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The World According to Stretchpants-A compilation by FV

Discussion in 'Copper Creek' started by FlyingV, Jul 2, 2013.

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  1. FlyingV

    FlyingV ECF Guru Verified Member ECF Veteran

    Supporting member
    Just so we can all giggle again at some of Stretchy's funniest posts, I am going to try to compile them here. Please feel free to add to it. :D
     
  2. stretchpants

    stretchpants ECF Guru Verified Member ECF Veteran

    Last night I had the weirdest dream.
    I dreamed that I went to a restaurant looking for a job.The man from "Say Yes To The Dress" was the HR.I got the job. (YAY)
    While looking around the restaurant after the interview.I spy this beautiful (at least I thought so in my dream) oil painting hanging on the wall for sale.
    I had to have it.(this was a living color dream) I whipped out my Amex and paid for it.When putting it in the car. I noticed the slip said $2,000. What? I thought it was $200.00.I went back into the restaurant and told them I changed my mind.They wouldn't take it back. I'm like what? So I spent the next few moments of that dream hiding it from my husband.
    Is this what they call a whore post?I'll have to repost it on the Whore Post Page.
     
  3. stretchpants

    stretchpants ECF Guru Verified Member ECF Veteran

    Gatlinburg has real bears.Don't book it for winter it's like climbing Mt. Everest.We'd be better off in Wisconsin except no one but FV lives in Wi. I know because I passed thru there once.There was like a white farmhouse then 25 miles away there was another white farmhouse.I thought we were going in circles.It must be a rule there.Everyone lives in white farmhouses at least 25 miles from one another.There are the Wi Dells.I thought it was a baseball team.Still not sure what it really is.They also have like these things on the freeway on ramp.It's a traffic light so you have to wait until it turns green before proceeding to merge. I don't know why.There is no traffic there unless you run into one of the farmers from the white farmhouses and you can see them coming from 25 miles away.
     
  4. stretchpants

    stretchpants ECF Guru Verified Member ECF Veteran

    FV you sound like my husband.He always eats lunch at the gas station.There's no need to do that here.We actually have restaurants.Sometimes I make him lunch.I think the last time was February of 2003.I can even remember what I made...
    ...no I can't...
     
  5. FlyingV
    This message by FlyingV has been removed from public view. Deleted by a moderator, Jul 2, 2013, Reason: double post.
    Jul 2, 2013
  6. stretchpants

    stretchpants ECF Guru Verified Member ECF Veteran

    I'm here!! But I have to be off soon for my hang gliding class.
     
  7. stretchpants

    stretchpants ECF Guru Verified Member ECF Veteran

    Sorry. I was just kidding.I meant Parasailing. Yes...that's it Parasailing. I'm off to Parasailing class.
    RU really taking flying lessons????Keep this in mind. If your using the feather and wax method.DO NOT..I repeat DO NOT...fly close to the Sun.Apparently the sun has a devastating effect on wax. Also try and use BEESWAX. Paraffin Wax is petroleum based and is not good for the earth.

     
  8. stretchpants

    stretchpants ECF Guru Verified Member ECF Veteran

    Channeling Frank Sinatra singing "Come Fly With me"
    He would have a better chance of me getting into a plane.If you're going to get flying lessons I am going to fulfill my life long dream of learning how to play a Banjo. I always wanted to be a part of a Bluegrass band on stage at The Grand Ol Oprey battling Earl Scruggs in Dueling Banjos..
    Watch these kids

    [video]http://youtu.be/GXcRI0BdioE[/video]


     
  9. stretchpants

    stretchpants ECF Guru Verified Member ECF Veteran

    I am your host Rod (they call me Stretchpants) Serling.

     
  10. stretchpants

    stretchpants ECF Guru Verified Member ECF Veteran

    I could totally get into carving pumpkins.Those patterns are the best!
    We don't carve pumpkins at our house.Well, except for the one I saved from last year. We actually carve soap.We could never afford a pumpkin but living next to Proctor and Gamble we always had Ivory Soap and as you all know Ivory soap floats so we would carve the soap into ghosts and Platypus's and bust's of Jimmy Hoffa sometimes President Eisenhower.You know celebrity types and float them in the bath tub topped with birthday candles to light them up.
    Ivory soap also melts.By the end of Halloween trick or treating we would just unplug the drain and down the pipes they would go.Simple Easy no mess and our kids didn't know the difference..

     
  11. stretchpants

    stretchpants ECF Guru Verified Member ECF Veteran

    I'm OCD too. I have this handwashing thing...Seriously.I wash my hands so much in the winter I have to have a skin transplant by April.

     
  12. stretchpants

    stretchpants ECF Guru Verified Member ECF Veteran

    What a Fabulous night you had.You even won a little money. Enough to buy some juice and maybe a drip tip too!
    I put my "Jason" mask on and cleaned out cat fur from underneath the fridge.Nothing unusual really. I always wear a "Jason"mask to clean cat hair from underneath the fridge.I sometimes wear it when I clean the shower floor too.


     
  13. stretchpants

    stretchpants ECF Guru Verified Member ECF Veteran

    Nothing unusual to be confused when I post.
    Translation;Szvlet Mosul Ingencorp Das Strasse un Kamasmida Jonah.
    That should clear it up.


     
  14. stretchpants

    stretchpants ECF Guru Verified Member ECF Veteran

    I have some great Cocobolo that I won.I bought them because I like using the word cocobolo.I have them on my table and when guests or burglers come over they always ask "What kind of wood is that"? I tell them "Cocobolo"
    It's the only way I can use cocobolo on a daily basis..

     
  15. stretchpants

    stretchpants ECF Guru Verified Member ECF Veteran

    I'm the same way Bliss. I get so jumbled when I'm trying to do research.I wanted to buy a Ford F150 one time and ended up with a small aircraft.It barely fits in the garage..My husband is apoplectic (among other things) I had hoped he wouldn't have noticed but his name is Sherlock Holmes.(really that's his name) and he tries so very hard to live up to it.There was no way to hide the aircraft.I think it's the left wing that pokes out of the garage window that drew his attention.Either way the moral of the story here is take your time,ask lots of questions, and don't get rattled or you too could end up with a mach 10 spitfire in your garage.....

     
  16. stretchpants

    stretchpants ECF Guru Verified Member ECF Veteran

    I'm planning on skinny dipping in the chocolate fountain on Thanksgiving...Just something to do other than eating turkey.

     
  17. stretchpants

    stretchpants ECF Guru Verified Member ECF Veteran

    Nobody would ever want to see me skinny dipping in anything much less a chocolate fountain at Golden Corral on Thanksgiving Day.
    Back in the day (Which was a Wednesday by the way) I could hold my own skinny dipping because I was just that. Skinny.Now all I have is Fat Tuesday to look forward to.
     
  18. stretchpants

    stretchpants ECF Guru Verified Member ECF Veteran

    I'm coming too if we can eat at Culvers.We have to decide which white farmhouse in Wisconsin is hers. Not to fear.There only about 100 people that live in Wisconsin.The problem is they live 25 miles a part.Anyone need cheese while we are there?

     
  19. stretchpants

    stretchpants ECF Guru Verified Member ECF Veteran

    I'm sorry. I slipped into unconsciousness.I do that every so often when I watch reruns of "The Love Boat"
     
  20. stretchpants

    stretchpants ECF Guru Verified Member ECF Veteran

    I really crave everything pumpkin this time of year.Muffins,pies,candles,pumpkins on a stick,pumpkin infused pot roast,pumpkin fries,pumpkin shake,raw pumpkin,pumpkin under glass. I just love it.
     
  21. stretchpants

    stretchpants ECF Guru Verified Member ECF Veteran

    It would be a good vape all year round.I plan on selling my 12 pairs of gold Lame' stretchpants to buy a vat of it in case she decides to go all holiday on us.

     
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