Hello All ECF members.
This has been a long time coming. I am a 41 years old female and have been smoking for 25 years at 2 packs a day. I have tried everything under the sun to stop this habit. I really need to quit. I am the mother of three beautiful children, youngest is 11. I get Bronchitis every winter and have had phemonia 4 times with being in the hospital for a week evry time. This is not to even mention the money that I spend on this habit. I get the dirtiest looks known to man, I smell like an ashtray. I look older than I am, and I am out of breathe easily, and cough as a constant some days. No asthma and no doctor telling me I have to quit, as a matter of fact I have been told my lungs sound and look good. I however am sick and tired of this lifestyle. Thing is I am so totally addicted to smoking. I enjoy how it makes me feel inside. I feel so in control and calm. I bought 3 safe ciggs and the refills etc about two months ago.
This morning I woke up and said enough. I have been vaping almost constant. I do feel itchy to have the real deal, but I won't let myself do that. I am a all in or all out kind of person. God let me make this. Let me find a way to end this once and for all. I am not looking to get off the nicotine, doctor says that part is actually okay for me. I know it seems so weak to say this, but I am scared. Scared of failure, scared of success ( am I going to be happy without smokes?) I am so grateful this forum exists! Maybe just maybe I can make it. All I am worried about is today. Thanks For Listening
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This morning I woke up and said enough. I have been vaping almost constant. I do feel itchy to have the real deal, but I won't let myself do that. I am a all in or all out kind of person. God let me make this. Let me find a way to end this once and for all. I am not looking to get off the nicotine, doctor says that part is actually okay for me. I know it seems so weak to say this, but I am scared. Scared of failure, scared of success ( am I going to be happy without smokes?) I am so grateful this forum exists! Maybe just maybe I can make it. All I am worried about is today. Thanks For Listening