A Smile for you
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The doctor, after an examination, sighed and said, 'I've got some bad news. You
have cancer, and you'd best put your affairs in order.'
The woman was shocked, but managed to compose herself and walk into the waiting
room where her daughter had been waiting.
'Well, daughter, we women celebrate when things are good, and we celebrate when
things don't go so well. In this case, things aren't well. I have cancer. So,
let's head to the club and have a martini.'
After 3 or 4 martinis, the two were feeling a little less somber. There were
some laughs and more martinis.
They were eventually approached by some of the woman's old friends, who were
curious as to what the two were celebrating. The woman told her friends they
were drinking to her impending end, 'I've been diagnosed with AIDS.'
The friends were aghast, gave the woman their condolences and beat a hasty
retreat.
After the friends left, the woman's daughter leaned over and whispered, 'Momma,
I thought you said you were dying of cancer, and you just told your friends you
were dying of AIDS! Why did you do that?'
'Because I don't want any of those witches sleeping with your father after I'm
gone.'
And THAT, my friends, is what is called,
'Putting Your Affairs In Order.'
have cancer, and you'd best put your affairs in order.'
The woman was shocked, but managed to compose herself and walk into the waiting
room where her daughter had been waiting.
'Well, daughter, we women celebrate when things are good, and we celebrate when
things don't go so well. In this case, things aren't well. I have cancer. So,
let's head to the club and have a martini.'
After 3 or 4 martinis, the two were feeling a little less somber. There were
some laughs and more martinis.
They were eventually approached by some of the woman's old friends, who were
curious as to what the two were celebrating. The woman told her friends they
were drinking to her impending end, 'I've been diagnosed with AIDS.'
The friends were aghast, gave the woman their condolences and beat a hasty
retreat.
After the friends left, the woman's daughter leaned over and whispered, 'Momma,
I thought you said you were dying of cancer, and you just told your friends you
were dying of AIDS! Why did you do that?'
'Because I don't want any of those witches sleeping with your father after I'm
gone.'
And THAT, my friends, is what is called,
'Putting Your Affairs In Order.'
TEACHER: Glenn, how do you spell 'crocodile?'
GLENN: K-R-O-K-O-D-I-A-L'
TEACHER: No, that's wrong
GLENN: Maybe it is wrong, but you asked me how I spell it.
GLENN: K-R-O-K-O-D-I-A-L'
TEACHER: No, that's wrong
GLENN: Maybe it is wrong, but you asked me how I spell it.
Why men shouldn't take phone messages...
Honey,
someone from the
Gyna Colleges called.
They said the
Pabst Beer is normal.
...I didn't know you liked beer....
Honey,
someone from the
Gyna Colleges called.
They said the
Pabst Beer is normal.
...I didn't know you liked beer....
She should have replied "I love beer..go get some and take the long way around coming back!" men!
My daughter the Principal list kid..when in 5th grade was asked where Moose live. She replied "Lodges". The teacher called to say she really, really wanted to give her an "A" for making her laugh! I told the teacher that the moose Lodge was just behind us on the main road. LOL
Fun thing to do:
When leaving the zoo, start running for the parking lot yelling
"Run for your lives !!! They are loose !!!"
When leaving the zoo, start running for the parking lot yelling
"Run for your lives !!! They are loose !!!"
Classwife...... you instigator!!!
Ok, silly joke but it's short enough that a joke-challenged person like me could remember it:
A skeleton walks into a bar and orders a beer and a mop.
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