(Warning: This seemed amusing to me with 2 hours of sleep, your experience may vary.)
Good morning all. Has anyone else read about the latest FDA outrage? I dont have any links or anything, but Im sure this story will be breaking into the main stream media any day now!!
FDAs Newest Attempt to Ban Worlds Oldest Threat
By: Al Oadavitz
The FDA today announced a press release detailing their latest plan to protect Americans from harm, they intend to outlaw fire. When asked if this would mean all fire, a spokesperson for the FDA stated that new regulations would be mainly directed at open flame.
After much careful review and study, we determined that open flame provides a great risk to human health, stated FDA spokesperson P.C. Toomuch. Open flame has historically been a leading cause of death among humanity. It can be used to burn such items as tobacco and ......... and so we feel that it falls under our jurisdiction as a drug-delivery device. Additionally, the bright colors of open flame have been proven to attract children.
When asked if the FDA felt that fire used to burn something other than tobacco or ......... should be included in this ban, the FDA spokesperson pointed the other way, yelled Look is that Elvis? and ran away.
Although a backlash of common sense is expected, the ban is already finding widespread support on the internet. A selection of replies follows:
DEADRRELATIVE wrote:
MY GREAT-GREAT-GREAT GRANDFATHER DIED FROM 3RD DEGRREE BURNS AFTER FAILLNG INTO A CAMPFIRE ONE NIGHT IN ADRUNKEN STUPOR! IF ON,LY THE FDA HAD ACTED ACTED SOOONER HE MIGHT STILL BE ALIVE TODAY!!!!
TRUSTMEIMANEXPERT wrote:
As a firefighter with 112 years experience, I support the FDAs decision on this and have to say its about time.
BLAMETHECAUSENOTTHE PROBLEM wrote:
Mankind has been so callous and refuses to understand the damage fire has caused over the years. Just look at all the people burned at the stake aas witches by fire!!! The new FDA regulations will prevent such atrocities from ever happening again!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Good morning all. Has anyone else read about the latest FDA outrage? I dont have any links or anything, but Im sure this story will be breaking into the main stream media any day now!!
FDAs Newest Attempt to Ban Worlds Oldest Threat
By: Al Oadavitz
The FDA today announced a press release detailing their latest plan to protect Americans from harm, they intend to outlaw fire. When asked if this would mean all fire, a spokesperson for the FDA stated that new regulations would be mainly directed at open flame.
After much careful review and study, we determined that open flame provides a great risk to human health, stated FDA spokesperson P.C. Toomuch. Open flame has historically been a leading cause of death among humanity. It can be used to burn such items as tobacco and ......... and so we feel that it falls under our jurisdiction as a drug-delivery device. Additionally, the bright colors of open flame have been proven to attract children.
When asked if the FDA felt that fire used to burn something other than tobacco or ......... should be included in this ban, the FDA spokesperson pointed the other way, yelled Look is that Elvis? and ran away.
Although a backlash of common sense is expected, the ban is already finding widespread support on the internet. A selection of replies follows:
DEADRRELATIVE wrote:
MY GREAT-GREAT-GREAT GRANDFATHER DIED FROM 3RD DEGRREE BURNS AFTER FAILLNG INTO A CAMPFIRE ONE NIGHT IN ADRUNKEN STUPOR! IF ON,LY THE FDA HAD ACTED ACTED SOOONER HE MIGHT STILL BE ALIVE TODAY!!!!
TRUSTMEIMANEXPERT wrote:
As a firefighter with 112 years experience, I support the FDAs decision on this and have to say its about time.
BLAMETHECAUSENOTTHE PROBLEM wrote:
Mankind has been so callous and refuses to understand the damage fire has caused over the years. Just look at all the people burned at the stake aas witches by fire!!! The new FDA regulations will prevent such atrocities from ever happening again!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
