Good morning everyone.
My name is Nicole and I have a history as a secret smoker.
My husband smoked when I met him a little more than seven years ago. I had smoked when I was a teenager, but only for a short time. When I got married, I started smoking because my husband smoked. I can't even tell you how many times we quit/started up again. We used patches, inhalers, Chantix, cold turkey...it always ended up with us starting up again. More often than not, during those times when we were supposed to be quit, I was smoking behind my husband's back. I felt terrible about this, and as a born again Christian, I felt extremely guilty not only for the smoking (which was not honoring God with my body) but also for lying to my husband and my kids about what I was doing.
I went to great extremes just to get in a few cigarettes when I was by myself. I would carry perfumes and sprays with me. I would wear thick hooded sweatshirts in 80 degree weather. It was ridiculous. I became a master at covering up the smell, and I never got caught.
This past February, we decided to "quit" again, and I started smoking in secret again. It wasn't too hard, since my hubby worked (I work from home) and the kids were in school all day. I would just take a shower before everyone came home, and no one was ever the wiser. Still, I felt the Holy Spirit telling me that what I was doing was wrong. Even so, I just felt like the addiction had a hold on me. When we "quit" in February, I was supposed to have been using an e-cig. I still used it when I couldn't smoke, but I wasn't using it entirely.
One day, at the end of March, I had been praying and asking God to help me. I asked him to take the desire away from me. It was a Friday morning when I woke up and bought a new pack of cigarettes when everyone had left for the day. I smoked about five of them, and then I just got angry at myself, and angry the cigs. I threw them out and vowed that I was not going to continue in that addiction. I stared using the e-cig exclusively, and a few days later I talked to my husband and asked him if I could buy a better one. I told him that I didn't want to return to a life of secret smoking and I felt that this was the only way to break that cycle. He agreed, and I bought an eGo at the local B&M.
A few days later, he decided to buy one for himself, even though he'd been quit since the beginning of February. I knew it would probably only be a matter of time before he started smoking again because he'd mentioned wanting to buy cigarettes a few times.
I write this long post to let you know why I appreciate vaping so much. I've been free (truly FREE) since the end of March. It's been the only thing that's worked for me, and I'm so thankful that God allowed me to see how effective this could be.
