The World According to Stretchpants-A compilation by FV

[efirdj]

I went to the Drs.today. I got drugs today too. But,she also said that what I really need is an exorcist,,

.............................

 

[efirdj]

I bit the bullet and called a landscaper today. Mr.??? believe it or not has that shoulder thing going on like FV. He got a cortisone shot last week with more to look forward to in the future. His is genetic. Some kind of defect similar to the one in his brain that makes him a PITA...But I digress. He can't shovel sh#t anymore and I never could. Sooooo I called a landscaper. I have $800.00 to spend. I'm figuing that will buy a bush...Well it's a start....

..................

 

[efirdj]

I am making DECONSTRUCTED (Bobby Flay) Shish Kebabs because I cannot find enough Shish's with which to kebab them...Good Tmes...

.......................

 

[efirdj]

I would have went home when I ripped my pants.In fact... I used to rip my pants on purpose so I could go home...

I couldnt have said it better myself!!!

 

[efirdj]

I had to run to the bank today but I drove instead.When I got there I asked them about "The curious bank" branding...They all looked like this

Am I the only one who is still enjoying this thread?!?

 

[FlyingV]

I love this thread. I need to find more oldies but goodies to add.

 

[FlyingV]

Not being that way, here's a label that I just printed. I think it will be a good thing when my stretchy eggs finally hatch.

 

[efirdj]

Not being that way, here's a label that I just printed. I think it will be a good thing when my stretchy eggs finally hatch.

I think youre in the wrong thread.

Of course... its your subforum... so I guess its ok.

And now, another Stretchyism!

Oh I almost forgot...I signed up for Twerkking lessons today and I get half off if I bring a friend.Who wants to? and.... Does anyone know where I can get a Twerking outfit? .I need to find it in about a size 20...

 

[efirdj]

Then do this...Go into the bathroom look n the mirror..notice the 2 long pieces of hair on either side of your face that look stupid because they are all stringy..Get the scissors from the junk drawer not the wonderfully sharp shears you have put away in case you want to take up sewing...go back into the bathroom hack off those stringy pieces and voila you have an unintentional Mullet..

SP Co op suppose to go live this evening. So I'm keeping track so I get our order in. That's my excitement for tonight.

That's pretty exciting.'m trying to repair an unintentonal Mullet..

 

[efirdj]

Do you know how it feels to walk into the hair salon and your stylist gasps? I do....

.......................

 

[efirdj]

These were too good to pass up.

I like Ice Cream but it's not chocolate cake..Few things are..Having said that.I am on a new diet...I have lost 9 lbs in about 6 weeks time.It's called "Eat cheesy orange popcorn followed quickly by a Dark Chocolate Klondike Bar at midnight every night..I didn't know I was on a diet.I discovered it while weighing Dixie Kisses....I'm penning a new book on it.
Here's a rough draft.."Eat cheesy orange popcorn followed quickly by a Dark Chocolate Klondike Bar at midnight every night..

You can't see me but I'm doing the Charleston in my jammies and motorcycle boots.

 

[efirdj]

OK so you know how people get ringing in the ears? I have an organ.I hear 2 notes of what sounds like a church organ.It's kinda like Da Duh ..Low... High..I can shut it out.I know you can't do that with ringing ears but I only notice it when my brain is unoccupied.
(no comments please)....

...................

 

[FlyingV]

This thread needs more posts.

*off to look for some*