Ladies, what are your holiday plans?

[Prettycat191]

Just found out that we're going to my Aunt's for Thanksgiving rather than to Grandma's, first extended family Thanksgiving we've had in years. We always had them at Grandma's every year growing up, as many as 35 people at Grandma's each Thanksgiving! We also always put up and decorated the Christmas tree in the evening of Thanksgiving day. After the men finished watching the Turkey day football game.

It kind of sucks though, I'm the wallflower, the shy one who always feels left out and ignored. It's worse around my family because I'm not an outgoing person and never have been, only I think they just see me as standoffish or proud. Some of my cousins won't say anything more to me than hello if I say hi, then proceed to act like I'm not even there. *Sigh* The joy of family. Hopefully someone that actually likes me will be there (though I doubt it, because the only ones who like me are also the others who were shunned by the majority of the family for being "different", and they generally avoid these family gatherings).

I was so mad the year we had my grandparent's 50th wedding anniversary/vow renewal, because no one really talked to hubby other than my grandparents (who are the kind of people who love you and treat you well just because you're part of their family, and seem to genuinely care all of the time). It's one thing to treat me that way, but another to treat my new husband that you're meeting for the first time that way. My family is a damn clique!

Ok, rant over, back to regularly scheduled programming!

 

[tofucute]

why bother going?

 

[Prettycat191]

Because my grandparents will be there, and my favorite Aunt is going too now. She claimed the only sides I know how to make though lol, so I guess I'm taking frozen pies! They'll have time to thaw on the trip, it's 5 hours.

I keep hoping things will be different this time, maybe it's time to work on my "I don't care what they think because I'm happy with me the way I am" mind-set again. I had to learn that in order to talk to complete strangers at my job, and when telling my parents that I was divorcing my first husband.

 

[Mary Kay]

My family will be coming over, my daughter and I will cook most of the sides and my son will make a dish for us. But the turkey will be my oldest grandson's job and the stuffing will be made once again the night before by my 11 yr old grandson (with me "helping"). last year they both did good jobs and got major bragging rights!
Eatting is just secondary to the family in the kitchen cooking and hubby setting up the tables. The outside one is for us to talk at while the cooking is going on..the inside table is for eatting. Mike takes his offical "tasting" seriously .

We don't watch sports, the Grands will glance at the TV once in a while..but mostly it's movies and talking.

I used to have family dinners with mom, g'ma and the Great Aunts and their families.. (like 50 people at my Great Aunts farm)what a drama! Now it's just us with friends dropping in. Fun and relaxed.

 

[Prettycat191]

The past few years we had Thanksgiving with hubb's brothers, but they're not here anymore, so if we weren't going there it'd be just us. If we weren't having this Thanksgiving thing, then my parents would probably come here for Thanksgiving with us, but there's no way they wouldn't go to the Thanksgiving with the extended family (unless there were extenuating circumstances).

My family is from a small town, so all of my aunts and uncles and grandparents on each side of my family know each other, but I didn't grow up close to any of them except my dad's brother's family. They're the ones I'm close to, and the other outcasts in the family because they didn't grow up near the main "group" either. My brother doesn't have as much trouble with it as I do because he was always outgoing, and him and 2 of our other boy cousins were all born within a year of each other, so they're all close.

I remember the year they put up a stink because my closest cousin dyed her hair black, she was obviously depressed but they shunned her for it. She ended up attempting suicide (another thing that makes us close because I went through the same thing), and became even more of an outcast. This is the uber religious family that preaches at you if they even have the idea that you might be doing something "wrong"; heaven help us if they find out I'm an athiest. Sometimes I just wanna pull that bible out of their hands and remind them of the not judging others idea.

Damn, I said I was done ranting...shame on me!

 

[dotma]

Prettycat, wow, some fun family issues going on there! As for me, I get to work on thanksgiving -- yeehaw. So hubs and i were thinking of having Thanksgiving on that Saturday instead. We usually have his mom over and both my kids and hopefully grandkids. There were a lot of things in your post that I soooo identified with tho. Like the shy thing -- I am way less shy than i used to be but still overall i guess you never really get completely over that. (I NEVER spoke in school, to the extent that people thought I was either slow or couldnt speak english.)

I identify with the family thing a tiny bit also. My dad was in the Air Force so we moved all over the place all the time. My mom's family is in japan so I dont ever see them. My dads family is in Illinois and Indiana and I have barely seen them either. So I am the only one of all my cousins who did not grow up right there in the midwest with the grandparents, aunts, uncles, all that stuff. The only difference is that they are not judgemental like that (well i dont think they are anyway) and they NEVER would try to make me feel like an outcast, but that is pretty much my own doing because I know that everybody else is very close and I am the only one who is not.

I really really hope that things go well with your Thanksgiving and I expect an update afterwards! lol

 

[Prettycat191]

I imagine I'll enjoy myself while I'm there with my nice family members, it's not like they're all out mean or anything, they just...ignore your existence really. Some of it may be me being so reserved, but it's definitely not all of it. Even the times I put myself out there and tried, I still got ignored. Most of them are on my Facebook and I post on their statuses sometimes, but the worst ones never even acknowledge me. Sometimes I wonder if I did something to them when I was young without knowing it.

I actually had this problem with the church I grew up in too, all the outcasts were my friends, but the "in" crowd ignored me (I was home schooled, so I didn't have the high school crowd do it to me, I definitely had the high school experience at my church), but the cliques at that church were a largely known problem. First time I ever fought my shyness was to stand up in front of the entire youth group (like 100 teenagers who almost all hated me), to talk about cliques and how harmful they were. Laid myself bare in front of them all, and what did I get in return? Nothing of course, they just went about their normal every day crap.

 

[dotma]

wow, im sorry about all that. Teenagers can be total a-holes sometimes, well so can adults i guess.

 

[Prettycat191]

Yeah, once they get that way it doesn't usually stop.

This thread is supposed to be about holiday plans, not my life story lol.

We're famous for going off topic around here, and I think I'm the worst offender lol. Get me started talking and I don't shut up!

 

[CES]

I'm going to go see my parents for thanksgiving. The past few years they've come here- but i think it's starting to get more difficult for them to travel, and they don't want to admit it. I'm really looking forward to it.

I'm with you on the extended family thing prettycat. I don't usually go to the big family stuff on my mom's side. They're all nice. But I'm actually shy-ish in real life, and it's a huge group that lives fairly close to each other and has lots shared experiences. We all want to connect but there's not that much to say.

Just be yourself, connect with the people there that you are going to see, and let go of any expectations for the rest of them. They are who they are- enjoy the time with your parents and the nice family members.

 

[rkayw]

Actually no idea what we are doing or where we are doing it at yet. Spending the day with family I'm sure, even if that be just one or two of them.
I'm sure there will be some "O.M.G I'm full" moaning involved.

 

[Fudgey]

We will be having all the kids and grandkids here.....lots of people.....lots of food

 

[Lisa66]

Because Christmas is such a huge production for our families, hundreds of miles away, we opt to stay in town. For the first few years we lived here, I cooked and had over another "orphaned" couple. We got tired of all the leftovers (I can't stand roasted turkey after the first meal.....) and began to reserve a table at a nice restaurant with a fireplace, with the same couple. I make a nice brunch and we just relax, then go out for a 7:00 dinner. It's nice.

Then Christmas comes and all hell breaks loose.

 

[tofucute]

Because my grandparents will be there, and my favorite Aunt is going too now. She claimed the only sides I know how to make though lol, so I guess I'm taking frozen pies! They'll have time to thaw on the trip, it's 5 hours.

I keep hoping things will be different this time, maybe it's time to work on my "I don't care what they think because I'm happy with me the way I am" mind-set again. I had to learn that in order to talk to complete strangers at my job, and when telling my parents that I was divorcing my first husband.

ya, don't sweat it. if they don't like you that's their problem. let them fill themselves with bad energy and enjoy the time with your aunt and grandparents.

 

[Pissy]

We're having Thanksgiving on Wednesday this year, just because it works out better for those in my family that are traveling from 2 to 5 hours, and have to be to work on Friday. Sounds weird but then those who are still around will get together on Thursday and munch the left overs. I love the left overs! Turkey sandwiches, turkey soup, turkey pot pies, turkey and noodles...Yum!

 

[Prettycat191]

Plans changed, Grandma really wants it at her house this year, which I prefer anyway. Less stress going to my grandparents instead. Plus, I don't need GPS to find it, I know the route by heart lol. It's only 45 minutes closer, but that still is a difference of an hour and a half total driving and gas. Gas is a big concern with a minivan and high gas prices

 

[Lisa66]

My plans changed too. I'm doing the Turkey Trot 8K in the morning. Then I can eat whatever I want for the rest of the day! I hope it doesn't snow......

 

[CES]

Less driving is definitely better Pretty!

Good luck with your run Lisa.....but snow is possible ick?!

(I am so glad I'm going to arizona for this holiday- no snow there)

 

[KalNoodle]

This Thanksgiving is going to be very small compared to what I'm used to. Usually we head up to the UP to my Pappa's house for Thanksgiving and both sides of my family are there. But Pappa passed away in August, so obviously we won't be going up there. But, that's ok with me (well, the traveling part, anyways). My mom and her sister don't really care for my dad's and uncle's side of the family. (My mom and her sister married brothers).
So, yeah, only about 10 of us for Thanksgiving at my parent's and my house this year. Of course, there will be the usual Packer/Lions rivalry, because the majority of my family is from Yooperland and are Lions fans, while the rest of us have come to our senses and are now Packer fans. (Go Pack!) Maybe there will be a Red Wings game on and we can settle our differences; I'll have to look into that.

 

[CES]

oh my. Ten still sounds like a big group to me. Sorry to hear about your Pappa.


So, I know it's crazy, but I'm sort of a Lions fan- or i would be if I cared about football. It's a combination of living in Detroit when i was a kid, and that "rooting for the underdog" thing