it has been a long frustrating day...

[caligirlINky]

i will start off by saying i slipped.
in case you didnt see my thread last week, my hubby had a massive heart attack that he survived. he was released last friday. yesterday we stopped by his office. one of his employees put a mostly used pack of my hubbys smokes into my purse. my hubby left them in his vehicle on the way to the er last week. the guy didnt want to tempt my hubby by giving them back to him but wasnt sure if he should throw them away. he knows i also quit smoking a couple months ago but i have been very vocal of the fact that even being around cigarettes or smokers hasnt tempted me. ive been proud of my success with my ecig. i threw the pack into my center console with the intention of throwing them away. unfortunately they didnt make it to thw trash before today. had an extremely stressful day at the hospital. brought my hubby back for a procedure that started off 3 hrs late and snowballed from there. he made it thru the procedure ok but with complications. by the time we made it to a room (sat in recovery all day) it was 11pm. he was crabby and upset which made me crabby and upset. im sure the nurse was as glad to get rid of us as we were to leave.

one of the trips to my vehicle to get our stuff i swear i heard that pack calling to me. i took one out and just sat there with it in my mouth but didnt light it at 1st. i went thru all the reasons why not but came up with an excuse for each one. the first hit made me cough and tasted terrible. it amazed me how little time it took to get used to it again. i put it out after smoking half and i threw it and the rest of the pack away.

the moral to all of this is no matter how confident i was in my ecig and quitting, cigarettes will be a problem for a long time and i dont know if i will ever get to the point where i can be around them alone and stressed. temptation is very powerful.

 

[bnrkwest]

So sorry for all the stress you and your hubby are going thru. Don't beat yourself up but take everything a moment at a time. Don't sweat the small stuff. bnrk

 

[Iffy]

Ya wouldn't have known how bad they taste without 'giving in'. Now, ya know!


Hang in dere!!!

 

[Demiurgous]

These things happen. It's important to remember two things. One, you're under some pretty unusual stress. Don't beat yourself up for that. Two, you didn't care for it at the time or afterward. No harm no foul.

Best wishes.

 

[heroinesick]

My thoughts are with you right now. I know this is a stressful time for you, and the best thing you can do is not beat yourself up over having a cigarette. What you CAN do, is congratulate yourself on all of the ones you DIDN'T smoke during this time period. Imagine if you never found vaping. How many packs would you have gone through? If that one is less than that amount, that's what you have to be proud of.

All in all, stay strong, and I hope your husband recovers soon. I can't even imagine what that must be like, but you are in my thoughts.

 

[alisa1970]

I can relate, totally. I haven't been able to go as long as you, but I have slipped a couple of times since I quit. Went through the same rationalizations/hesitations as you did. Just consider it a small bump in the road and go back to vaping. As people have said, count the ones you haven't smoked, and know that you're still OK. We're human, after all--humans with a nasty addiction.

 

[Hello World]

i swear i heard that pack calling to me.

Yup, those calls ... why I ended up smoking again and again even after almost half a year post-cold turkey.

Nowadays I make sure I have 1 PV nearby that has twice the nic concentration of my usual juices to proactively deal with those temptations instantly.

 

[QLogic]

First I would like to say I'm sorry to hear about your husband and I will keep him in my prayers. I can relate to being weak in a stressful situation. A few weeks back when I was still dealing with my Dial-a-Volt, I was in a heated discussion with my wife when my dam PV died. IDK if you're familiar with this specific ecig but the charging time is horrific. I still had 5 cigs laying around from my last pack and sure enough I picked up a lighter and fired one up. Fortunately for me I instantly found the taste and smell unbearable. I put that cig out and the rest went st8 in the toilet. I don't think I will have any more weak moments. I mean sure I still find myself wanting a analog sometimes but then I just remember that smell and taste, after that I take a nice long hit of the awesome vapor and I'm good to go!

 

[Scoop224]

If your husband is anything like me, get rid of those smokes and all other tobacco right away! I've suffered 3 heart attacks since turning 30 (all in last 10 years) and even though 2 of them were massive, the first thing I did when I got out of the hospital was to light up again. Stupid....yes, I know. But addiction is funny that way.

Use this as a perfect time to convert him to vaping since it's the act of inhaling something that will pull him back in more than the nicotine itself. Trust me..... Heart attacks are scary and suck big time... But smoking is one of the hardest things to give up and even big scares like this aren't enough to make some people quit. I only wish I'd had vaping available after my first M.I. In 2003, I'd have never smoked another cig and might have avoided losing half of my heart muscle to to additional attacks and clogged stents and congestive heart failure.

Seize on this opportunity!!!

 

[drsocal]

Sorry to hear about this. Our best wishes are with you.

 

[caligirlINky]

thanks for all the encouragment.

i have found i can deal with smoking half a cigarette. in 2+ months i guess its not too bad. what i didnt think of right away but now REALLY bothers me is how can i help my hubby stay away from them if i cant? apparently he had a full pack tucked away in his motorcycle and has been sneaking off to smoke them every day since he got out of the hospital. i told him how proud i was of him for not buying a pack (before i knew he had one) and quitting smoking. i didnt tell him but i was so dissapointed when i found out he had been smoking since the 1st day out of the hospital and that let me think he hadnt. i know he could see the disappointment in my face. but now how can i encourage him to quit if ive had one too.

my ecig has been a god send. i couldnt have gotten this far without it. i know that hes only had one or two smokes a day and has been using his ecig the rest of the time. so its been helping him too especially now that hes using it like a cigarette instead of just taking a vape or two periodically. i just want him to make the most of the 2nd chance hes been given. i know his ecig is going to be a big part of his recovery.

 

[stefania123]

dont beat yourself up.. count the ones you dont smoke, not the ones you do.

and... aroma wta helps. the alkaloids naturally occurring in the tobacco leaf are not just nicotine- but the maoi's- which wta has.

take care of yourself and your love, all the best. <3

 

[JBL-37]

Keep on truckin, relaps is a part of recovery. The best support you can give is to be a good role model. So you slipped, who doesn't? You definitely have nothing to beat yourself up over, get back to vaping and just remember how bad it was and how guilty you felt. Even if he is sneaking off at least he has to go to extra lengths to have one. Who knows what's going through his head too. We're all different and were all going to handle things differently. Express your disappointment with him, remind him his decisions effect you as well but be supportive and loving about it. Ultimately you can only really do right by yourself and hope he follows suit. I'm sure you'll both get there, together or at different times

 

[Hello World]

After a heart attack, maybe best to leave things be for a while until he's well and back on his feet. He probably already has his hands full with worries about his life, family and what not. Make for comfort, and deal with his smoking issues when he's back up to full battery.

 

[Dana A]

I am so sorry to hear about your husbands ill health. Don't worry about that little slip. I cannot believe you only had one. You must be a very strong person. Don't forget to take care of you in the midst of the storm. Keep your head up. Brighter days are ahead.

 

[caligirlINky]

it has been a very trying few days since we left the hospital so i hadnt gotten a chance to get back on ecf. ive been a mother and wife for 25 yrs so it just comes natural to take on as much as i can and feel guilty when things dont go exactly the way i want. im sure its some kind of control issue. if i cant show him how "easy" it is to use the ecig and not smoke how can i expect him to quit too. its where being a mother and a wife kinda crossover.

im hoping things will change soon. i know he feels bad for smoking and he is keeping it down to a couple a day. i just know how easy it is to go from 1 or 2 up to 10. its difficult to watch happen when i know how dangerous it is for him.

 

[AngusATAT]

I slipped for a year and a half. Went through some pretty stressful times that ended with a career change, and now I only get home two days a month to see my wife. I just recently got back to vaping, and it's a lot harder to quit this time, but I will get there.

I really hope things get better for you soon.