My sincerest condolences, it's really tough losing a parent, be grateful you had that time together, it may not help much now but later it's something you can look back on...
I lost my father in my mid 30's, living half the country away, working hard to support my family, 12hrs a day 6 days a week, so calls were not as frequent as they should have been. He passed completely unexpectedly, actually with my mom and sister watching a movie at the house. Both are nurses and there was nothing they could do...
To this day I wish I could have told him that I loved him or something and wish he could have seen his granddaughters grow up, he would have been so proud...
Sorry, not sure where all that came from...
I'm so sorry. I imagine you are still grieving his loss even though it's been a while. I lost my Mom 2 years ago on October the 6th and I wasn't notified until two months after her passing. It was horrible. I felt so guilty and so heart broken. I swore I would not let that happen again. I was holding my Daddy's hands when he passed. I was sitting with him and telling him how much we all loved him and that I looked forward to when I got to see him on the other side. He knew I was with him and we were both blessed by it. It made up, some, for not being with my Mom. A little.
He was himself for a week and a half of the two weeks. We joked around and watched all his old cowboy shows together. We hadn't seen each other in years; because I was in Michigan and he was in Georgia. So, I know what you mean about that. And the phone calls were few for us as well.
When my uncle told me my Daddy had Cancer and it was untreatable, I told him I wanted to come down. I had no money for a plane ticket, but my uncles and my Daddy chipped in and bought me a ticket for one week round trip. After the first week, I knew he was fading fast and I told them I wanted to stay another week. Delta was kind enough to extend my return trip another week with absolutely no charge.
Everyone was so wonderful. It really brought my family back together and strengthened our bonds with one another. That was so important to me for so many reasons. I came back home feeling like a new person, yet I am also broken-hearted. It's a very strange combination. It will take me a long time to grieve for my Daddy. Our relationship was the best one in my life.
So, now I'm an orphan. My parents and grand-parents have all passed. I turned 45 when I found out Daddy had Cancer (Sept 4) and then he passed 13 days later. Mom passed October 6th. Daddy would have been 73 and Momma 66 in November. This will be be a hard part of the year to get through from now on, but I WILL turn to the rest of my family so we can love one another and support one another through the rough times.
It sucks... that's all there is to it. It hurts. It will take a long time to get to a point where I don't break down and cry all the time. But I do know that I was very lucky to have that time with him. So, I'm thankful for that. Truly, deeply thankful.
