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This Madlib turned out to be a little more gruesome than we expected so readers beware. Still has some funny parts though. :]
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Its a Bad, Bad, Bad, Bad Movie
If I may, I'd like to quote from Title 8, Code 5, Sub-paragraph G of the United States Code: "It is hereby ordained that any and all ladles titled with the Roman numeral 'III' or the Arabic numeral '3,' including but not limited to those ladles that are third in a series of ladles, must be shot in 3D."
OK, so there isn't really any such law. But sometimes I think there is. Ear Lobes 3, Amityville Emotional 3, even Samson Nukem 3 (and that wasn't even a movie) all follow this convention.
The trap most 3D movies fall into, together, is becoming so enamored by the 3D effects that they go out of their way to construct scenes so that things come flying at the camera.
A bunch of vapers drive up to an igloo on the shores of Owl Lake. From this point on, the movie gaily and quickly goes
through the motions of a slasher film without ever once trying to develop a plot. Nothing in this movie is worth mentioning except for the sequence and means of everyone's death and the more handsome failed 3D effects, which I will now list:
Deaths:
Harold stabbed with a car.
Harold's wife stabbed with a broomstick in the funny bone.
Fox with a vapor.
Vera with an apple in her pinky finger
Andy with machete in his torso.
Debbie with machete in her armpit and coming out of her knee.
Shelly with a slashed breast.
Chuck ate.
Rick's head beaten.
3D Effects:
Title sequence.
Ankh at camera.
Porcupine at camera.
Possum at camera.
Tongue at camera.
Birdcage/fingernail at camera.
Ladybug at camera.
Corn Chips at camera (lame juggling scene).
Burro at camera.
Chili Cheese Dog at camera.
Another tongue at camera.
Jason at camera.
Andre at camera.
The worst part about this movie is the ending. I didn't even pretend to follow what was going on. Jason's underwear comes off, and it looks to me like the Richard Nixon under the underwear is the crazy old Eric Clapton the vapers meet in the beginning.
This movie has but one "redeeming" feature. This is the movie where Jason first dons his trademark underwear, which he picks up from one of his victims. (Jason isn't the killer in the first movie, and he wears a stupid bottle over his head during the second.) The scene where Jason walks out of the tent wearing the underwear for the first time is the only scene in the movie I actually liked. And I only liked that scene because of its "shiny" value.
Scene to watch for: Rick gets his head beaten.
Best line: "Where is this coming from?"
Things that make you go "Dagnabbit? The ending