A Smile for you
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This is cute and kinda funny, but I'm sure there is a whole lot of truth to it.
Marykay, I thought you would like that. I'm pretty sure that's the way it was when my mom grew up. That's half the way it was when I was growing up. I grew up in such an inbetween time. (born in 1980) We had a real drug problem and there was crime but not the extent it was now. Our parents still disciplined us on a regular basis but not as much as their parents did, but a lot more than parents now do. (not saying it about ALL, don't throw stones at me. LOL) I know there are parents out there who do discipline their children as needed. 
My grandson misbehaved when he was little and I threatened to punish my daughter (married, living in her own home..lol) because it was HER fault..the son in law said."she can't do that"! I told them both to go to their room. He was making noises and My daughter said..lets go, it just easier to do it! He still tells that story and he is married to someone else now.
My grandson misbehaved when he was little and I threatened to punish my daughter (married, living in her own home..lol) because it was HER fault..the son in law said."she can't do that"! I told them both to go to their room. He was making noises and My daughter said..lets go, it just easier to do it! He still tells that story and he is married to someone else now.
no matter how old you get Mom still tries to discipline you.
The grandon asked me once, who is the boss of me? I said his mommy, He looked at me with that sly little look only 3 year olds get and asked..who is the boss of Mommy? I said Me! Big eyed and amazed he asked of course..who is the boss of YOU..Grandpa? I said NO! Great grandma (mom was giggling) He looked at my mom with awe and said..who and before he could continue, Mom said God!
He started the whole thing over with Mike and Mike just said..grandma..He was trying to watch football.
He started the whole thing over with Mike and Mike just said..grandma..He was trying to watch football.
The grandon asked me once, who is the boss of me? I said his mommy, He looked at me with that sly little look only 3 year olds get and asked..who is the boss of Mommy? I said Me! Big eyed and amazed he asked of course..who is the boss of YOU..Grandpa? I said NO! Great grandma (mom was giggling) He looked at my mom with awe and said..who and before he could continue, Mom said God!
He started the whole thing over with Mike and Mike just said..grandma..He was trying to watch football.
Either that or he was just smart!
Do you guys think it would be "professional" to take this to hand out to all of the parents of the children I provide mental health services to? I sure think it would be appropriate! LOL
Beatle - I would be for it. I don't see a problem with it. However, if it puts your job on the line don't do it, no matter how tempting it may be.
LOL.
lol omg the blonde and the microwave...bwahahaha!!
jennee i can tell you that around where i live kids have no respect for their elders doesn't matter who they are. when i go visit family in GA...wow what a diffrence the yes mam no mam thing i have cousins that are little and they call me mam! tried to get them to stop and they won't lol. i wasn't brought up that way but i have emence respect for my family and me and dh have said that when/if we have kids that is exactly how we want our kids to behave. something about things being more simple and people actually not taking stuff for granted. alot of kids just get stuff handed to them. growing up my dad was military and we lived on base alot of my clothes/toys when i was younger were from salvation army..i didn't know the diffrence..and now no one else knows the diffrence..lol
sorry to go so ot...but had to share!
jennee i can tell you that around where i live kids have no respect for their elders doesn't matter who they are. when i go visit family in GA...wow what a diffrence the yes mam no mam thing i have cousins that are little and they call me mam! tried to get them to stop and they won't lol. i wasn't brought up that way but i have emence respect for my family and me and dh have said that when/if we have kids that is exactly how we want our kids to behave. something about things being more simple and people actually not taking stuff for granted. alot of kids just get stuff handed to them. growing up my dad was military and we lived on base alot of my clothes/toys when i was younger were from salvation army..i didn't know the diffrence..and now no one else knows the diffrence..lol
sorry to go so ot...but had to share!
Top 10 Things Only Women Understand
10. Why it's good to have five pairs of black shoes.
9. The difference between cream, ivory, and off-white.
8. Crying can be fun.
7. FAT CLOTHES.
6. A salad, diet drink, and a hot fudge sundae make a balanced lunch.
5. Discovering a designer dress on the clearance rack can be considered a peak life experience.
4. The inaccuracy of every bathroom scale ever made.
3. A good man might be hard to find, but a good hairdresser is next to impossible.
2. Why a phone call between two women never lasts under ten minutes.
AND THE NUMBER ONE THING ONLY WOMEN UNDERSTAND:
1. OTHER WOMEN!
10. Why it's good to have five pairs of black shoes.
9. The difference between cream, ivory, and off-white.
8. Crying can be fun.
7. FAT CLOTHES.
6. A salad, diet drink, and a hot fudge sundae make a balanced lunch.
5. Discovering a designer dress on the clearance rack can be considered a peak life experience.
4. The inaccuracy of every bathroom scale ever made.
3. A good man might be hard to find, but a good hairdresser is next to impossible.
2. Why a phone call between two women never lasts under ten minutes.
AND THE NUMBER ONE THING ONLY WOMEN UNDERSTAND:
1. OTHER WOMEN!
Marykay - I have seen that one and Love it even more everytime I read it. It's so true.
[SIZE=+0]
Number One Idiot of 2008
I am a medical student currently doing a rotation in toxicology at the
poison control centre. Today, this woman called in very upset because
she caught her little daughter eating ants. I quickly reassured her that
the ants are not harmful and there would be no need to bring her
daughter into the hospital. She calmed down and at the end of the
conversation happened to mention that she gave her daughter some ant
poison to eat in order to kill the ants.
I told her that she better bring her daughter in to the emergency room
right away.
Here's your sign, lady. Wear it with pride.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Number Two Idiot of 2008
Early this year, some Boeing employees on the airfield decided to steal
a life raft from one of the 747s. They were successful in getting it out
of the plane and home. Shortly after they took it for a float on the
river, they noticed a Coast Guard helicopter coming toward them. It
turned out that the chopper was homing in on the emergency locater
beacon that activated when the raft was inflated.. They are no longer
employed at Boeing.
Here's your sign, guys. Don't get it wet; the paint might run.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Number Three Idiot of 2008
A man, wanting to rob a downtown Bank of America, walked into the
Branch and wrote this, 'Put all your muny in this bag.' While standing
in line, waiting to give his note to the teller, he began to worry that
someone had seen him write the note and might call the police before he
reached the teller's window. So he left the Bank of America and
crossed the street to the Wells Fargo Bank. After waiting a few minutes
in line, he handed his note to the Wells Fargo teller. She read it
and, surmising from his spelling errors that he wasn't the brightest
light in the harbor, told him that she could not accept his stickup note
because it was written on a Bank of America deposit slip and that he
would either have to fill out a Wells Fargo deposit slip or go back to
Bank of America.
Looking somewhat defeated, the man said, 'OK' and left. He was arrested
a few minutes later, as he was waiting in line back at Bank of America.
Don't bother with this guy's sign. He probably couldn't read it anyway.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Number Four Idiot of 2008
A guy walked into a little corner store with a shotgun and demanded all
of the cash from the cash drawer. After the cashier put the cash in a
bag, the robber saw a bottle of Scotch that he wanted behind the counter
on the shelf. He told the cashier to put it in the bag as well, but the
cashier refused and said, 'Because I don't believe you are over 21.' The
robber said he was, but the clerk still refused to give it to him
because she di dn't believe him. At this point, the robber took his
driver's license out of his wallet and gave it to the clerk.
The clerk looked it over and agreed that the man was in fact over 21
and she put the Scotch in the bag. The robber then ran from the store
with his loot. The cashier promptly called the police and gave the name
and address of the robber that he got off the license. They arrested the
robber two hours later.
This guy definitely needs a sign.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Idiot Number Five of 2008
A pair of Michigan robbers entered a record shop nervously waving
revolvers. The first one shouted, 'Nobody move!' When his partner moved,
the startled first bandit shot him.
This guy doesn't even deserve a sign
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Idiot Number Six of 2008
Arkansas : Seems this guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He decided
that he'd just throw a cinder block through a liquo r store window, grab
some booze, and run. So he lifted the cinder block and heaved it over
his head at the window. The cinder block bounced back knocking him
unconscious. It seems the liquor store window was made of Plexi-Glass.
The whole event was caught on videotape.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Idiot Number Seven of 2008
I live in a semi-rural area ( Weyauwega , Wisconsin ). We
recently had a new neighbor call the local township administrative
office to request the removal of the Deer Crossing sign on our road.
The reason: 'Too many deer are being hit by cars out here! - I don't
think this is a good place for them to be crossing anymore.'
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
STAY ALERT! They walk among us.... and they REPRODUCE...!
[/SIZE]
Number One Idiot of 2008
I am a medical student currently doing a rotation in toxicology at the
poison control centre. Today, this woman called in very upset because
she caught her little daughter eating ants. I quickly reassured her that
the ants are not harmful and there would be no need to bring her
daughter into the hospital. She calmed down and at the end of the
conversation happened to mention that she gave her daughter some ant
poison to eat in order to kill the ants.
I told her that she better bring her daughter in to the emergency room
right away.
Here's your sign, lady. Wear it with pride.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Number Two Idiot of 2008
Early this year, some Boeing employees on the airfield decided to steal
a life raft from one of the 747s. They were successful in getting it out
of the plane and home. Shortly after they took it for a float on the
river, they noticed a Coast Guard helicopter coming toward them. It
turned out that the chopper was homing in on the emergency locater
beacon that activated when the raft was inflated.. They are no longer
employed at Boeing.
Here's your sign, guys. Don't get it wet; the paint might run.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Number Three Idiot of 2008
A man, wanting to rob a downtown Bank of America, walked into the
Branch and wrote this, 'Put all your muny in this bag.' While standing
in line, waiting to give his note to the teller, he began to worry that
someone had seen him write the note and might call the police before he
reached the teller's window. So he left the Bank of America and
crossed the street to the Wells Fargo Bank. After waiting a few minutes
in line, he handed his note to the Wells Fargo teller. She read it
and, surmising from his spelling errors that he wasn't the brightest
light in the harbor, told him that she could not accept his stickup note
because it was written on a Bank of America deposit slip and that he
would either have to fill out a Wells Fargo deposit slip or go back to
Bank of America.
Looking somewhat defeated, the man said, 'OK' and left. He was arrested
a few minutes later, as he was waiting in line back at Bank of America.
Don't bother with this guy's sign. He probably couldn't read it anyway.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Number Four Idiot of 2008
A guy walked into a little corner store with a shotgun and demanded all
of the cash from the cash drawer. After the cashier put the cash in a
bag, the robber saw a bottle of Scotch that he wanted behind the counter
on the shelf. He told the cashier to put it in the bag as well, but the
cashier refused and said, 'Because I don't believe you are over 21.' The
robber said he was, but the clerk still refused to give it to him
because she di dn't believe him. At this point, the robber took his
driver's license out of his wallet and gave it to the clerk.
The clerk looked it over and agreed that the man was in fact over 21
and she put the Scotch in the bag. The robber then ran from the store
with his loot. The cashier promptly called the police and gave the name
and address of the robber that he got off the license. They arrested the
robber two hours later.
This guy definitely needs a sign.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Idiot Number Five of 2008
A pair of Michigan robbers entered a record shop nervously waving
revolvers. The first one shouted, 'Nobody move!' When his partner moved,
the startled first bandit shot him.
This guy doesn't even deserve a sign
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Idiot Number Six of 2008
Arkansas : Seems this guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He decided
that he'd just throw a cinder block through a liquo r store window, grab
some booze, and run. So he lifted the cinder block and heaved it over
his head at the window. The cinder block bounced back knocking him
unconscious. It seems the liquor store window was made of Plexi-Glass.
The whole event was caught on videotape.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Idiot Number Seven of 2008
I live in a semi-rural area ( Weyauwega , Wisconsin ). We
recently had a new neighbor call the local township administrative
office to request the removal of the Deer Crossing sign on our road.
The reason: 'Too many deer are being hit by cars out here! - I don't
think this is a good place for them to be crossing anymore.'
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
STAY ALERT! They walk among us.... and they REPRODUCE...!
[/SIZE]
This one is really old, but it's cute.
A WALMART JOB APPLICATION!!!
WAL-MART Job Application: This is an actual job application that a 17-year old boy submitted to WalMart in Florida... and they hired him because he was so honest and funny!
NAME: Greg Bulmash. ...
SEX: Not yet. Still waiting for the right person
DESIRED POSITION: Company's President or Vice
President. But seriously, whatever's available. If I
was in a position to be picky, I wouldn't be applying
here in the first place.
DESIRED SALARY: $185,000 a year plus stock options and
a Michael Ovitz style severance package. If that's not
possible, make an offer and we can haggle.
EDUCATION: Yes.
LAST POSITION HELD: Target for middle management
hostility.
SALARY: Less than I'm worth.
MOST NOTABLE ACHIEVEMENT: My incredible collection of
stolen pens and post-it notes.
REASON FOR LEAVING: It sucked.
HOURS AVAILABLE TO WORK: Any.
PREFERRED HOURS: 1:30-3:30 p. m., Monday, Tuesday, and
Thursday.
DO YOU HAVE ANY SPECIAL SKILLS?: Yes, but they're
better suited to a more intimate environment.
MAY WE CONTACT YOUR CURRENT EMPLOYER?: If I had one,
wouldn't I be there?
DO YOU HAVE ANY PHYSICAL CONDITIONS THAT WOULD
PROHIBIT YOU FROM LIFTING UP TO 50 LBS.?: Of what?
DO YOU HAVE A CAR?: I think the more appropriate
question here would be "Do you have a car that runs?"
HAVE YOU RECEIVED ANY SPECIAL AWARDS OR RECOGNITION?:
I may already be a winner of the Publishers Clearing
house Sweepstakes.
DO YOU SMOKE?: On the job no, on my breaks yes.
WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE DOING IN FIVE YEARS?: Living
in the Bahamas with a fabulously wealthy dumb sexy
blonde supermodel who thinks I'm the greatest thing
since sliced bread. Actually, I'd like to be doing
that
now.
DO YOU CERTIFY THAT THE ABOVE IS TRUE AND COMPLETE TO
THE BEST OF YOUR KNOWLEDGE?: Yes. Absolutely.
SIGN HERE: Aries.
Walmart gave him a job!!!
A WALMART JOB APPLICATION!!!
WAL-MART Job Application: This is an actual job application that a 17-year old boy submitted to WalMart in Florida... and they hired him because he was so honest and funny!
NAME: Greg Bulmash. ...
SEX: Not yet. Still waiting for the right person
DESIRED POSITION: Company's President or Vice
President. But seriously, whatever's available. If I
was in a position to be picky, I wouldn't be applying
here in the first place.
DESIRED SALARY: $185,000 a year plus stock options and
a Michael Ovitz style severance package. If that's not
possible, make an offer and we can haggle.
EDUCATION: Yes.
LAST POSITION HELD: Target for middle management
hostility.
SALARY: Less than I'm worth.
MOST NOTABLE ACHIEVEMENT: My incredible collection of
stolen pens and post-it notes.
REASON FOR LEAVING: It sucked.
HOURS AVAILABLE TO WORK: Any.
PREFERRED HOURS: 1:30-3:30 p. m., Monday, Tuesday, and
Thursday.
DO YOU HAVE ANY SPECIAL SKILLS?: Yes, but they're
better suited to a more intimate environment.
MAY WE CONTACT YOUR CURRENT EMPLOYER?: If I had one,
wouldn't I be there?
DO YOU HAVE ANY PHYSICAL CONDITIONS THAT WOULD
PROHIBIT YOU FROM LIFTING UP TO 50 LBS.?: Of what?
DO YOU HAVE A CAR?: I think the more appropriate
question here would be "Do you have a car that runs?"
HAVE YOU RECEIVED ANY SPECIAL AWARDS OR RECOGNITION?:
I may already be a winner of the Publishers Clearing
house Sweepstakes.
DO YOU SMOKE?: On the job no, on my breaks yes.
WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE DOING IN FIVE YEARS?: Living
in the Bahamas with a fabulously wealthy dumb sexy
blonde supermodel who thinks I'm the greatest thing
since sliced bread. Actually, I'd like to be doing
that
now.
DO YOU CERTIFY THAT THE ABOVE IS TRUE AND COMPLETE TO
THE BEST OF YOUR KNOWLEDGE?: Yes. Absolutely.
SIGN HERE: Aries.
Walmart gave him a job!!!
Welcome to ECF and The Women's Room Debbie! That joke was a bit risque for us!
Glad you joined us, please feel free to join in anywhere. There is a wonderful group of goof balls in here.
thx girls. i have a lot of cut and paste jokes. live and learn .the P.G. is just fine with me. I just laughed so hard when I read that had to share it.
i love to laugh ,smile, vape, eat food ,sex with my man who is my best friend and is so glad i'm a vaper and go on motorcycle runs with him and all the goodies. YAY
Are there any friends of Bill W. in this here forum? I am and I'm 25 years 26 in March.
one of my faves. lol scary funny and true. love Bill Engvall[SIZE=+0]
Number One Idiot of 2008
I am a medical student currently doing a rotation in toxicology at the
poison control centre. Today, this woman called in very upset because
she caught her little daughter eating ants. I quickly reassured her that
the ants are not harmful and there would be no need to bring her
daughter into the hospital. She calmed down and at the end of the
conversation happened to mention that she gave her daughter some ant
poison to eat in order to kill the ants.
I told her that she better bring her daughter in to the emergency room
right away.
Here's your sign, lady. Wear it with pride.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Number Two Idiot of 2008
Early this year, some Boeing employees on the airfield decided to steal
a life raft from one of the 747s. They were successful in getting it out
of the plane and home. Shortly after they took it for a float on the
river, they noticed a Coast Guard helicopter coming toward them. It
turned out that the chopper was homing in on the emergency locater
beacon that activated when the raft was inflated.. They are no longer
employed at Boeing.
Here's your sign, guys. Don't get it wet; the paint might run.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Number Three Idiot of 2008
A man, wanting to rob a downtown Bank of America, walked into the
Branch and wrote this, 'Put all your muny in this bag.' While standing
in line, waiting to give his note to the teller, he began to worry that
someone had seen him write the note and might call the police before he
reached the teller's window. So he left the Bank of America and
crossed the street to the Wells Fargo Bank. After waiting a few minutes
in line, he handed his note to the Wells Fargo teller. She read it
and, surmising from his spelling errors that he wasn't the brightest
light in the harbor, told him that she could not accept his stickup note
because it was written on a Bank of America deposit slip and that he
would either have to fill out a Wells Fargo deposit slip or go back to
Bank of America.
Looking somewhat defeated, the man said, 'OK' and left. He was arrested
a few minutes later, as he was waiting in line back at Bank of America.
Don't bother with this guy's sign. He probably couldn't read it anyway.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Number Four Idiot of 2008
A guy walked into a little corner store with a shotgun and demanded all
of the cash from the cash drawer. After the cashier put the cash in a
bag, the robber saw a bottle of Scotch that he wanted behind the counter
on the shelf. He told the cashier to put it in the bag as well, but the
cashier refused and said, 'Because I don't believe you are over 21.' The
robber said he was, but the clerk still refused to give it to him
because she di dn't believe him. At this point, the robber took his
driver's license out of his wallet and gave it to the clerk.
The clerk looked it over and agreed that the man was in fact over 21
and she put the Scotch in the bag. The robber then ran from the store
with his loot. The cashier promptly called the police and gave the name
and address of the robber that he got off the license. They arrested the
robber two hours later.
This guy definitely needs a sign.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Idiot Number Five of 2008
A pair of Michigan robbers entered a record shop nervously waving
revolvers. The first one shouted, 'Nobody move!' When his partner moved,
the startled first bandit shot him.
This guy doesn't even deserve a sign
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Idiot Number Six of 2008
Arkansas : Seems this guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He decided
that he'd just throw a cinder block through a liquo r store window, grab
some booze, and run. So he lifted the cinder block and heaved it over
his head at the window. The cinder block bounced back knocking him
unconscious. It seems the liquor store window was made of Plexi-Glass.
The whole event was caught on videotape.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Idiot Number Seven of 2008
I live in a semi-rural area ( Weyauwega , Wisconsin ). We
recently had a new neighbor call the local township administrative
office to request the removal of the Deer Crossing sign on our road.
The reason: 'Too many deer are being hit by cars out here! - I don't
think this is a good place for them to be crossing anymore.'
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
STAY ALERT! They walk among us.... and they REPRODUCE...!
[/SIZE]
Welcome back Debbie! I don't know about the Women's Room, but there is a Friends on the board..a whole forum, and by the way Congrats to the max! I am really glad your guy supports you in vaping..that's very important!
Beckah, I think I worked with that guy! 8-o
I am really glad your guy supports you in vaping..that's very important!Beckah, I think I worked with that guy! 8-o
Welcome back Debbie! I don't know about the Women's Room, but there is a Friends on the board..a whole forum, and by the way Congrats to the max!
Beckah, I think I worked with that guy! 8-o
lol thx, and what thread could I find them in? can point me in that direction hopefully.
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