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My name's Altaire, and I'm a recovering smoker (u_u)

Discussion in 'General Vaping Discussion' started by Altaire Versailles, Oct 26, 2013.

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  1. Altaire Versailles

    Altaire Versailles Super Member Verified Member ECF Veteran

    Mar 17, 2013
    Detroit MI
    I'm just gonna share this because I dont think anybody but vapers will understand and Im not telling anybody I know personally so they can talk smack about how they knew I was gonna break and hear the "ecigs dont really work, its just like a diet" crap. So anyway Ive been vaping since February 11th this year, went cold turkey and never had another cigarette since...

    Til last week...

    So I came home at like 5 in the morning completely smashed, and as Im falling up the stairs to my apartment I find a pack of Marlboro Reds that somebody dropped with like one missing. Im drunk, so I grab it. I immediately hit the patio and start smoking and sipping sake listening to Drake, yunno, not even really thinking about what Im doing.

    I have the next two days off so when Im doing work on the comp and around the house Im just smoking smoking smoking. And Im like well damn. This is familiar. Im smoking again. Im not vaping at all. When I finish this pack, I'm going straight to the corner store to grab a pack of Kool milds. I know it. But everytime I smoke a cig, I'm feeling sick. I feel a kind of rush I haven't felt since I quit, but I'm also sick to my stomach. My stomach's killing me and I feel like crapping myself everytime I smoke one. My throats killing me, my head and neck are all hot, my apartment and all my clothes smell like crap, my hands stink, and there's no flavor other than burning leaves. I'm getting headaches. My chest is tight and my breaths feel pained. I have this irritating prickly feeling all over my face. My mouth tastes disgusting. And I'm sitting there freezing my butt cheeks off with the windows and doors open, burning nagchampa trying to get the smell out and air out my coat after every square.

    So I finish the pack and a couple hours later I grab my Vamo and throw on some Twas Brillig...and as I breath in it doesn't hurt, my next breath is fuller than the last. I dont have to sit in the cold, it actually makes my apartment smell delectable. And I dont want to change clothes, take a shower and brush my teeth after.

    And I never go get that pack of Kools. I never had that liminal battle with myself at the party store counter. Hasn't even crossed my mind in a week. Until today when I put on the jacket I was wearing that night, and smelled that cigarette butt stench. Totally needs to be washed now. I've been smoking since I was 14, which is almost 20 years, and it's kind of amazing looking back and realizing that I finally beat smoking somewhere between then and now. Not that its all I can do to bring myself to say no to smoking reluctantly, I just really have no desire to now, for lots of reasons. I'm glad that I found out about vaping. Le fin.
  2. meanckz

    meanckz Ultra Member Verified Member ECF Veteran

    Supporting member
    Sep 18, 2013
    Greer, SC
    welcome to ECF, Altaire, good to have you here.
    We'll let you slide that one time :D
  3. ShariR

    ShariR Vaping Master Verified Member ECF Veteran

    Jun 13, 2013
    Nashville, TN
    Hi Altaire. I have seen you posting around here for a while. Glad you posted this. I have only been vaping for about 3 1/2 months but have spent a lot of time on ECF and reading different threads, trying to learn. What happened to you with that pack of Marlboros is a lot more common than you may think. Everyone has those moments. Usually it takes a conscious effort to act upon them. You had all the stars align at the same time. I smoked for over 45 years and now have 3 1/2 months vaping. Some times are easier than others.

    I think it is a good thing that you had this experience. You have gone back to smoking, more than just taking a couple of drags or having one cigarette at a party, and you have AGAIN chosen to vape and not smoke. You have given yourself time to know what smoking looks and feels like for you. And you have rejected it. Good for you. This is your decision and I support that.

    There are many people here posting all over the place where they will say that they have had a cigarette or a cigar occasionally. There are a number of people who vape and smoke. There are people who choose to do both and say they are not going to quit smoking. And there are those that struggle and beat themselves up for being weak and having a cigarette.

    I applaud you for starting a thread and telling others of your experience for this week. This is part of your journey. I think you have grown during this time. And I believe your experience will be helpful to others who may also take a side trip on their own journey.

    Thank you for your post. One more thing I would like to mention. If you find that you would like to talk about this more, or that you think you may be struggling with going back to smoking and weighing your options, there is a thread where a bunch of us hang out and talk about this situation and what we do about it. We are a pretty fun group. Wander over and lurk for a while before you stick your toe in the water if you want. I am inviting you to join in on the conversation. It is a safe place to explore this topic and others.

    Come check it out. Just lurk if you want.
  4. Talyon

    Talyon Vape 4 Life Verified Member ECF Veteran

    Feb 21, 2013
    Your ok bro, just human. Back on the right track. No pressure.

    Love my home town boy the Drake. I hope u wished him a Happy Birthday.
  5. DC2

    DC2 Tootie Puffer Verified Member ECF Veteran

    Jun 21, 2009
    San Diego
    Congratulations, you have snatched the pebble...

  6. freeatlast!

    freeatlast! Super Member ECF Veteran

    Oct 5, 2013
    Kansas, USA
    Awww, Altaire, it's okay. ShariR said it well. Could happen to any of us, anytime. Smoking's an addiction, after all. I hope you feel better for telling on yourself! :oops: Glad to hear you didn't go buy that new pack of cigs after all and that you're back to vaping! Hang in there!!
  7. InTheClouds

    InTheClouds Super Member Verified Member ECF Veteran

    Jun 18, 2013
    Murphy, NC, USA
    Well done Altaire! My thoughts on your experience are that maybe you needed that experience to realize you like vaping better than smoking. Who wouldn't prefer the taste of Twas Brillig from AiV more than a Marlboro. My honey and I go to a Bluegrass Jam every Thursday night, we are the only non smokers there. Coming home and our clothes smelling like smoke is all it takes to keep me away from cigarettes. I started vaping in June, never made an issue of it, I figured he would quit if and when he was ready. He could not get into the vape thing, but 3 weeks after I quit he switched to SNUS, neither one of us has looked back. I go to the jam and vape away. The journey is different for everyone, thank you for sharing yours.
  8. Myrany

    Myrany Vaping Master Verified Member ECF Veteran

    Supporting member
    Apr 14, 2013
    It hits all of us and different times. I literally never had a single craving or desire to smoke until I hit 6 months vaping. Now I have had 3 wicked bad ones in the last month. So far I have handled them with vaping a higher nic juice for a day but it is always possible a day will come when that does not work and I get real smokes.

    It IS an addiction. We need to focus on the ones we do not smoke and not the ones we do.
  9. v1k1ng1001

    v1k1ng1001 Ultra Member Verified Member ECF Veteran

    May 17, 2012
    Edinburg, TX
    So you smoked a few cigs. Don't beat yourself up. It's all good.
  10. Altaire Versailles

    Altaire Versailles Super Member Verified Member ECF Veteran

    Mar 17, 2013
    Detroit MI
    Thanks! I'm completely sure I don't want to smoke anymore. Not saying I would never given the right circumstances, but I'm definitely no longer a smoker, I'm not tempted to start smoking again, I just thought because I was smoking a whole pack that I would start again, but...didnt happen. I think if I hadnt found a perfectly good pack on the ground and been wasted already I wouldn't have even smoked in the first place. Its just that they were there. I've gone to the store several times since and havent had the thought to buy or not buy a pack. I'm not beating myself up about it but I am disappointed that I have to start my square-free day count over again lol
  11. Butters78

    Butters78 Vaping Master Verified Member ECF Veteran

    Ha I only thought it was me and my friends back in the 90's that called them squares.

    It's alrigh to slip up every now and again. As long as you come back to vaping. Just think of all the cigarettes you have avoided.
  12. degnr8

    degnr8 Ultra Member ECF Veteran

    Aug 29, 2009
    We've all been there man. After four years I still get the urge once in a while, but just the smell puts me off now most of the time. About a week ago I was down to my ego backups trying to run my A7 at 1 ohm and the lack of power was pissing me off, so I tried one. Made me want to puke after the first hit.
  13. Lutem

    Lutem Full Member

    May 17, 2013
    Been vaping since April 13th and there are still times that I smell someone smoking and I think to myself "damn that smells so good". It would be very easy to pick up the smokes again for me. Has to be a conscience effort on my part not to though, so far so good but damn I know it would be easy to relapse. As any addict says it is one day at a time.
  14. OlDogNewTricks

    OlDogNewTricks Ultra Member ECF Veteran

    Aug 21, 2013
    Venice, FL
    If I were there, I'd ask to shake your hand. Learning something life changing like that is HUGE. You rock! You can confidently look someone in the eye now and say 'I'm a non-smoker'. Feels good, try it on for size. Good luck and have fun!
  15. Altaire Versailles

    Altaire Versailles Super Member Verified Member ECF Veteran

    Mar 17, 2013
    Detroit MI
    ha, yeah it is 90's slang, some slang is timeless though...its like dope or wack, never goes out of style lol
  16. degnr8

    degnr8 Ultra Member ECF Veteran

    Aug 29, 2009
    Actually, square was making a resurgence in the 90s. I've read it in books from the 50s
  17. Butters78

    Butters78 Vaping Master Verified Member ECF Veteran

    True! We used to call our bicycles whips as well lol.
  18. angstless

    angstless Super Member ECF Veteran

    Oct 18, 2013
    I'm in Detroit also...I HAD to stop smoking due to bronchitis..but there is not a smokers forum that even exists, much less as supportive as folks here fact one vaper came to my home and dropped of juice cause mine was caught up in the post office...

    I love this site...and all the people here
  19. BigCatDaddy

    BigCatDaddy Ultra Member Verified Member ECF Veteran

    Sep 29, 2013
    Near Austin, Texas
    Heck, we were calling 'em squares back in the '60's. "Spare square, dude??"
  20. alisa1970

    alisa1970 Vaping Master ECF Veteran

    Mar 30, 2013
    Portland, OR
    See, this is why vaping is so incredible...I've had a a couple of smoking "episodes" since I started vaping 6 months ago (adds up to about 2 packs), and each time I decided to "get back on the wagon" it was relatively easy to just pick up the vaping again and not look back.

    If I were in a situation where I had to just not smoke and had no vaping alternative, a few cigarettes would easily bring me back to my pack a day habit. I know without a doubt that gum or patches just wouldn't cut it.

    Good for you--I'm glad you had this experience!
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