T's Own Assn. for Seniors Tent (TOAST the Host)

[Sugar_and_Spice]

OK. I guess that I would be the only old time rock and roller here?

nah! I like all kinds of music.....cept rapp.

But TT said Hank Sr, so I'm guessing that is his preference, but i am sure he'll speak up...he's probably taking a nap. I'm think that's what the meaning of 'entering ones 2nd childhood means, ya kinda start doing the same things as when ya first started out.

 

[Free2BMe]

OK. I guess that I would be the only old time rock and roller here?

Hardly, Dear. Although I do like some country, too, my main roots is in rock...from the 50's through the 80's. Now I get to listen to my oldest daughter's blaring through the house and only have to yell at her to turn it down when it's something I don't like. Of course, I do seem to do quite a bit of yelling. LOL

 

[maureengill]

yes...rock and roll please...aww man...does it have to be classic?

Well...I guess some Pink Floyd wouldn't hurt....

Not a senior, but I volunteer to make sure none of the seniors fall over from all of the excitement...

 

[salemgold]

I am talking a little AC/DC here. Pink Floyd, Jimi Hendrix, Robin Trower, Steppenwolf, Led Zepplin.....

I do like the newer stuff too. Just don't like country!

 

[Denrock316]

I am talking a little AC/DC here. Pink Floyd, Jimi Hendrix, Robin Trower, Steppenwolf, Led Zepplin.....

I do like the newer stuff too. Just don't like country!

I'm mainly a Metal Head and lately I've been really into a band called Kamelot, but I like everything but rap and while I don't consider myself a fan of country I do like Johnny Cash and there are a few others that I don't mind. I listen to a lot of stuff even classical but some of my favorite bands are Megadeth, Metallica, Slayer, Pearl Jam, Alice in chains, and Tool.

 

[maureengill]

Denrock....and to think I didn't know you before this post...you have some decent taste.

I'm mainly a Metal Head and lately I've been really into a band called Kamelot, but I like everything but rap and while I don't consider myself a fan of country I do like Johnny Cash and there are a few others that I don't mind. I listen to a lot of stuff even classical but some of my favorite bands are Megadeth, Metallica, Slayer, Pearl Jam, Alice in chains, and Tool.

 

[vaporgalinfla]

The one and only. My dad always played his music all the time I was coming up.

My dad did too! Did you buy his last few CDs that were recorded after his wife died? I love listening to them.

 

[salemgold]

I'm mainly a Metal Head and lately I've been really into a band called Kamelot, but I like everything but rap and while I don't consider myself a fan of country I do like Johnny Cash and there are a few others that I don't mind. I listen to a lot of stuff even classical but some of my favorite bands are Megadeth, Metallica, Slayer, Pearl Jam, Alice in chains, and Tool.

I like Alice In Chains and Tool too and classical and maybe a few country songs just not the twangy stuff

 

[vaporgalinfla]

I am talking a little AC/DC here. Pink Floyd, Jimi Hendrix, Robin Trower, Steppenwolf, Led Zepplin.....

I do like the newer stuff too. Just don't like country!

I'm mainly a Metal Head and lately I've been really into a band called Kamelot, but I like everything but rap and while I don't consider myself a fan of country I do like Johnny Cash and there are a few others that I don't mind. I listen to a lot of stuff even classical but some of my favorite bands are Megadeth, Metallica, Slayer, Pearl Jam, Alice in chains, and Tool.

I don't like metal, but I like almost all other music (including classical). I love Pearl Jam! I also like GreenDay and Smashing Pumpkins a lot.

I don’t like new country, but I have a huge appreciation for some of the older country music.

I like old Pink Floyd and Led Zeppelin. Speaking of Led Zeppelin, I really like Robert Plant’s song – Angel Dance.

T - Sorry for hijacking your thread! You know we all love to get off topic.

 

[artbyjoni]

if'n the music is too fast or too heavy a beat it might cos pacemakers to run amuck

 

[TexasT]

Wow, I had to sit back and let some of this run its course. I know and love Perry Como, Dean Martin, 50's music (and a lot of 40"s too) and Country before it became Country Western, but I ain't jokin, some of those folks I just never have heard of down here in East Texas. I'm not even sure my radio would pick up their channels.

I did do some loafing today while my wife was at the Lube Rack. I fell asleep out on the porch on the upholstered couch in the warm sun. I was drinking some of cousin Enid's swamp juice last night and when I got up this morning my poor head wasn't feeling real good. Slept good until my wife's cat came by stomping his danged feet and woke me up.

Well, after I woke up I saw a nice looking hound dog out in my yard and a little bit later a city slicker pulls up in a new pick-up and called the dog. I walk over and stop him and told him that since the dog is on my farm, it belongs to me. After a few minutes of arguing, I proposes we settle the matter "country style."

"What’s country style?" asks the city boy.

"Out here in the country," I says, "when two fellers have a dispute, one feller kicks the other one in the happy place as hard as he can. Then that feller, why, he kicks the first one as hard as he can. And so forth. Last man standin’ wins the dispute."

Well, the city boy didn't like this but I guess he wanted his dog and he agrees and prepares himself. I hauls off and kicks him in the happy place with all my might. The city boy fell to the ground in the most intense pain he’s ever felt and crying like a baby. Finally he staggers to his feet and says, "All right, n-now it’s–it’s m-my turn."

I kinda grinned and said. "Aw, hell, you win. Keep the dog."

But I'll tell you, he's sure lucky my wife was at the Lube Rack working because she loves those hound dogs and he would have had a real fight on his hands. And its real hard to get a good grip on her when she's wearing those greasy coveralls.

Hey, I went up to the Coffee Shop to tell the old men about the city slicker and was watching the color television set and saw on the news about that cruise ship that everybody is having to eat Spam and Pop Tarts on. Boy, everybody in East Texas would like to be on that cruise ship.

I'll report more later.

 

[757girl]

OMG he has his own thread now lmao This is gonna be funny!! I can be in another section of the forum and read a post that is funny as all get out. Then I look at the name and it says "TexasT", I then tell myself....I should have known lol.

 

[salemgold]

if'n the music is too fast or too heavy a beat it might cos pacemakers to run amuck

True. We better slow it down a bit.

 

[TexasT]

Okay, I'll tell you the truth.

For a lot of years I've been trying to figure out some way to get rich. I'd like to have me a lot of money and maybe buy a new trailer house and a color television set like they have at the Coffee Shop in town and a better motor for my boat and some snazzy mods for vaping. And some more Wyatt Earp.

Well, several years ago I was reading on the internet that folks way up north liked to eat turtle soup. And it hit me! We have turtles all over the place here! So I made up my mind right there and then that I was gonna raise turtles, sell them up north and get rich. Finally. I was gonna be rich!


Now I know all about raising cows but I didn't know nothing about raising turtles. Of course I knew I would have to fence some land to keep them in so I went out and borrowed money off my relatives and some other people dumb enough to loan me money in the past. It wasn't too hard to do after I told them what I was going to do with the money. I guess they figured they'd borrow money off me after I got rich.

So I'm out there in the hot sun building three strand barbed wire fence nine inches high to hold the turtles. That was back breaking work stooping over to build that fence but I finally got 90 acres fenced off. Then I started collecting turtles. I went all over the County trapping them in peoples ponds and all the lakes we have here in East Texas and hauling those turtles home.


The first thing I found out was that turtles don't breed real fast. Hell, they don't do nothing real fast. But after quite a few years I finally got the herd built up and was working at getting them fat. That took a while too. Turtles don't get fat real fast.

But anyhow, after a long time I had me a good sized herd of fat turtles.

Now the next problem I had was to get the turtles to the yard at the train station down in Center, Texas so I could get them shipped up north where they could be sold. I really gave this a lot of thought. Hauling them in a horse trailer wouldn't work because I couldn't haul enough at one time. Finally I decided I was just going to have something like a real old fashioned cattle drive only with turtles.


So I go to the Quick Stop / Wattaburger place in town and hired some boys that said they could ride horses and knew about herding cattle. And we did it. By one Monday morning we had all these thousands of turtles rounded up and it was a pretty sight. Turtles as far as the eye could see. And we started our turtle drive.

Well friend, we had been gone about a week and a half on this turtle drive and could still walk home for lunch every day. Those turtles were so danged slow. And when they get it in their head they've gone far enough they just get in that shell and don't come out and don't move until their in the mood. And they never seemed to be in the mood.


After eleven months we had gone 6 miles and were getting close to town. Now we had to cross that little river. Its only three feet deep in places, not much of a river. But. Sitting out there on a log in the deepest part of the river was an old girl mud turtle basking in the sun and showing off her attributes.

Then the worst thing you can imagine happened. My herd of turtles saw that girl out there on that log and stampeded trying to get to her. But my turtles had been raised on land and were fat and didn't know much about swimming and such and ran out into that river and they all drowned. Every one of them.


And that was the end of that. Now there's a nice ... what we down south here call a shell road across the river but the County would never give me any money for it.

And I'm still broke.

 

[Denrock316]

I've never had turtle soup I hear it is good though. LMFAO

PS- I'm glad I keep paper towels near my desk I just had to wipe my monitor off.

 

[k5blazer]

Very funny, I need to change my depends now.

 

[TexasT]

So anyhow, I was still trying to think of some way of getting rich when I had this amazing idea!

I asked myself a question. It was this. Why do men get married? Well the answer is so obvious. So you have somebody there to eat that danged white meat when you have chicken for dinner!!! It hit me like a lightening bolt!!! Men just like the dark meat. If your not married there's nobody there to eat the white meat.

What we needed was a modified chicken. One with big, long drumsticks and thighs and little bitty white meat breasts. So I started breeding chickens and finally hit on it. Long legged chickens.

Now the first thing I had to do was build a fence to hold them so I took down my turtle fence and built another fence of three-strand barbed wire five feet high to hold the chickens. That was a lot of work out in that hot sun, but I eventually got it done and my chickens were growing.

There was only one problem. These chickens had long legs and they couldn't bend over to peck the ground. They were starving to death.

So here I go again. I had to build feed stands for them about four feet high so they could bend over and eat. But it worked and they kept on growing. Nice, long, thick legs!

Eventually my chickens were full grown and ready for market. I made arrangements for a place to clean and dress the chickens and package them and help me sell the meat. I was finally going to be rich!

And at first they sold real good but then women quit buying them because those long, frozen chicken legs wouldn't fit in a grocery sack and women had to put them on their shoulder and carry them home. Well the frozen chicken leg made their necks so cold they just stopped buying them.

And there I was stuck with all those long legged chickens. We ate chicken till I gagged on it. They weren't worth anything because when they laid an egg and being so tall, by the time the egg hit the ground it was broken. I went ahead and turned the chickens loose.

One day cousin Enid and I was sitting on the upholstered couch on the front porch when a pick-up truck came zooming down my dirt road. Well one of the chickens was out by the road and when that truck went by the chicken started chasing it and just a little ways down the road went past the pick-up truck! Well cousin Enid looked at that and jumped up, got in his truck and left.

When he came back he had fifteen dollars in his hand and offered to buy all my long legged chickens. So I figured "humm, what a dummy." So I sold him all my chickens for fifteen dollars! I had M-O-N-E-Y!!!

Well cousin Enid loads up all those chickens and hauled them up to the race track at Tyler, Texas and made a fortune racing them against Kawasakis and Corvettes. Today, him and his wife have one of those big double-wide trailer houses and new pick-up trucks and one of those big color television sets and a real nice couch out in the front yard.

But that's okay. Sometimes I sit here and think and other times I just sit here, but one of these days I'll come up with a good idea and I'll get rich.

 

[Free2BMe]

I can never wait to see what you have to say....and each seems to outdo the previous.

 

[TexasT]

Well now I'm just gonna kick back and vape some Wyatt Earp and I want to hear other peoples stories!

Your turn guys and gals!

 

[5cardstud]

OK. I guess that I would be the only old time rock and roller here?

No your not. I like Buck Owens too.


Hey T, Just grow your chickens like this one right chere.

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