Isn't summer vacation over yet????

[suddenly]

MY 5yr old granddaughter has been out of school for almost a week now and I think thats long enough! Isn't it time for kids to go back to school?

I take care of my 2 grandchildren about 12 hours a day 3-4 days a week.

My 5 yr old granddaughter is such a dirty bagger. She will take a wrapper off a sucker and just throw it on the floor, the same with cloths, toys or anything else. She can destroy every room in the house in about 15 mins and she does. It takes me about 2 hours to clean up after her. While my 2yr old grandson is so neat with his little dust pan and broom, it takes about 10 mins. He is such a neat freak.

I used to take care of them at my daughters house and I liked that much better. That way they didn't trash my house. But now Daddy gets off work at noon(he never babysits! grrrrrr) and he is going for his masters degree and needs quiet to do homework.

Her other set of grandparents have no rules and she can do whatever she wants, same with Daddy. So I am the mean grandma! I even told her today that if she didn't help me clean I was gonna dunk her head in the john. Of course she didn't believe me because I am also her funny grandma.

Her mother(my daughter) and I are the only 2 who try to get that kid to help pick up her mess. She is a good girl, just a real slob. 3 adults against 2 is not working out here.

Any suggestions would greatly be appreciated, before she kills this granny off.

Thank you
Nancy

 

[Stephaniems]

The way I stopped my kids from making messes like that was to make them clean it up every single time, if they threw a fit they got an appropriete punishment and right back to cleaning up the mess. Took about 2wks but now they pay attention to the messes they are causing. I DID not clean it all up for them. An no matter if the fit took 10 mins or 2hours THEY cleaned it up. Good luck with it. If nothing else she will learn when she is at your home she will not be messy cause she will clean it.

And its not babysitting when dad does it, its called him taking care of his kids.

 

[cataine]

I agree with teaching her to clean up after herself - I would also say small punishments wouldn't help...if she throws candy wrappers on the floor ... simply tell her if she does it again, there will be no candy. I've given my kids a deadline to clean up their things - anything left after the deadline is over is taken away. It doesn't have to be permanently, but long enough to make an impact (most often the toys are earned back) My kids are terrible - mainly because I've always done everything for them...after my divorce I went back to work full time and learned that it takes all 3 of us to keep our house clean and I've started the slow process of teaching them. It takes time and I have to be very consistent or they are right back where we started...

I'll tell you an embarassing and fairly gross story - I discovered that my kids were shoving things under the entertainment center in order to clean up faster...and I mean anything they could. With some help, I moved the large enterainment center away from the wall (with the girls there) to discover piles of all sorts of things - toys, food, trash..

I made them clean it - all. The weird sticky sucker, the dead beetle, trash, it didn't matter...it was horrible. Everything under there went in the trash can...toys and all. I made sure that they understood that this would cause our house to be overrun by bugs (both of them hate bugs) and bugs would bring spiders...Since that day there isn't one thing under the entertainment center - and I have yet to find empty food wrappers anywhere but the trash can.

 

[blueeyekelly]

I agree, you need to find a disciplinarian method to fit what she does, and have her at lest help clean up, no matter what kind of fit she throws (ok still working on my kids to get them to help me but...)

As for their daddy not watching them because he has to study... life only gets harder after college and if he can not take the responsibility now how the heck does he expect to take it up latter, kids being loud and destructive while you are trying to concentrate is a fact of life if you have kids, you need to learn to deal with it. It goes back to the whole thing of if someone can not take responsibility for their actions they just need to keep it in their pants....

 

[stover.p]

I have a 17 year old daughte that is a total slob! Since she was old enough to clean up her own mess she's fought it. I will never forget when she was 4 and we gave her 30 minutes to clean the toys off her bedroom floor. When time was up I walked in with a trash bag and she started putting the toys in the bag! I have spanked, taken things away, thrown things away, grounded, you name it and she's still a slob. We're moving into our new house soon and I'm scared she's going to pit it out. She has no sense of putting anything up or cleaning behind herself. I'm at my wits end with this one. My son was the total opposite. Go figure!

 

[cataine]

I have a 17 year old daughte that is a total slob! Since she was old enough to clean up her own mess she's fought it. I will never forget when she was 4 and we gave her 30 minutes to clean the toys off her bedroom floor. When time was up I walked in with a trash bag and she started putting the toys in the bag! I have spanked, taken things away, thrown things away, grounded, you name it and she's still a slob. We're moving into our new house soon and I'm scared she's going to pit it out. She has no sense of putting anything up or cleaning behind herself. I'm at my wits end with this one. My son was the total opposite. Go figure!

Is she generally a good kid otherwise? the only reason I ask is because I was the same was as a kid...it was my ONLY form of rebellion...

I hope you figure out how to fix it...my mom gave up and just did things for me and it took me a LONG time to break the habits...now I have to figure out how to teach my kids from the start :S

 

[stover.p]

Is she generally a good kid otherwise? the only reason I ask is because I was the same was as a kid...it was my ONLY form of rebellion...

I hope you figure out how to fix it...my mom gave up and just did things for me and it took me a LONG time to break the habits...now I have to figure out how to teach my kids from the start :S

She is generally a good kid. The usual teenage stuff. Lies gets caught gets grounded but no drugs, drinking, sneaking out or hurting anyone. Just a complete slob and lazy. She does have a job and she does a good job there just not at home............

 

[jjrose]

Three words .... Summer Day Camp

 

[stover.p]

Three words .... Summer Day Camp

Do they have those for teenagers too

 

[rfun6]

spank her. That is what I would do. If that's not your cup of tea, so to speak... then make her pick up and do jobs, if she won't, then sit her in a chair in the corner til she does.

 

[Nyxie]

And its not babysitting when dad does it, its called him taking care of his kids.

I was about to go there LOL But didn't have to

 

[Fudgey]

I hated summer break when my kids were in school and I came home to a messy house and they were old enough to know better. I made them a chore list daily, and if they did not do it then the cable was disconnected, and the next day for all 3 of them. That got there attention really quick, from then on they helped each other with the chores! I would set her in time out.
When she doesn't pick something up and you have to put it in a basket in view but unreachable to her and tell her she can have it when she learns to up her toys, as far as the food wrappers if it is something that is a treat don't let her have them any more.
Or tie her to a chair everyday...LOL.
Just my 2 cents.

 

[Mickirette]

That was cute Fudge I had 8 kids here yesterday, oldest was 11 and the youngest is 1 and the vision of tying them up is just plain fun to think about and notice I did say think.

 

[Nyxie]

I guess you would have to treat this as you would any other time. Be firm and tell her that at her house she has rules or lack of and at your house she has rules. When she is at your house she has to follow your rules. if it takes time out at granny's house then so be it. She will learn. You said you are the mean granny , but also the funny one. I think she will appreciate the stearn meanie granny later. But still have the funny one to talk about.
Maybe you can reward her good behavior during the week with a trip some place or a fun thing to do on the last day of the week you are with her. Tell her at the beginning that if she does xx and x this week you will do something fun at the end of the week . Or whatever time period to get through each day.

 

[Nyxie]

I have had this summer issue with all my kids here. At one point or another. The problem for me is that I am strict in a way that is different than my hubby's ex was and I have 2 bonus kids here. They are great kids but I feel like I am stepping on egg shells trying to get them to do things. I have no problem reeling my own kids in.
Unfortunately I never resolved the issues of being pigs, I don't think that is possible anyway. I think some people are and some aren't. Those who really aren't realize one day that it is just better to be clean , all on thier own. Like I did. I was a huge pig when I was little and into my teens.
My oldest , the biggest piggy . Is now living elsewhere because she is 22 and she doesnt want to hear about she is a pig any more. No that isnt why she left really LOL. My Bonus Son, pig number 2, lives with his Mom now. She grounds him for EVERYTHING! Poor kid, he is a decent kid , just piggish with the messes. My 13 yr old girl is out of state for most of the summer so I don't have to solve anything during the summer, she is kind of pissy during the school yr but not as bad as the other 2. My 17 yr old Bonus daughter watched us rag on 22 yr old and 15 yr old piggies and doesnt want to get ragged on.So she helps occasionally and doesnt make huge messes. I can't say the same for when she was 13 though LOL.
Now I have a whole new little piggy, she is 4 so I don't just deal with her in the summer . I have it all yr long, until next yr. when she goes to school.

 

[stover.p]

Or tie her to a chair everyday...LOL.
Just my 2 cents.

This reminds me of when my son was about 8 he got a magic set for a gift. He talked my then 4 yr old daughter into tying her to the chair and he'd use his "magic" to release her. Well, he tied her up and then couldn't get the rope off. I heard her screaming thinking she was hurt and ran into the room to find her tied up and him laughing. I had to grab a camera..........it was a Kodak moment I still have the pic. I'll have to see if I can find it and scan it and post it. She still remembers that!

 

[beebopnjazz]

My kids made a magnet board with dry erase for writing in the things they wanted my granddaughters to work on, i.e. picking up toys, being good at school, eating dinner, etc. My daughter couldn't find any cute magnets so she went to Michael's Craft store and bought the round disk magnets and then cute cut out foam pieces to make butterflies, gems, the word "Princess", etc. hot gluing the pieces on the magnets. The girls love them! They save them up and the board is wiped of the magnets after they've been redeemed - Ayleigh has seen "How to Train Your Dragon", bought new Barbie's etc. Michela has used hers for new Barbies or gear too, as well as a trip to the "Please Touch" museum. I think she's trying for the Aquarium next.

This all stems from when my son was younger and he his teacher said while he excels in school once he's received a good grade - his mode is "what's next" - not motivated to get that "A" over and over again. We developed an extended point system using poker chips and a lengthy list of things he could cash his chips in for (he was 8 or 9 when we did this). His normal, day-to-day activities earned him enough points to redeem them for staying up late on a Friday night - or having a friend spend the night. Then there were the big ticket items which he had to warn us he was saving his chips for (BMX bike, trip with a friend to Cedar Point Amusement Park, etc.)

When he was a pre-schooler and in 1st and 2nd grades - I would tell him that any toy he left out would be taken away - when that stopped working I told him they'd be thrown away - he would see toys sitting on top of the trash can in the kitchen - he would very quickly retrieve them and put them where they belonged. It didn't take too long to stop the toy littering behavior - his greatest fear is that he would miss toys on top of the trash and the trash would be taken out.

 

[Stephaniems]

I tried the I'll throw these toys away if you don't pick them up, that works for only so long and if you have 2 boys sharing a room well one of them isnt gonna care if they are tossed in the trash. So I had to use bigger punishments in the winter its no computer or game time and in the summer its NO POOL hehe. I'm mean like that.

 

[stover.p]

Like I mentioned before at the age of 3 my daughter wanted to throw her toys away to keep from putting them away! Looking back I know I should've put them in the bag and thrown them in the attic but did I? NO I cracked up laughing............not good. I also think it was a sign that she had too many toys! Of course now I'm mean because I won't buy her a new cell phone everytime a new model comes out. I told her if she wanted a new one she had to buy it. She still bugs me about it tho. She's the type that will not let something go...........goes on and on until you want to throttle her. Still trying to figure the cure that.

 

[Nyxie]

Like I mentioned before at the age of 3 my daughter wanted to throw her toys away to keep from putting them away! Looking back I know I should've put them in the bag and thrown them in the attic but did I? NO I cracked up laughing............not good. I also think it was a sign that she had too many toys! Of course now I'm mean because I won't buy her a new cell phone everytime a new mobil comes out. I told her if she wanted a new one she had to buy it. She still bugs me about it tho. She's the type that will not let something go...........goes on and on until you want to throttle her. Still trying to figure the cure that.

If you figure it out let me know please! My 13 yr old is just like that.