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A Smile for you

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Mary Kay

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Apr 3, 2009
12,873
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West Tampa Fl.

6 TRUTHS OF LIFE


1. You cannot stick your tongue out and look up at the ceiling at the same time.

:p:p:p:p:p:p:p:p:p











2. All crazy people, after reading #1 will try it.


3. And discover #1 is a lie.


4. You are smiling now because you are crazy.


5. You soon will forward this to another crazy person.


6. There is still a stupid smile on your face


I apologize about this but I'm crazy and I needed company
 

Fudgey

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NO! i haven't seen your lipstick!


Why would you even ask me that?


I'm insulted!

Every time something goes missing around here, everybody looks at me!



For your information,
I don't even wear that shade -



it doesn't flatter my complexion

and it tastes terrible


....oops.......




cid_image001_jpg01CB12B2.jpg
 

Mary Kay

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Apr 3, 2009
12,873
2,328
West Tampa Fl.
A nun walks into Mother Superior's office and plunks down into a chair. She lets out a sigh heavy with frustration.

'What troubles you, Sister?' asked the Mother Superior. 'I thought this was the day you spent with your family.'

'It was,' sighed the Sister. 'And I went to play golf with my brother. We try to play golf as often as we can. You know I was quite a talented golfer before I devoted my life to Christ.'

'I seem to recall that,' the Mother Superior agreed. 'So I take it your day of recreation was not relaxing?'

'Far from it,' snorted the Sister. 'In fact, I even took the Lord's name in vain today!' We were on the fifth tee...and this hole is a monster, 540 yard Par 5, with a nasty dog leg left and a hidden green....and I hit the drive of my life. I creamed it. The sweetest swing I ever made. And it's flying straight and true, right along the line I wanted...and it hits a bird in mid-flight!'

'Oh my!', commiserated the Mother. 'How



unfortunate! But surely that didn't make you
blaspheme, Sister!'

'No, that wasn't it,' admitted Sister. 'While I was still trying to fathom what had happened, this squirrel runs out of the woods, grabs my ball and runs off down the fairway!'

'Oh, that would have made me blaspheme!' sympathized the Mother.

'But I didn't, Mother!' sobbed the Sister. 'And I was so proud of myself! And while I was pondering whether this was a sign from God, this hawk swoops out of the sky and grabs the squirrel and flies off, with my ball still clutched in his paws!'

'So that's when you cursed,' said the Mother with a knowing smile.




'Nope, that wasn't it either,' cried the Sister, anguished, 'because as the hawk started to fly out of sight, the squirrel started struggling, and the hawk dropped him right there on the green, and the ball popped out of his paws and rolled to about 18 inches from the cup!'

Mother Superior sat back in her chair, folded her arms across her chest, fixed the Sister with a baleful stare and said... 'You missed the @#**%@#$#@ putt, didn't you?'
 

Mary Kay

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Apr 3, 2009
12,873
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West Tampa Fl.
This has to be one of the best singles ads ever printed. It is reported to have been listed in the Atlanta Journal.


SINGLE BLACK FEMALE seeks male companionship, ethnicity unimportant. I'm a very good girl who LOVES to play. I love long walks in the woods, riding in your pickup truck, hunting, camping and fishing trips, cozy winter nights lying by the fire. Candlelight dinners will have me eating out of your hand. I'll be at the front door when you get home from work, wearing only what nature gave me... Call (404) 875-6420 and ask for Annie, I'll be waiting.....


Scroll Down














dog44.jpg

Over 150 men found themselves talking to the Atlanta Humane Society.[/B]








 
Last edited:

Mary Kay

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West Tampa Fl.
Check for Alzheimer's - Pretty Amazing

The following was developed as a mental age assessment by the School of
Psychiatry at Harvard University . Take your time and see if you can read
each line aloud without a mistake.

The average person over 50 years of age cannot do it!

1. This is this cat.
2. This is is cat.
3. This is how cat.
4. This is to cat.
5. This is keep cat.
6. This is an cat.
7. This is old cat.
8. This is fart cat.
9. This is busy cat.
10. This is for cat.
11. This is forty cat..
12. This is seconds cat.

Now go back and read the third word in each line from the top down.














 

WOW

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May 14, 2010
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Haha! 12 seconds! My mind is still working....now what was it I just did?

Check for Alzheimer's - Pretty Amazing

The following was developed as a mental age assessment by the School of
Psychiatry at Harvard University . Take your time and see if you can read
each line aloud without a mistake.

The average person over 50 years of age cannot do it!

1. This is this cat.
2. This is is cat.
3. This is how cat.
4. This is to cat.
5. This is keep cat.
6. This is an cat.
7. This is old cat.
8. This is fart cat.
9. This is busy cat.
10. This is for cat.
11. This is forty cat..
12. This is seconds cat.

Now go back and read the third word in each line from the top down.










 

WOW

Super Member
ECF Veteran
May 14, 2010
640
0
CA
Wow, you just wasted 12 seconds of you life...lol!

LOL! I actually wasted 42 - I spent a least 1/2 minute watching the animated kitten play with the animated ball of yarn. Maybe 52 trying to figure what that other cat was chewing on :laugh:

Hell, even animated, those darn cats are just too adorable (like them better on-line - no litter boxes!) :glare:

:2cool:
 
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