The World According to Stretchpants-A compilation by FV

[stretchpants]

Good Morning.It actually is morning. I got up too early.
Going to clean out my closet as soon as I can talk myself into it.It's like the closet in Poltergeist. I have no clue as to what's in there.I know there are lots of shoes.Why is it that women like shoes? I love shoes and drip tips and pie...

 

[stretchpants]

Is it some kind of regional thing that you smoke meat the week before Thanksgiving?If so I'm glad it's not in my region..I tried smoking meat once and the end wouldn't stay lit.I used a box of matches before I gave up....back to the closet.

 

[stretchpants]

We'll be there. Around 2 ish. We like to sit close to the window. I'll be wearing my Gold Lame' stretchpants with turkeys on my azz.Good Times...

Sonny called me today to tell me that he and the Mrs will be here Thursday morning. WHAT???? I have no turkey. Um, I thought you weren't coming? That sounds bad, but that is what I said. Due to lack of proper notice, we will be going out to eat. Wonder if we'll see Stretchy in the chocolate fountain?

 

[stretchpants]

Is Bryani food or a small child?

Oh, I don't like where I put it all again. Made it look smaller! Dinner break, let me heat up some Bryani and I will be back again.

 

[stretchpants]

O.K. I guess I can wait...If I have to...but you...well o.k. dang it....I'll just go scuba diving for a couple of hours.I'll check back in afterwards.

LMAO Stretchy. I think you are guessing just a little bit high. I have to finish today's work before I can get to them.

We need to find someone to make the "mini-jug tank" for you. Just for your hubby to see.

 

[stretchpants]

Dammit I now have to sneak over the fence to my neighbors barn and slaughter a cow.....
But I'll do it.
Mmmmmmmmmmmsteak

 

[stretchpants]

This is my page.It's all my page.and...I love it because it's all mine.I can sing and dance and do cartwheels (if I weren't 100.) I'm entertaining myself (which is not hard to do) I love my page.It's all my page...I guess everyone is out to dinner.I'm humming the jeopardy song to myself....I guess I'll just go do more laundry. See ya all tonight.

 

[stretchpants]

I wonder if I can get a face transplant before then? If not I guess I'll just go as I am.

Lookie! A darn good excuse to go to Florida!
Vapestock 2012

 

[stretchpants]

Tis true. I will have to take them in a bit.They are a little saggy in the ..... Oh no never mind...That's my ......Walks away to find bunmaster.....

We would still recognize you by your fabulous stretch pants

 

[stretchpants]

And once again THE PIE takes the cake.Uh huh uh huh...Humming the soundtrack to Rocky in my head and running up and down my steps....

OMG I LOVE PIE!! If I were on my computer I could convey it better, but I'll say this. There was a cartoon I watched when I was little on the Disney channel. It was called "Gummi Bears." they would drink "gummi berry juice" and their heads would spin around and all that cartoonish stuff and suddenly they were über powerful super bears who could jump higher than buildings and save the day from all that was evil.

I now know what that feels like. They must have been secretly vaping "The Pie."

I don't know what kind of Hogwarts slash voodoo potion magic you've crammed in here, FV. But I taste every bit of a fresh from the oven pumpkin pie. I always thought it was funny that they say dogs can taste all the ingredients to something instead of the collective taste like we do. I have realized the majesty of that tasting ability tonight.

All I can say is, FV, you are THE juice goddess!

 

[stretchpants]

Do you know that's not painted white?Do you know what happens to people who don't paint their houses white that live in Wisconsin? I'll bet you even eat French Cheese.

Copper Creek Cental

 

[stretchpants]

This is my page.It's all my page and when it's my page I like to say
MMMMMMMMMMMMPIEMMMMMMMMMMMMMM

 

[stretchpants]

Really? I'm still the only when here? Well O.K. I guess I'll just go and roast my Chestnuts on an open fire.

 

[stretchpants]

Heaven.. I'm in heaven...Last time I actually took a nap was August of 2001.

I have to thank you all for NOT misbehaving too badly, or else FV never would have given me the badge again. I took advantage of a grey day, pulled drapes, tired dogs and a comfy couch and took a 3 hour nap.

Man that felt good!

 

[stretchpants]

Welcome to CC. I'm the official Pie Provocateur. O.K. well maybe not...officially. Though she sometimes leaves me in charge...on occasion....O.K. she did once.....Enjoy the PIE

Yes, more pie please!

 

[stretchpants]

Being married for 41 years is like...I dunno ..Prison?? With only one other inmate in the jail.
You can either make the best out of it or try and kill each other. I find my 41 year sentence was in about the middle.
There were times that were so much fun it was ridiculous and other times not so much. I think why we are still together is because our values are the same and we both played our parts in everything including parenting and agreeing on which fast food joint are we having on any given night. He's my BFF and a PITA all at the same time.

 

[stretchpants]

Can you see it now? I'm nothing without my fanny showing...

 

[stretchpants]

I have to go remove this New Years horn out of my A double S. I'll be back once surgical removal is complete.

 

[stretchpants]

O.K. maybe a small problem but she'd get used to the fact that I like to steal hubcaps off of cop cars while they're stopped at red lights. Why'd you have to bring that up???

 

[stretchpants]

Then I hate to tell you your not in Wisconsin. Also the Dells is a singing group from the 50's not a place in WI.
If we're takin this field trip we're gonna need a map.

We have WI Dells here, is that a good excuse to vacation in WI? Resorts, waterparks, dining, theatre....... oh, and Copper Creek.

Stretchy, hate to tell you, but the hut is brown, the store is tan.....