I'm just gonna share this because I dont think anybody but vapers will understand and Im not telling anybody I know personally so they can talk smack about how they knew I was gonna break and hear the "ecigs dont really work, its just like a diet" crap. So anyway Ive been vaping since February 11th this year, went cold turkey and never had another cigarette since...
Til last week...
So I came home at like 5 in the morning completely smashed, and as Im falling up the stairs to my apartment I find a pack of Marlboro Reds that somebody dropped with like one missing. Im drunk, so I grab it. I immediately hit the patio and start smoking and sipping sake listening to Drake, yunno, not even really thinking about what Im doing.
I have the next two days off so when Im doing work on the comp and around the house Im just smoking smoking smoking. And Im like well damn. This is familiar. Im smoking again. Im not vaping at all. When I finish this pack, I'm going straight to the corner store to grab a pack of Kool milds. I know it. But everytime I smoke a cig, I'm feeling sick. I feel a kind of rush I haven't felt since I quit, but I'm also sick to my stomach. My stomach's killing me and I feel like crapping myself everytime I smoke one. My throats killing me, my head and neck are all hot, my apartment and all my clothes smell like crap, my hands stink, and there's no flavor other than burning leaves. I'm getting headaches. My chest is tight and my breaths feel pained. I have this irritating prickly feeling all over my face. My mouth tastes disgusting. And I'm sitting there freezing my .... cheeks off with the windows and doors open, burning nagchampa trying to get the smell out and air out my coat after every square.
So I finish the pack and a couple hours later I grab my Vamo and throw on some Twas Brillig...and as I breath in it doesn't hurt, my next breath is fuller than the last. I dont have to sit in the cold, it actually makes my apartment smell delectable. And I dont want to change clothes, take a shower and brush my teeth after.
And I never go get that pack of Kools. I never had that liminal battle with myself at the party store counter. Hasn't even crossed my mind in a week. Until today when I put on the jacket I was wearing that night, and smelled that cigarette .... stench. Totally needs to be washed now. I've been smoking since I was 14, which is almost 20 years, and it's kind of amazing looking back and realizing that I finally beat smoking somewhere between then and now. Not that its all I can do to bring myself to say no to smoking reluctantly, I just really have no desire to now, for lots of reasons. I'm glad that I found out about vaping. Le fin.
Til last week...
So I came home at like 5 in the morning completely smashed, and as Im falling up the stairs to my apartment I find a pack of Marlboro Reds that somebody dropped with like one missing. Im drunk, so I grab it. I immediately hit the patio and start smoking and sipping sake listening to Drake, yunno, not even really thinking about what Im doing.
I have the next two days off so when Im doing work on the comp and around the house Im just smoking smoking smoking. And Im like well damn. This is familiar. Im smoking again. Im not vaping at all. When I finish this pack, I'm going straight to the corner store to grab a pack of Kool milds. I know it. But everytime I smoke a cig, I'm feeling sick. I feel a kind of rush I haven't felt since I quit, but I'm also sick to my stomach. My stomach's killing me and I feel like crapping myself everytime I smoke one. My throats killing me, my head and neck are all hot, my apartment and all my clothes smell like crap, my hands stink, and there's no flavor other than burning leaves. I'm getting headaches. My chest is tight and my breaths feel pained. I have this irritating prickly feeling all over my face. My mouth tastes disgusting. And I'm sitting there freezing my .... cheeks off with the windows and doors open, burning nagchampa trying to get the smell out and air out my coat after every square.
So I finish the pack and a couple hours later I grab my Vamo and throw on some Twas Brillig...and as I breath in it doesn't hurt, my next breath is fuller than the last. I dont have to sit in the cold, it actually makes my apartment smell delectable. And I dont want to change clothes, take a shower and brush my teeth after.
And I never go get that pack of Kools. I never had that liminal battle with myself at the party store counter. Hasn't even crossed my mind in a week. Until today when I put on the jacket I was wearing that night, and smelled that cigarette .... stench. Totally needs to be washed now. I've been smoking since I was 14, which is almost 20 years, and it's kind of amazing looking back and realizing that I finally beat smoking somewhere between then and now. Not that its all I can do to bring myself to say no to smoking reluctantly, I just really have no desire to now, for lots of reasons. I'm glad that I found out about vaping. Le fin.
