their sleep at home to often anymore. I think assisted suicide is a compassionate way to go if faced with the kind of death you all are talking about.

 

[Unchainme]

Just wanted to say thank you Unperson. We need the reminder that our time is not infinite, it is easy to forget on a day to day basis. This realization is one of the many reasons I started using an ecig. I also had a similar reaction of indifference from my "best friend".

 

[chrisl317]

You must be a fan of Schopenhauer's, "The World as Will and Representation". I'm not.

Actually, yes. I think he was way before his time. Things he wrote about like a survival instinct winning out over reason, limited gov't (he'd rather be ruled by a lion than one of his own fellow rats). He wrote about the ego before Freud. He pondered life, death and living before Schrodinger's cat. He was against slavery, didn't believe in treating different races differently, but, was a chauvinist. Good thought provoking reading to me.

 

[Saints]

Very nice read and I see both perspectives and also agree with both..to an extent. I guess I may be an old soul as I have been at peace with death even at an early age, whenever it may occur and it does not scare me. What does scare me is leaving loved ones behind and the pain that they will go through, even though I know that that pain will be a fraction of time in the ever expanding universe, but that pain is one I can shorten by living a longer life and sharing, learning and teaching with my loved ones. That is the choice that I am now trying to make, to extend my time here, not for myself, but for my loved ones.

 

[boochips]

Actually the American diet is now killing more people than smoking does. I think you were right to confront your "friend" about his eating habits. One of my sisters told me that I should just quit cold turkey like she did. She said that you can do anything if you put your mind to it. This sister weighs over 300 pounds. I just looked at her in disbelief as she continued eating. She had no clue how stupid her statement really was. She does not even make the connection between her addiction and mine.

 

[D103]

Unperson I loved your post, thank you. I really appreciate your intelligence, your insights and your humor - I wish you would post more often. Option "D" -so very true. I am a Certified Substance Abuse counselor and a recovering person myself (twenty-six years clean and sober). I always tell my clients the following (when they get all sidtracked into pissing and moaning about all the petty things in life): "Imagine we were all on an ocean liner out in the middle of the ocean and having a grand old time, singing, dancing, laughing, drinking, etc. Then we realize the unthinkable, the ship went down - it's too late and of no use to try and figure out why, who's to blame, etc. - we are the only ones left on this life-raft out in the middle of the ocean. It's dark, we have no idea where we are or how we are going to make it. We simply do not have time nor can we afford to worry about petty things - (who said what, who was first in line, who used my toothpaste, who hurt my feelings and why,etc etc) We have to work together and SURVIVE. Now just because you can't see the life-raft now, nor the ocean, believe me that is exactly where you are and you cannot afford the luxury of pettiness - you must learn to survive, learn how to live sober. They always seem to 'get this'.
Your post reminded me of this somewhat and I agree we need to fight for our right to choose - our Option "D" because no one will do it for us, we do not have time for pettiness and our very lives depend on it. Thanks again!

 

[scheherezade]

Nice to see someone else that doesn't take life for granted. I think a reminder is always welcome that we need to take time out of our busy schedules to make sure that not only ourselves, but other smokers who may not have found e-cigarettes have a legal right to make that choice. I'm one of those adult's with a full life; family, work and returning college student. I do try to make time to write letters, send emails and let anyone who asks me know exactly what they are and why I switched. I just finished a presentation about both the e-cigarette, and those that are trying to legislate it out of existence to my english class (research paper). I'm planning on seeing how many places I can publish it and bits of it, just to get the word out. It's easy to ban what you don't understand. PV's saved my life. Hopefully I can play some part in making sure that they are available to save someone else's.

 

[the_antisheep]

No one really knows when they are going to die, unless you're committing suicide. Spit happens all the time. Try as much as you want to postpone death, it's patient. In all though, seems like dying an agonizing death now-a-days is the norm. I don't really hear of people dying peacefully in their sleep at home to often anymore. I think assisted suicide is a compassionate way to go if faced with the kind of death you all are talking about.

A lot of this has to do with our perceived ability to "fight death." A futile endeavor, regardless of the plight, but modern medicine has paved the way for an excruciating death (think Chemotherapy, machines that pump our hearts for us, etc). Few die of natural causes anymore, as we fight every "natural" cause with modern technology in an attempt to get those few extra breaths. Is it worth it? I suppose that depends on the case....

Unperson:

Best reading I have had to date on this site, but in answer to your approach with your friend, when you are in someone's house, you must respect them and their home when you are a guest, regardless of how much you may disagree with their rules. I know this isn't the point, and believe me, it has not been lost on me, but I figured I would throw that in as a conjecture to the example.

 

[DC2]

Great post, thanks.

I thought I was invincible until I seperated my should in a skiing accident a few years ago.
That was when I was 42 years old.

Funny how close you can find yourself to mortality when you are no longer immortal.

 

[Big Thier]

My only fear of death is reincarnation.

 

[chrisl317]

My only fear of death is reincarnation.

Reincarnation could be fun if you would remember your last life. Can you say "payback"?

 

[Unperson]

My only fear of death is reincarnation.

I can do without the "Restart Mission" option for my life. I wouldn't mind a "Quick Save" option though.

 

[jeanblackwood]

Nicely written . I guess we really have our work cut out for us but I can't get rid of that feeling that no matter what we do the money always wins in the end . I will still fight and give my 100 +% but that nagging feeling still remains .