Women! Opinions Needed!

[Porphy]

That's right you heard correctly! I need your opinions! I'm a guy and actually asking for them! 8-o

Seriously though I need to know what's up here.

I'm buying my wife a B-day present (I already know what I'm getting her as a "piece de resistance") but I need to know what else she'll enjoy that I might not have gotten her yet.

Some background info:

We're in S. Korea, so advice like "Take her to Red Lobster" isn't going to work.

We've been married 12 years and have pretty much "done" everything normal; gone on vacations, locked ourselves in 5 star hotels for weeks, jewelry, reaffirmed vows, yadda yadda yadda.

I need ideas that aren't regular avenues for me.

She doesn't want anything! It's so annoying, but when it comes to buying "things" I'm the one always spending money... she doesn't like to spend money on herself at all (she prefers me to do it without any clue as to what she wants). So when birthday time comes around I try to make it extra special and this year I've run out of ideas.

Give me some fuel for inspiration please. Money is of little consequence. To give you an idea of what I normally do, last birthday consisted of:

- Vacation to Japan.
- Pamper package: spa treatment at her disposal 24/7 for the entire time.
- Gift: Diamond (her fav) teardrop pendant necklace
- One night with a bought out restaurant and 6 piece all to ourselves. (Nothing sexier than candlelight, her eyes, and a sonata playing.)
- Shopping: had to force her to do this but she finally gave in and started buying things she "wanted" not "needed" (Hooray!)
- Most dinner meals were lavish
- Hotel was top notch (5star)

The thing is, little of that takes forethought. I want this birthday to be extra special and filled with gifts and experiences that show I put a lot of thought into it.... only I have writer's block in my romantic node. This is usually easy for me but, like I said, I've pretty much done it all.

The only thing I don't want to do is another vacation. It's a bit late to set one up without her noticing and we just got back from a vacation so it would be a bit redundant.

Ideas welcome!

 

[stevo_tdo]

Google search Clone-a-willy. With her help it could be one memberable night..lol

 

[crashtestjeep]

well, you can always take it back to the basics....what did you guys do on ur first date, or what were you doing the first minute you realized you had fallen inn love w/her? You dont have to take her to the exact location, or be in the setting, but to be romantic, re-create that moment right there in ur living room-decorate it so she'll feel nostalgic and know exactly what moment ur going for. tell her that joke that made you fall in love w/her laugh, show her a picture that made her smile just the way you fell in love with, tell her thats the smile and laugh u first fell for....make a picture book of ur memories together, good and sad -dont leave out those people who have passed yet shared great memories with), reminisce.........make everything that night a reminder of why you love her. watch that movie you first "made-out" to, eat the same food, follow the same routine.... Bring up a memory of something of each year that you have known her (a highlight if u will) and explain how over time, those moments' feelings continnued to grow into an unstoppable love and let her know that each one of her birthdays - you celebrate the birth of the rest of ur life as well...... i think you get the point. Anyway, sometimes celebrating your past together makes for a better future. A reminder of for both of you that you live for each other....yesterday, today and tomorrow---and you love growing older TOGETHER....

Let me know what you ended up choosing to do, Im sure it will be very special

 

[Justncredible]

I had a GF give me service cards once, like her cook dinner, or preform a act, or a movie on her, or a dinner on her, all kinds of thing she would have to do when presented the card. She refused all the good ones after I broke up with her....LOL

When money does not matter, then it is time spent that means the most. The cards will force you to spend the time when she wants it.

 

[Kate51]

Justncredible, that is a very handsome avatar!....
Cards are a great idea. Would be very nice to have a "ace" up your sleeve when you don't feel like making supper.....ha! I talkin like a girl, understand..

 

[AngusATAT]

buy her a Chuck... she'll love you forever.

 

[DaMulta]

You should get her one of those fancy toasters that toast bagels!

 

[iblis]

well, you can always take it back to the basics....what did you guys do on ur first date, or what were you doing the first minute you realized you had fallen inn love w/her? You dont have to take her to the exact location, or be in the setting, but to be romantic, re-create that moment right there in ur living room-decorate it so she'll feel nostalgic and know exactly what moment ur going for. tell her that joke that made you fall in love w/her laugh, show her a picture that made her smile just the way you fell in love with, tell her thats the smile and laugh u first fell for....make a picture book of ur memories together, good and sad -dont leave out those people who have passed yet shared great memories with), reminisce.........make everything that night a reminder of why you love her. watch that movie you first "made-out" to, eat the same food, follow the same routine.... Bring up a memory of something of each year that you have known her (a highlight if u will) and explain how over time, those moments' feelings continnued to grow into an unstoppable love and let her know that each one of her birthdays - you celebrate the birth of the rest of ur life as well...... i think you get the point. Anyway, sometimes celebrating your past together makes for a better future. A reminder of for both of you that you live for each other....yesterday, today and tomorrow---and you love growing older TOGETHER....

Let me know what you ended up choosing to do, Im sure it will be very special

I'm a guy, so my vote doesn't count, but this seems like a double plus good idea.

 

[Porphy]

I had a GF give me service cards once, like her cook dinner, or preform a act, or a movie on her, or a dinner on her, all kinds of thing she would have to do when presented the card. She refused all the good ones after I broke up with her....LOL

When money does not matter, then it is time spent that means the most. The cards will force you to spend the time when she wants it.

We do this on our anniversary. We trade coupons for things we really like or don't want to do and, of course, the "get out of the dog house free" card.

As for going back to basics... that would be tough. We're dislocated from the states, and we met and fell in love in place we both really didn't like anyway... in fact our falling in love was the only good to come out of that place.

I could try to recreate the scene but a battered futon and 20 empty bottles of whiskey are going to be tough... plus the 13 or so empty pizza boxes and the beer can pyramid. (we met and fell in love in my Army barracks room).

@Angus - She's already got one Chuck OTW and possibly another True Blood Chuck once Jeff sends a pic.

I wish there were some sort of log cabin-esque get away around here. I think a nice solitary birthday is something we haven't done in awhile.

 

[crashtestjeep]

To me, the beer can pyramid, a little camo, pizza for dinner (maybe home-made with her fav toppings? w/wine instead of whiskey,lol)and some pics of ur guy's past from start to finish spread about would immediatley make her smile, (thinking ur crazy to do such a thing) -giving u the chance to tell her thats the smile u fell in love with, then comes that girlish laughter u fell in love with bc you set the whole scene up(again, giving u the in to say "see, theres reason 2 I fell in love w/u, that laugh"), then comes the "remember when we first fell in love ...."(making her feel like shes the luckiest woman ever to have a hubby do all this to stir up all these original butterfly like feelings u initially had for each other) and just you saying the only thing good that came of all that WAS ur love (and telling her ur glad u went thru all that if it meant gaining her...).....certainly sounds super romantic and original to me, heck-find that cabin and set the scene there or send her to the spa while u do it, its all about the surprise.......BTW, Im a woman myself.....Just sayin'.

Sometimes, you just gotta think about the things shes NEVER had, to give her the perfect gift...Im not saying this is perfect, Im just saying to top all else, it has to be totally unexpected of you. I wish you the best of luck and hope you both have a very special day on her bday...

 

[Porphy]

Im just saying to top all else, it has to be totally unexpected of you. I wish you the best of luck and hope you both have a very special day on her bday...

Thanks for the input and you pretty much summed up the only reason I'm not doing something along these lines. I do these kinds of gestures all the time, it's a bit expected. I leave her poetry on her pillow, send her roses at work when I know she'll be having a bad day, make her dishes from home when I know she's homesick, and other semi-elaborate maneuvers.

For instance, this years gift is something that she's wanted forever but "never got around to" and holds a special meaning in both our hearts. It's simple and most would consider it a silly thing but it holds deeper meaning. I'm just looking for those few extra things I can do reaffirm to her that she is my world.

I think I'm on the right track though. So far you gals are giving me inspiration as to what to do. I need to make a few calls and set some things in motion and see how they play out. This year is going to be about reconnecting... that's all I'll say for now

 

[Moonflame]

How about either a charm necklace or charm bracelet with a charm for every year you've been together. Something that brings back memories of that year. You could combine this with the idea of where and when you fell in love and do a treasure hunt at the same time. First clue leads to charm for year one, with a clue to where the year 2 charm is, and so on. Then from now on you could add to it each year.

 

[mamu]

If you REALLY want to make "this birthday to be extra special" to her - make her something. Don't buy it - make it!

My most treasured birthday presents are those that have been handmade by hubby.

One year he made me a quilt rack that now has a treasured place in our bedroom. Another year hubby made me a shadow box and put some of our favorite momentos in it. And yet another year hubby made me a custom sized ironing table that he knew I needed.

You probably have an idea of what she collects or what her hobbies are. Make something along those lines.

It doesn't have to be fancy or perfect. She'll love it because you made it. Now that's truly a priceless gift because it came from the heart.

 

[Porphy]

How about either a charm necklace or charm bracelet with a charm for every year you've been together. Something that brings back memories of that year. You could combine this with the idea of where and when you fell in love and do a treasure hunt at the same time. First clue leads to charm for year one, with a clue to where the year 2 charm is, and so on. Then from now on you could add to it each year.

The treasure hunt sounds fun. I'll have to make it good though, if it's too easy she'll breeze through it and if it's too tough she'll beat me to a bloody pulp for withholding her presents.

If you REALLY want to make "this birthday to be extra special" to her - make her something. Don't buy it - make it!

My most treasured birthday presents are those that have been handmade by hubby.

One year he made me a quilt rack that now has a treasured place in our bedroom. Another year hubby made me a shadow box and put some of our favorite momentos in it. And yet another year hubby made me a custom sized ironing table that he knew I needed.

You probably have an idea of what she collects or what her hobbies are. Make something along those lines.

It doesn't have to be fancy or perfect. She'll love it because you made it. Now that's truly a priceless gift because it came from the heart.

This is one of the things I've come up with and am setting in motion. It's not a hand made item but it'll be something I've put together just for her. I could also try my hand at candle making though.... someone have a medic ready!

 

[Mary Kay]

One of the best gifts I ever got was 2 boards..yeah plain wood, so I could create something, I woodcarve, so I made a table for beside the front door. It has4 bas relief flowers in the top, one for each season of the year. He also included some new carving tools and a hardwood box with felt lined drawers to put my tools in!
It wasn't the gift it was the thought he put behind it. Does your wife have a hobby? If so, something along those lines then.
Hubby gave me a White German Shepard named Jake for my birthday, The year we were married. Jake was 2 years old and fully trained. Mike traveled with the Air Force a lot then and wanted me and the kids to be safe. The dog was the first in a line of white shepards we have owned over 33 years.
He never just gives me things..he gives me memories.

 

[BlondieLocs]

It's hard to come up with ideas for a woman we know nothing about. What are her hobbies, passions, etc.? Also might help to know what the "piece de resistance" is...

I'm apparently also one of those women who are impossible to buy gifts for, although for the opposite reason... if I want something I just go get it. The ex used to think I was dropping hints - "Oh, she said she really liked that robe from Victoria's Secret!" - but then I'd show up with it in my shopping bags the next day and drive him nuts. Ha! Guess he should have tried harder... ;-)

Anyhow... my suggestions from the little info you've given us:

12 years of marriage - first thought when I read that was a "12 Days of Xmas" kind of theme.

You said she gets homesick - how about buying her a piece of home? Literally. Unusual and Unique Gift Ideas: Personalized Gifts for Everyone - Birthday, Wedding Anniversary, Last Minute Gifts for Christmas, Valentines Day and Gag Novelty Printable Gifts. (Everyone's got a star already, right?)

Personally, I've always made jokes that the best gift ever would be my own title - I know these can be bought also - but then I always thought Lady Lorinda had a nice ring to it.

I also lean more towards "experience gifts". Not sure what's available in S. Korea, but you can buy experiences like racecar driving, dolphin swims, skydiving, helicopter flights, medieval jousting, gourmet cooking classes, recording studio rentals... the list goes on and on. Some great ideas here: Experience Days, Gift Experiences, Gift Cards & Experience Vouchers for Birthday Presents & Gift Ideas


Hope that helps...
Lady Lorinda

 

[BlondieLocs]

He never just gives me things..he gives me memories.

Exactly my thoughts, MaryKay! We have a long line of "Making Memories" in my family.

Also, on the treasure hunt. I'm an expert at that. LOL... Last one I did was for a girlfriend and the clues led her to different areas of town where there were gifts waiting (not just areas of the house) - like a well-known statue of a dragon, her favourite bar... clues were done in limerick riddles - "Go to the place where 'everyone knows your name'. Mike sure will be glad you came." etc. I drove, and she had to tell me where I was going. Was a blast and will never be forgotten.

 

[Rhetoric Camel]

wow I wish I knew what it was like to say "Money is of little consequence"... I'm having a hard time figuring out how I'm going to buy my girlfriend something for her birthday with a piece of chewed bubble gum, pocket lint, and 37 cents I found in her purse.

Sorry wish I could help.

 

[catwoman19]

I don't have any suggestions for you, but do you have a brother who's single?

 

[rfun6]

This is how I wanna be....Money is of little consequence. Dang I have to save pennies. If you find any spare money, I'll take it. LOL

Make her go shopping and get stuff she doesn't need but wants.
Take her to a haunted hotel, motel, castle to see a ghost.
Take her to see the pyramids.
Ah New Zealand is so beautiful. Maybe she would like to see that.
Or just ask her want she wants.
Let her meet her favorite movie star/ singer/ band.
Get her name tattooed on you or let her get a tattoo.
Buy her a new car or seadoo or 4wheeler, etc.
I always wanted to travel, so that would be something I like, but if she's been everywhere and done that. Then that would be boring.
Let her get plastic surgery she might want done..(but don't mention it if she hasn't... would make it look like you want her to change)


I don't know what to tell you.. I don't usually get birthday presents so I don't know
good luck with choosing. Hope you pick right. But I'm sure, since she loves you, anything you choose will be good enough for her.