Your no different than a lot of folks, Mike. Many don't admit it and eventually slip away, discouraged because PV's worked for everyone else. I tend to look for the ones on slippery ground, since I finally gained my foothold. To be clear, some can switch to PV's and never look back,
but not all. Typical advice for those struggling is higher nic, higher voltage, different flavors, method of inhale, etc. For some, none of that works and PV's are turned into money pits. The fact is some people
need the tobacco alkaloids that get stripped from eliquids. These alkaloids have a maoi effect that acts as an anti-anxiety and anti-depressant drug. They're what gives a smoke that calm, relaxed feeling of mental focus (and initiate that morning bm). Eliquids can be made just as pure and still contain those alkaloids, but that adds to the expense and complexity of the process, so they only give us the stripped nicotine molecule instead.
A little background on me. I'm 46 years old and have had a lifetime of drug an alcohol abuse. 5 1/2 years ago I went to rehab for, hopefully, the last time. Since then strong coffee and smokes are what kept depression and anxiety in check. About a month after I switched to vaping I started experiencing increased symptoms of depression...no motivation to do more than breath, no interest in anything, very dark moods, total loss of appetite. And the anxiety seemed to build an a daily basis along with a growing, intense craving for something missing. At the same time I had a nice hot PV stuck to my face all my waking hours, vaping straight 54mg eliquid with an occasional 75mg boost. I was gettin' the nic, all that had changed was I wasn't smoking. Fast forward a bit, I hooked up with some folks here on the forum, some quite knowledgeable, and DVap, a chemist on the forum. Through much research on tobacco, it was determined what the problem was, the missing alkaloids. DVap invested serious time and money to make some eliquid that still contained those alkaloids and sent samples to me and some others who were like me. The stuff tasted and worked like the real thing, only without the smoke and all the other nasties. Good stuff for sure, but DVap couldn't keep producing it and nobody else will. Through more research by DVap and others we found Swedish snus offers the required alkaloids. Things being what they were, my choices were go back to smokes, use anti-depressant/anxiety drugs (never again) or suppliment with Swedish snus. That's how I got here.
A lot of folks never regain their body's ability to properly release dopamine due to substance abuse (including smokes), trauma or never did it right to begin with. That leaves us in a bad spot when switching to PV's only. That's also why so many want to quit, but are never able to give up a few a day. It helps to keep them mentally balanced. Swedish snus does that and so does dip/chew. Dip has it own health risks though and even though it's less harmful than smokes (studies show, regardless of anti-speak), Swedish snus is in a class by itself. Hundreds of years in use, it's been well studied. It's regulated as a food product in Sweden and can be no more harmful than any other edibles. It's discrete, spit-less, comes in quite a variety and has the goods to keep people like me moderately sane. Worth a try. Not only do I not smoke, I'm fairly happy and fully functional. Strange thing about this stuff is the feeling of calm goes much deeper than it ever did with smokes. No peaks and valleys. My challenge would be to hook up with some good Swedish snus and sit back to enjoy a nice relaxed vape session. If you have any questions about it, post some down in this forums "Smokeless" sub-forum. Guaranteed, everyone there's been in your shoes and more than happy help you out. Quite a few forum ladies using it, too. If you wanna look into the alkaloid stuff, click on my avatar and check the
WTA stuff (Whole Tobacco Alkaloids). Good luck, bro
.