Oh the Horror! Another Explode Episode!

[USMCotaku]

For simplicity sake, let's say the child leaves at 18. Of course the government wants them to remain children until they are 40 now for some reason.

Back to example.. 18 years at 365 days in a year equals 6,570 days. An infant is generally termed as 1 month through 1 year. 1/18th if you cater to the infants whims through a year. That will be 1/18th of the child's life until 18. or 365 days out of 6,570. Let's assume that same child lives until 80. That will be 1/80th of the life or 365 days out of 29,200.

Racehorse stated 5 days. 5 days out of 6,570 or .0676% of its 18 years.

I seriously doubt that would spoil the child.

Better yet maybe we should ask the experts.. Wonder what Dr. Oz would say.

Then you have zero understanding of development, sorry to say.

Sent with one hand, the other is busy vaping

 

[YoursTruli]

There is actually strong precedent for NOT picking up an infant every time it cries. This is PROVEN to "spoil" the child, they learn to cry just for the attention quickly.
Of course you check it to make sure it's ok, but he is completely right, you don't cater to it 100%
You are trying to vilify his statement into ignoring an infant's actual needs...something he NEVER said.

Sent with one hand, the other is busy vaping

Yet research shows it is impossible to "spoil" an infant and experts agree this is an outdated myth from a different era. Research shows that infants whose parents respond quicker to their needs, including their cries, are happier and more independent by their first birthday. They learn to trust that you'll be there when they need you.

 

[bluecat]

Then you have zero understanding of development, sorry to say.

Sent with one hand, the other is busy vaping

Not really, about the same zero understanding as telling the infant to go get their own shampoo and towel for fear of coddling them.

But you are free to disagree.

You don't have to pick your 5 day old child up when they are crying if you don;t want. Forgive me because I fully messed up my child's development process by picking them up when they were 5 days old. Actually, I am pretty proud of them.

Now breastfeeding at age 6.. yeah I'll go with you on that.

 

[BigGOOSE]

All of a sudden there's a bunch of pediatricians in this forum.


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[anavidfan]

Yet research shows it is impossible to "spoil" an infant and experts agree this is an outdated myth from a different era. Research shows that infants whose parents respond quicker to their needs, including their cries, are happier and more independent by their first birthday. They learn to trust that you'll be there when they need you.

I guess Im a "bad" parent because I spoiled them with attention and affection.

 

[Atchafalaya]

I guess Im a "bad" parent because I spoiled them with attention and affection.

Guess I am too

 

[crxess]

Glad mine are Grown.
to late for any child raising education here.

They all love us and 3 visit us when they can............The 4th and his family seem to like living here.

 

[wheelie]

WOW 11 pages of raising babies. Keep waiting on our smiley one hour time clock. Clock must be broken. LOL

 

[AXIOM_1]

I am still a child --- so I still get spoiled

 

[HazyShades]

ROFL! I used to have a real bad habit of throwing things... whatever glass or mug was in my hand at the time. I got tired of having to replace glassware and mugs (one of the mugs I broke was my favorite tea mug! horrors!) so I stopped doing it.

And that last incident, in 2004, when I got to visit the inside of the Winder jail... That one pretty much fixed any inclination to get physical, when angry. Now I just slam doors.

Andria

Yea, the inside of a jailcell will cause you to reconsider some inclinations..
In all honesty, while I don't throw things or even slam doors anymore
(messes up the hinge screwholes -needs repair) I do pick dishes out of the sink
and drop them casually on the floor on those rare moments when I need to emphasize
that I'm no longer fooling around...
No anger, no violence, no screaming and yelling.
Just a poker face with a slight smile and...drop.

 

[AndriaD]

Yea, the inside of a jailcell will cause you to reconsider some inclinations..
In all honesty, while I don't throw things or even slam doors anymore
(messes up the hinge screwholes -needs repair) I do pick dishes out of the sink
and drop them casually on the floor on those rare moments when I need to emphasize
that I'm no longer fooling around...
No anger, no violence, no screaming and yelling.
Just a poker face with a slight smile and...drop.

Doors won't slam for crap in my house, except the front door, and it's got such beautiful glasswork, I wouldn't DARE slam it. The first day when we started moving in, and the reality hit me, WE'RE HOMEOWNERS!, the best was when I realized that that beautitful front door is NOW MINE!

I think since menopause finally occurred, most of my tempers have also grown cold; that's maybe the very best thing about menopause, no more monthly hormonal insanity! When I think of how I used to be, it just makes me TIRED.

Andria

 

[rurwin]

He's rarely ever sick himself, so he just doesn't really get it, when I'm under the weather -- he kinda panics, I think, it's so unfamiliar to him, so any sort of conscious thought about what is happening just kinda goes out the window, and he awaits instructions. "Nurturing" really isn't his forte -- which is ok, if I can just manage to ask for what I need.

But when I was so sick last summer, unable to even get out of bed for any reason other than bathroom trips, he was handling all the kitchen stuff -- his meals, and cleaning up afterward -- and I didn't even realize it until I WAS able to get out of bed and stagger in here to my desk chair. He was washing dishes at the time -- I said "what are you doing?" He said "cleaning up... I've been doing it for 4 days." I was just pleased that he was able to cope with THAT much, while I was down for the count.

Andria

There's a thing our brains do when we think they're being empathetic. Our model of other people is based a little bit on what we know about them, but the rest, and maybe the majority, is filled in with our own personality. That's where projection comes from and why disinformation problems are so revealing.

<flame-proof underware selected>
Now men and women operate differently. For several million years it was generally the man's job to go out and hunt and generally the woman's job to stay at home and gather plant--stuff. (Some of the native American tribes seem to have allowed gender-swapped roles, but even then they were exceptions.) Staying at home means working in a group that is usually safe. Most of the work is in networking within the group; creating relationships with the other members and so helping each other out. Helping each other without being asked becomes a way of cementing relationships. If the tribe is attacked then everyone stands together and the person who you helped yesterday will stand beside you today. However hunting is a solo or team activity. Each person in the team has a job and they have to do that job perfectly or someone could get hurt. A man learns to know his abilities and his limits. He knows when to ask for help and when not to; it is literally a matter of life and death that he gets it right and his position in the hunting party is largely determined by how accurately he can estimate risk. If he does not ask for help then the other members of his tribe will trust him to do the job. Giving him unasked-for help is telling him that he is incapable of making that distinction and incapable of doing that job. It demeans him.

That was the situation until about 10,000 years ago; the time since then is less than 1% of the time there has been a human race.
Now we have a tribe of two people who have the same set of responsibilities. One person expects and gives help without being asked and the other only gives or expects help when explicitly requested. Both of them are projecting their behaviour on the other. It is surprising it works at all.

Give us a million years and we might get it sorted out.

 

[USMCotaku]

All of a sudden there's a bunch of pediatricians in this forum.


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Pediatricians?
When did that come into play? [emoji14]

Sent with one hand, the other is busy vaping

 

[HazyShades]

Pediatricians?
When did that come into play? [emoji14]

Sent with one hand, the other is busy vaping

Oh...I thought we were talking about podiatrists...my bad

 

[USMCotaku]

I would take these newer studies with a grain of salt. Imo, look at the generations that have the more well rounded functioning population, and look at what they were doing, it's probably the better method [emoji14]

Sent with one hand, the other is busy vaping

 

[AndriaD]

I would take these newer studies with a grain of salt. Imo, look at the generations that have the more well rounded functioning population, and look at what they were doing, it's probably the better method [emoji14]

Sent with one hand, the other is busy vaping

I'd have to disagree. I don't think you can "spoil" a child with love and attention, but you sure can, with neglect. Just giving a child all the attention he/she needs is not the same as giving way in every contest of wills -- the parent does have to be in charge. But giving all the love and attention necessary is how you raise a secure, confident child.

Andria

 

[beckdg]

For simplicity sake, let's say the child leaves at 18. Of course the government wants them to remain children until they are 40 now for some reason.

Back to example.. 18 years at 365 days in a year equals 6,570 days. An infant is generally termed as 1 month through 1 year. 1/18th if you cater to the infants whims through a year. That will be 1/18th of the child's life until 18. or 365 days out of 6,570. Let's assume that same child lives until 80. That will be 1/80th of the life or 365 days out of 29,200.

Racehorse stated 5 days. 5 days out of 6,570 or .0676% of its 18 years.

I seriously doubt that would spoil the child.

Better yet maybe we should ask the experts.. Wonder what Dr. Oz would say.

Eff dr oz

I have an example of what you're proposing.

Spoiling him stopped before age 2.

He's 11 and it's still an uphill battle undoing it.

I constantly bleed through my heart of what he's missed dedicating time and effort to repairing that.

Reference the video of my reading 3 yr old who's now learning multiplication and cleans up after himself.

I learned from my mistakes.

Tapatyped

 

[Ryedan]

Wow this thread has gone on way longer than the actual argument.

Thanks for you kind, and not so kind words, I opened the door so will take it without further complaint.

I fully accept I handled this situation badly, as did my wife.

We are now very much over it. The baby is fine, and very much loved by both parents.

The KFv4 remains dead.

Good to hear all is well Caterpiller

It still amazes me that a thread can get this messed up, but it is amusing to read these once in a while on slow days on ECF

 

[Bunnykiller]

I watched my sister raise her kid... it was pure hell... he has ADHD ADD and a few other 3 letter discrepencies .... she tried her best but it still wasnt enuf to produce a kid with "average" behavior.... why do most people just automatically assume other peoples kids are "normal" and there should be no reason why parents fail raising the kids into a "normal societal" situation?

 

[beckdg]

I watched my sister raise her kid... it was pure hell... he has ADHD ADD and a few other 3 letter discrepencies .... she tried her best but it still wasnt enuf to produce a kid with "average" behavior.... why do most people just automatically assume other peoples kids are "normal" and there should be no reason why parents fail raising the kids into a "normal societal" situation?

Mine aren't normal.

Genetics won't allow it.

Tapatyped