Maybe I'm just whiny IDK.....

[Ryle]

Thanks for your input need_2quit, but like I said before.. I've done this before. and every time I let myself have "that piece of chocolate cake" I end up doing a complete 180 on the whole situation. I have incredible willpower and am so stubborn I make convincing a dead mule to move itself easy IF... and ONLY IF I truly want or don't want to do something. Honestly I only HALF want to do this, I've only ever half wanted to do it. I LIKE smoking, I like the taste of a camel wide, or a good menthol, I like the social aspects of smoking, I like the fact that it's the only thing l have left connecting me to the "good ol days"... combine all that with the fact that I don't care about the crap people say about the health effects of smoking, and the half of me that doesn't want to quit has nothing to convince it.

But I HAVE to quit. I made a promise, and I ALWAYS keep my promises, no exceptions, no excuses.

I'm sure tomorrow will be easier, but today feels like one of the worst of my life. Thats y I'm on here today, hoping you guys can help me make it through the day until I can get home where i have some sort of support. Seriously feel like my sanity is hanging on by a thread

 

[Halfzipp]

well.. all I can do after this last post of yours is Lol. I mean seriously... "the good old days"??.. youre not 80 years old.. youre 20. Lets come back to reality here a bit shall we. Not to mention the comment, "I dont care about the crap people say about the health effects of smoking" makes you seem like a complete tool. I know Im not the only one thinking this either. I can also say with 100% confidence, that this is definitely Not for you.

You need to do one thing, and one thing only.. Grow up.

 

[Rexa]

Maybe you just haven't found the right kit to quit with. What have you been using anyway? I don't want to advocate buying better and more expensive products but the reality is that nothing I was using before truely sustained/replaced my current addiction until I found things such as better atomizers, stronger kits (such as a screwdriver), using passthroughs etc.

When people want to make the initial switch they are going for everything that "looks" like a cigarette or whatever they can convince themselves can feel like one without realizing that most of those things are faulty, don't feed the addiction as well. Now of course PVs aren't going to replace other things which are more like mental addictions such has habits surrounding analogs but having the right products combined with the willpower can help you a lot more than just willpower by itself. If we all had such strong willpower a lot of would've quit PVs already.

Just my 2 cents.

 

[D05GTO]

Another thing that helped me stop. Went to the store a few weeks ago and bought a pack of smokes for 4.75 cents. Jesus.. the sticker shock. I'll spend 1000 dollars on e-cig stuff before spending another penny to feed the government.

 

[malyden]

Honestly what I need is for someone to put their boot in my @$$ and force me to quit no matter how hard I kick and scream and fight it. I sure as hell wish my dad had been man enough to do it when I was 13 and started in the first place. but all I can really hope for is support from other E-cig users and hope that it's enough, no one else really gets it.. make sense?

Ok here you go one good swift kick in the @$$ You can do this but you have to want to do it for yourself! You did it before you can do it again, so what you fell off the wagon, no one is perfect. And just because you vape doesn't mean that you can't go out with the smokers and socialize while you vape - if someone asks just tell them you're trying a new brand.
You have to care about yourself now while you're young enough and can do something about it, don't wait until you're so stuck in a rut that it's even harder.
You sound like you do want to go digital but you're holding yourself back. Just try smoking a analog then the next one vape. Do that for a few days then smoke one analog and the next two vape, etc. I know you are strong enough to get through this and you will always have my support. And I will be happy to give you a good @$$ kicking when ever you feel you need one

 

[calligal]

You are currently denying yourself of chemicals which your body is craving and your emotional levels are also being affected. Remember it is not only nicotine which you were smoking. I was once told that giving up smoking is just like losing your best friend and and grieving is a part of the process. Vaping will make it easier but there are times when you will need to remind yourself that you can get through this and that it will get better.
You are in a more difficult situation because smokers are a big part of your world and you choice is currently alienating you from that world.
For now you need to remind yourself that it isn't forever and it isn't everyone you are alienated from. Try to enjoy nonsmoker things-hugging your boyfriend, hanging with your sister, movies, etc.. Once are more confident you should be able to hang with smokers but perhaps (hopefully) by then you may have a few converts added to the group.
I wish I had quit when I had met my husband. He too had never smoked and it was the 1st time I had even really considered trying. I didn't even try and now 20 years later he is finally free of my 2nd hand smoke. We never had kids but I like to think I would have quit then.

 

[Ryle]

well.. all I can do after this last post of yours is Lol. I mean seriously... "the good old days"??.. youre not 80 years old.. youre 20. Lets come back to reality here a bit shall we. Not to mention the comment, "I dont care about the crap people say about the health effects of smoking" makes you seem like a complete tool. I know Im not the only one thinking this either. I can also say with 100% confidence, that this is definitely Not for you.

You need to do one thing, and one thing only.. Grow up.

Halfzipp if you cant say anything nice then don't talk to me, you have no place to tell me to grow up as you have no idea where I've been or the life I've lived the entire purpose of putting "the good ol days" in quotes is to represent the fact that i am using it as a figure of speech and not as actual fact, in that one sentance you have proven to me that you do not have the intellect for me to take anything you have to say seriously

secondly, caling me a tool makes you sound like a 13 year old with an attitude problem, nuff said on that point alone

beyond that, what kind of person would tell someone trying to quit looking for support "this is not for you" really? what a jerk, and beyond that, as you can see I've been around this forum much longer than you, and probably know more about the entire electronic cigarette thing than you do since I was researching this long before I joined the forum.

Why don't you backup a step and keep your jerky comments to yourself if you cant be a nice person, if you had read the entire thread and taken the time to understand where it is coming from you wouldn't have said half of what you just did, that or your just some troll that likes to do their best to piss people off to no purpose other than self amusement

 

[Walrus]

I'm going to intercede now and state unequivocally that the pissing match is now over. The next one to let it fly will not like the result.

Take it back to civil conversation.

No response is necessary, or even wanted.

Thank you for your cooperation.

 

[Ryle]

Rexa, I've tried penstyles (801's) they're crap in my opinion, reminds me of smoking a light cigarette which totally doesn't work for me. I've got about 8 901's (I'm fairly buddy buddy with the owner of E-smokey treats and have been buying from him since august.. i love the 901's lol) I also have 4 of skyrl's minis (they're REALLY tiny.. made me lol.. but they pack a serious punch and I think I'm falling in love with them more than the 901's) I also have 2 new 510's that I just bought from phil that are nice too, today I've been using all 3 off and on all day (having to juggle them so I don't overheat the attomizer) I've got my favorite strawberry extra high juice *shrug* unfortunatly I'm not one of the unenlightened that knows nothing about the various options. I know my problems are purely mental as I'm getting enough nicotine since I keep getting myself buzzed. Thats why I'm here for emotional support... but then when I get jerks like the guy that posted before you... that just makes me wanna go kill somebody. I swear I'm having mood swings like a pregnant woman! lol.. I don't mean to come off like a jerk in any way (just in case i did... im having difficulty moderating myself right now, i hope you forgive me) But i don't think it's the equipment thats the problem.

D05GTO < LOL I loved your post.. only 1 problem.. I can get analogs for free! (without breaking the law) lol so i truly cant use the money motivater

malyden and calligal , your posts actually made me tear up (stupid mood swings) you guys seem to totally get where I'm coming from. "I was once told that giving up smoking is just like losing your best friend and and grieving is a part of the process. " summed it up perfectly.....I love the idea of doing the nonsmoker things, and i really appreciate the way you make me feel like I've got someone actually backing me. The bf seems too worried about not getting his head ripped off to really do much for me right now lol.. not that im complaining. I honestly think I scared my sister when I came home.. My stepmom walked through the door and the first thing out of her mouth was "lets go smoke" can you belive it??? Right after I told her last night I was quitting and not to ask me to smoke again?? Such wonderful support that is huh? I think my reaction might have been a little harsh, i sorta growled at her and yelled threatening to rip her breasts off and stick them someplace they'd have a hard time fitting, though not so politely, when she calms down from being mad at me for yelling at her I'll go apoligize. Though my dad found it quite amusing, though he holds a life opinion of "no pity for stupidity" and that would qualify to him.

Oi.. just realized I'm sort of rambling. Thanks.. really. reading all the.. (kind) replies that I have received gives me a bit more confidence that I might be able to do this.. and stick to it this time, I guess it's just scary knowing I can't fail this time... if that makes sense

 

[calligal]

I guess I will admit that on day 7 vaping but analog free I went on a 20 minute manical rampage out of the blue and while alone. I not only scared myself I scared my parrot who was about 10 feet away watching and hearing me lose it.
After I calmed down it took me hours to get him to let me pick him up.
I have no idea why it took 7 days but I am postive the it was related to quitting smoking tobacco.

With that rather embarrassing admission I will also add that I have never found much support from others when quitting. It is even possible that some may subconciously want you to fail.
My hubby is king of saying the most inept things when I am upset. What a wonderful world it would be if he knew exactly what to say, when to say it, and when to run away.

You are in AZ so you may want to add a hello in http://www.e-cigarette-forum.com/forum/us-e-smokers/10275-anyone-arizona-7.html
I see some great people there and it looks like they want to make a meet and have a club.

 

[laynies]

Ryle, I think you are trying to find a way to smoke again. And I don't mean that as a condemnation or as trying to be mean. What I mean is that the mind will do strange things in those first few days after you stop smoking cigarettes.

It's very easy to "intend" to quit. You can list all the reasons why... yours are definitely good ones. I had some similar ones myself. You can plan ahead, stocking up on supplies, snacks, nicotine replacements, etc. You can tell all your friends, family and co-workers that "tomorrow is the day!". It is all very positive and possible. And the whole time you do this you are still getting the benefits of smoking.

Then comes quit day. And like any other addict, once the body starts to suffer withdrawal, the rationalizations start. Life suddenly seems more stressful, there are triggers EVERYWHERE. Nobody seems to really want to support you, it's like they are just waiting for you to fail. And so what if it means you'll die 40 years from now... right? All those reasons you had to quit pale in comparison to the demands your brain is making to get that smoke fix. The rages and depression are a response to the whole unfairness of the situation, not to mention the altered chemical status of your brain. You found something you truly enjoyed doing every day, smoking. And then you realize it is not only unhealthy, but now is barely tolerated in today's society. Easy enough to get though incredibly hard to ignore. I was ...... too!

Right now you really need to be kind to yourself. You need to understand where all these emotions are coming from and accept them as part of the process. And just do this 5 minutes at a time. If you want a smoke, wait 5 minutes, use your e-cig. If you still want one, smoke it. Then start over again. One cigarette does not have to mean failure. And telling yourself that, is again, your body giving you another reason to go back to smoking.

Don't worry about winning the war for now. Work on the battles. Before long you'll wonder why you thought it would be so hard.

Good luck!

 

[need_2quit]

I will also add that I have never found much support from others when quitting. It is even possible that some may subconciously want you to fail.

so true. alot of ppl just want to say, 'have you quit yet?' Like it's an instantaneous decision and solution. Even smokers. Some of it I think is guilt on their part, because they hope you'll fail to justify why they don't try.

I even get ppl .....ing, "you're addicted to that e-cig now". They don't get it that it's a process.

allow yourself time to digest everything that changes in your life and you'll come up with a solution that fits you.

good luck sweetie. hoping you get the 'want to' sooner than you think.

 

[Erised]

Ryle, I can so hear your frustration in your posts. I can also so understand your statement that all the health threats don't mean a dang thing -- I won't confess my age ( makes me feel too old to do so) but, I still feel the same -- no matter how old I get, someone spewing cancer statistics at me has just never made me feel the urge to gasp, roll over, and quit smoking.
You sound like you really want to do this ... So, I encourage you to find what does inspire you about e-cigs -- find out what makes them YOURS, what makes it YOUR CHOICE. You mentioned something about a promise -- maybe to you e-cigs represent your moral character, the fact that you never back down, never give in, once you have given your word-- e-cigs can be YOUR way of showing those around you just how strong you truly are.
And for those that invite you to go out and smoke -- I get that too at work, and I just go right on out with them and I vape. We still have the same discussions, still laugh ... it really is still the same.

Erised

 

[Ryle]

Eraised - Thank you! Finally someone that gets my point about the whole cancer thing without assuming I'm just a stupid kid that doesn't understand the repercussions of my actions I think your post alone made my day It's always good to feel like someone understands my POV on things, I've lived my entire life being an outsider because people just don't get my perspective. .. need_2quit.. I got something similar ont he e-cig thing yesterday from my bf... I was cussin about 2 batteries dieing inside of like 10min of eachother (the ones I'd been juggling all day) no big deal.. just mood swings over reacting to a simple issue.. and he says "well if you didn't smoke em so much they wouldn't die, you smoke those things more than you ever did real cigarettes" to which I responded by throwing it at him and calling him some fairly nasty names including telling him he "ruined my life" .. which ended up making us both laugh and makeup.. lol I'm so thankful I have an understanding bf, my ex would probably have left me the way i was acting yesterday


Calligal - I have to wonder if your parrot picked up and repeated back any part of your rampage?? sorry.. just the first thing that poped into my head, I now have a mental image of a macaw pacing back and forth in a cage ranting and raving like a pregnant woman having a bad day (the way I felt yesterday) lol I think my coworkers think I'm insane now.. just sitting here chuckling to myself

I'll check out the AZ thing right after I get done posting this might be nice to have people local (other than suppliers) that I can talk to

Laynies - my first reaction to your post was to begin to be definsive and a bit irritated.. then I saw your point.. and you're right for the most part. The reason I tell myself that 1 cig would mean failier.. is because I know me, I'll justify the first, then another, then another and so on.. that's what happened to me before.. I went 6 solid weeks without so much as 1 drag off of a cigarette, then one day I was in the car with my stepmom who chainsmokes while she drives (literally lights one off the other) and I was good as long as the car was moving, then we stopped in a drivethrough that was being unusually slow and the car started to fill with that smell, and I kept telling myself no, no, no.. 10min later we were still sitting in the drivethrough and I was like "aww .. 1 won't hurt me" ... and next hing I knew I reversed everything and went back to analog using my e-cig only when I was working! So when I decided to quit I told myself, never again, not even 1 drag off an analog (unless I'm drinking... but I rarely drink so that's not a big issue) hopefully by the next time I do drink I'll have been analog free long enough that craving won't be there.. but I'm not holding my breath for that one (pessimistic much? Who me??)

Thoough as a status update JIC anyone's wondering.. I'm only slightly more insane than I normally am today, kind of like normal PMS vs. pregnant woman lol Haven't cried or tried to kill anyone yet today so that's always good right? I really can't express how reassuring it is for me to know you guys are out there, seems like a dumb thing to say especially from me but .. maybe that's just because I'm not used to having anyone I can rely on

 

[calligal]

Calligal - I have to wonder if your parrot picked up and repeated back any part of your rampage?? sorry.. just the first thing that poped into my head, I now have a mental image of a macaw pacing back and forth in a cage ranting and raving like a pregnant woman having a bad day

Brutus is a Timneh African Grey and he will cuss up a storm but only when our vocal tones change with anger. You cannot imagine how irritating it is to already be angry and even if you haven't uttered a cuss word to have your bird go off on you. I love it when my husband and I are teasing eachother and he takes my side by laughing with me. Drives my husband nuts.

 

[Terraphon]

Laynies - my first reaction to your post was to begin to be definsive and a bit irritated.. then I saw your point.. and you're right for the most part. The reason I tell myself that 1 cig would mean failier.. is because I know me, I'll justify the first, then another, then another and so on.. that's what happened to me before.. I went 6 solid weeks without so much as 1 drag off of a cigarette, then one day I was in the car with my stepmom who chainsmokes while she drives (literally lights one off the other) and I was good as long as the car was moving, then we stopped in a drivethrough that was being unusually slow and the car started to fill with that smell, and I kept telling myself no, no, no.. 10min later we were still sitting in the drivethrough and I was like "aww .. 1 won't hurt me" ... and next hing I knew I reversed everything and went back to analog using my e-cig only when I was working! So when I decided to quit I told myself, never again, not even 1 drag off an analog (unless I'm drinking... but I rarely drink so that's not a big issue) hopefully by the next time I do drink I'll have been analog free long enough that craving won't be there.. but I'm not holding my breath for that one (pessimistic much? Who me??)

Thoough as a status update JIC anyone's wondering.. I'm only slightly more insane than I normally am today, kind of like normal PMS vs. pregnant woman lol Haven't cried or tried to kill anyone yet today so that's always good right? I really can't express how reassuring it is for me to know you guys are out there, seems like a dumb thing to say especially from me but .. maybe that's just because I'm not used to having anyone I can rely on

You've never failed until you decide to quit pursuing your goal.

1 analog...10 analogs...100 analogs...doesn't matter as long as you're still making strides toward that goal of quitting.

Keep that in mind.

 

[Ryle]

Brutus is a Timneh African Grey and he will cuss up a storm but only when our vocal tones change with anger. You cannot imagine how irritating it is to already be angry and even if you haven't uttered a cuss word to have your bird go off on you. I love it when my husband and I are teasing eachother and he takes my side by laughing with me. Drives my husband nuts.

Man.. Now I want one all I get is a 130lb rotty growling his $0.02 into the argument. Would be much more fun to have a pet that can cuss and laugh with you

 

[Ryle]

Oh and for the record, I feel like me today Yay me Now I can go back to annoying the hell out of people instead of whining like a little girl

 

[gep]

It's early in the game. Don't give up. See my signature. Took me a while to let analogs go. They were a part of my life for 36 years.

Take your time. Come here and rant and let your frustrations out. That why we're here!

 

[greyeyes]

Ryle you sound like a "kick ... and take names" woman so my suggestion to you is go ahead and go outside with your co-workers for a smoke break and take your e-cig with you. If they make fun of it tell them why you're using it and be honest i.e. your bf, your Mom, little sister, etc. and this is why you're now using this new techie vapor producing machine! Become the leader in the break time smoking circle and maybe, just maybe, some of your co-workers will want to quit smoking analogs and they'll become your followers. Then you'll have their support as well as everybody here.

Debbie