Q2v3 giveaway!!!

[toto1013]

#1

Three men are in a hot-air balloon. Soon, they find themselves lost in a canyon somewhere. One of the three men says, "I've got an idea. We can call for help in this canyon and the echo will carry our voices far."

So he leans over the basket and yells out, "Helllloooooo! Where are we?" (They hear the echo several times.)

15 minutes later, they hear this echoing voice: "Helllloooooo! You're lost!!"

One of the men says, "That must have been a mathematician."

Puzzled, one of the other men asks, "Why do you say that?"

The reply: "For three reasons. (1) he took a long time to answer, (2) he was absolutely correct, and (3) his answer was absolutely useless."

 

[spacekitty]

#1 for Monday

Q: What's the difference between a mathematician and an experimentalist?
A: A mathematician thinks that two points are enough to define a straight line, while an experimentalist wants more data.

 

[toto1013]

#2

Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson went on a camping trip. After a good meal and a bottle of wine, they set up their tent and drifted off to sleep. Some hours later, Holmes awoke and nudged his faithful friend. "Watson, look up and tell me what you see."

Watson replied, "I see millions and millions of stars."

"What does that tell you?"

Watson pondered for a minute. "Astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Horologically, I deduce that the time is approximately a quarter past three. Theologically, I can see that God is all powerful and that we are small and insignificant. Meteorologically, I suspect that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. Why, what does it tell YOU?"

Holmes was silent for a minute, and then spoke. "Watson, it tells me that someone has stolen our tent!”

 

[Tuck]

Have you heard about the new restaurant on the moon?

The food is good, but there's just no atmosphere.

 

[Tuck]

What does the little mermaid wear?
An Algebra

 

[spacekitty]

#2 for Monday...

It is estimated that 3.71 X 10^10 "first-star-tonight" wishes have been wasted on Venus!!

 

[RippleInStillWater]

Entry for tuesday..........

A newlywed husband is discouraged by his wife's obsession with mathematics. Afraid of being second fiddle to her profession, he finally confronts her: "Do you love math more than me?"
"Of course not, dear - I love you much more!"
Happy, although sceptical, he challenges her: "Well, then prove it!"
Pondering a bit, she responds: "Ok... Let epsilon be greater than zero..."

 

[basementcat]

A woman in a bar tries to pick up a mathematician."How old, do you think, am I?" she asks coyly."Well - 18 by that fire in your eyes, 19 by that glow on your cheeks, 20 by that radiance of your face, and adding that up is something you can probably do for yourself..."

 

[kelleymcm]

 

[kelleymcm]

 

[Desert Willow]

Happy Birthday!

When NASA was preparing for the Apollo project, they did some astronaut training on a Navajo Indian reservation. One day, a Navajo elder and his son were herding sheep and came across the space crew.
The old man, who only spoke Navajo, asked a question, which the son translated: "What are the guys in the big suits doing?" A member of the crew said they were practicing for their trip to the moon.
The old man got really excited and asked if he could send a message to the moon with the astronauts.
Recognizing a promotional opportunity for the spin-doctors, the NASA folks found a tape recorder.
After the old man recorded his message, they asked the son to translate. He refused.
So the NASA reps brought the tape to the reservation, where the rest of the tribe listened and laughed, but refused to translate the elder's message to the moon.
Finally, NASA called a official government translator.
He reported that the moon message said: "Watch out for these guys; they've come to steal your land."

 

[Desert Willow]

#2

Did you hear NASA wanted to study the effects of the moon on an aging individual, so they decided to resend Armstrong. Unfortunately, they canceled this because they were afraid the first words from the moon in 30 years would be:

"Houston? I have fallen, and I can't get up."

 

[AutumnWolf]

Tuesday's first entry....

View attachment 106194

 

[lettucehead]

6/5
Entry 1

Why did the math book look so sad?

Because it had so many problems!


Happy birthday!!! (Hope there are no problems for you!)

 

[lettucehead]

6/5
#2

What tool do you use in math?

Multi-plyers!


And a final Happpppy Birthdaaaayy!!!

 

[thehangdude]

Let me see if I can remember this one.

Let a = b.
a² = ab
a² + a² = a² + ab
2a² = a² + ab
2a² - 2ab = a² + ab - 2ab
2a² - 2ab = a² - ab
2(a² - ab) = 1(a² - ab)
2 = 1

See if you can tell where I messed up, but don't tell.

 

[Lorizgal]

Teacher: what's 2k + k ?
Student: 3000!

 

[thehangdude]

My sister is a big math junkie, and has a site named Let's Play Math!.

So although this is not a "joke", it is interesting, and explains Einstein's Theory of Relativity in its simplicity.

 

[basementcat]

 

[RippleInStillWater]

There is a theory which states that if ever anyone discovers exactly what the Universe is for and why it is here, it will instantly disappear and be replaced by something even more bizarre and inexplicable. There is another theory which states that this has already happened.

From the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy.