Never hiccup while vaping!
How long do you have to work at KFC before they make you a colonel?
And toss the box at the top of the closet, and wipe out most of the history from the iphone and cancel the multiple pron subscriptions for internetChatWithBabes.. I think part of a best friends job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die.
Freak out your neighbors. Name your wifi "FBI Surveillance Van".