Anecdotes

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Torqueguy

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A hooded robber burst into a Minnesota bank and forced the tellers to load a sack full of cash.
On his way out the door, a brave Minnesota customer grabbed the hood and pulled it off, revealing the robbers face. The robber shot the customer without a moments hesitation.
He then looked around the bank and noticed one of the tellers looking straight at him. The robber instantly shot him also. Everyone in the bank, by now very scared, looked intently down at the floor in silence.
The robber yelled, "Well, did anyone else see my face?"
There are a few moments of utter silence in which everyone was plainly to afraid to speak.
Then, one old Norwegian named Ole from Minnesota tentatively raised his hand and said, "My wife got a pretty good look at you."
 

fright88

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LOL good one.

Hope this isn't to adult but here we go.

President Obama asked a blonde, brunette , and a redhead how much it would cost to have sex with them.
The redhead said "$200"
The blonde said "$100"
The brunette reoplied "Mr. President, if you can get my skirt up as high as my taxes, my panties as low as my wages, get your penis as hard as the times we're living in now and keep it rising like our gas prices,and screw me the way you have the retirees, it won't cost you a cent!!"
 

imeothanasis

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A hooded robber burst into a Minnesota bank and forced the tellers to load a sack full of cash.
On his way out the door, a brave Minnesota customer grabbed the hood and pulled it off, revealing the robbers face. The robber shot the customer without a moments hesitation.
He then looked around the bank and noticed one of the tellers looking straight at him. The robber instantly shot him also. Everyone in the bank, by now very scared, looked intently down at the floor in silence.
The robber yelled, "Well, did anyone else see my face?"
There are a few moments of utter silence in which everyone was plainly to afraid to speak.
Then, one old Norwegian named Ole from Minnesota tentatively raised his hand and said, "My wife got a pretty good look at you."

hahahahaha, clever man, easy fix :lol::lol::lol:
 

imeothanasis

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LOL good one.

Hope this isn't to adult but here we go.

President Obama asked a blonde, brunette , and a redhead how much it would cost to have sex with them.
The redhead said "$200"
The blonde said "$100"
The brunette reoplied "Mr. President, if you can get my skirt up as high as my taxes, my panties as low as my wages, get your penis as hard as the times we're living in now and keep it rising like our gas prices,and screw me the way you have the retirees, it won't cost you a cent!!"

hahahaha, fright, that was a very good one. As I see it you have the same problems as we have here in Greece. Hign taxes and increased prices. What the f..ck is going around the world??!
 

ChaosAffect

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It's the decline and fall of Capitalism, Imeo. 100 years from now they'll laugh at us for thinking there'd be infinite new markets to expand in to. There aren't. When those are gone the entire system's going to collapse.
hahahaha, fright, that was a very good one. As I see it you have the same problems as we have here in Greece. Hign taxes and increased prices. What the f..ck is going around the world??!
 

ChaosAffect

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Agreed. If you ever read any Utopian future fiction the system is always some version of socialism. The big problem with that is that it takes maturity and empathy for it to work. Not a whole lot of that in our world right now.
Chaos, the thing is that capitalism isnt the best system. In fact I dont like it at all. But the main issue are people as usual
 

imeothanasis

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We need serious governors at first. The second and bigger issue is that globalism doesnt give the oportunity to a nation to go forward because governors depend on other governors. So even if a governor wants to do some good sometimes other governor stop him because of their interests. Its a real mess Chaos. The ball is big and noone can unbraid it.
 

Torqueguy

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Socialism would work great if people weren't involved. For now, Capitalism is the only thing that works. Is it perfect? No, but it's been around for a long time and nothing better has come by. What should we do, re-distribute wealth? Look up Cuba during Castro on youtube and you'll see example after example of top Cuban diplomats and party leaders. Castro had a person just dedicated to flying to Spain and France to buy him cheese and ham while his people didn't have toilet paper.

I'm not saying Socialism doesn't work in theory, I'm saying it doesn't work in practice
 

imeothanasis

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You are right Torque.

Also I think the best regime is monarchy. One man that desides for everything. But the bad thing is when a silly monarch comes. Like Castro as you said. I have to say that you have to have a very strong mind to stay as cool as you are now after you receive the power. But if you have a strong mind you will never become a politician. So there is no real solution for me. Only if you become a freak you can raise the steps of "success". Only if you become a freak you can rule the world.

There are 3 real solutions here. Jesus is the one of them. Superman is the second. People is the third. But when people were all together?
 

Torqueguy

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Correct. As humans, we are imperfect to begin with. As long as there are two people on this earth, one guy is going to want more, work less etc etc than the other guy. It's in our nature. Winston Churchill said a long time ago;

"If you're not a liberal when you're young, you have no heart. If you're not a conservative when you're old, you have no brain"

I was a hippie back in the early 70's, flower power, anti establishment and all that stuff. One day I realized that if I didn't fend for myself, my hippie friends would not feed my children.

I guess my point is that corruption and apathy are human traits, not necessarily political party traits. No matter who is in charge or what party, there will be someone trying to dominate the other. That is our lot in life as humans.

I hope Heaven will be better.


You are right Torque.

Also I think the best regime is monarchy. One man that desides for everything. But the bad thing is when a silly monarch comes. Like Castro as you said. I have to say that you have to have a very strong mind to stay as cool as you are now after you receive the power. But if you have a strong mind you will never become a politician. So there is no real solution for me. Only if you become a freak you can raise the steps of "success". Only if you become a freak you can rule the world.

There are 3 real solutions here. Jesus is the one of them. Superman is the second. People is the third. But when people were all together?
 

wfarrar33

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Correct. As humans, we are imperfect to begin with. As long as there are two people on this earth, one guy is going to want more, work less etc etc than the other guy. It's in our nature. Winston Churchill said a long time ago;

"If you're not a liberal when you're young, you have no heart. If you're not a conservative when you're old, you have no brain"

I was a hippie back in the early 70's, flower power, anti establishment and all that stuff. One day I realized that if I didn't fend for myself, my hippie friends would not feed my children.

I guess my point is that corruption and apathy are human traits, not necessarily political party traits. No matter who is in charge or what party, there will be someone trying to dominate the other. That is our lot in life as humans.

I hope Heaven will be better.


so do I my friend
 

wfarrar33

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Ill stick to the political theme we have got going on here:



A little boy goes to his dad and asks, "What is politics?"

Dad says, "Well son, let me try to explain it this way: I'm the breadwinner of the family, so let's call me capitalism. Your Mom, she's the administrator of the money, so we'll call her the Government. We're here to take care of your needs, so we'll call you the people. The nanny, we'll consider her the Working Class. And your baby brother, we'll call him the Future. Now, think about that and see if that makes sense,"

So the little boy goes off to bed thinking about what dad had said.

Later that night, he hears his baby brother crying, so he gets up to check on him. He finds that the baby has severely soiled his diaper. So the little boy goes to his parents' room and finds his mother sound asleep. Not wanting to wake her, he goes to the nanny's room. Finding the door locked, he peeks in the keyhole and sees his father in bed with the nanny. He gives up and goes back to bed. The next morning, the little boy says to his father, "Dad, I think I understand the concept of politics now."

The father says, "Good son, tell me in your own words what you think politics is all about."

The little boy replies, "Well, while Capitalism is screwing the Working Class, the Government is sound asleep, the People are being ignored and the Future is in deep poo."
 

wfarrar33

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Cows & Politics Explained

A CHRISTIAN DEMOCRAT: You have two cows. You keep one and give one to your neighbor.

A SOCIALIST: You have two cows. The government takes one and gives it to your neighbor.

AN AMERICAN REPUBLICAN: You have two cows. Your neighbor has none. So what?

AN AMERICAN DEMOCRAT: You have two cows. Your neighbor has none. You feel guilty for being successful. You vote people into office who tax your cows, forcing you to sell one to raise money to pay the tax. The people you voted for then take the tax money and buy a cow and give it to your neighbor. You feel righteous.

A COMMUNIST: You have two cows. The government seizes both and provides you with milk.

A FASCIST: You have two cows. The government seizes both and sells you the milk. You join the underground and start a campaign of sabotage.

DEMOCRACY, AMERICAN STYLE: You have two cows. The government taxes you to the point you have to sell both to support a man in a foreign country who has only one cow, which was a gift from your government.

CAPITALISM, AMERICAN STYLE: You have two cows. You sell one, buy a bull, and build a herd of cows.

BUREAUCRACY, AMERICAN STYLE: You have two cows. The government takes them both, shoots one, milks the other, pays you for the milk, then pours the milk down the drain.

AN AMERICAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows. You are surprised when the cow drops dead.

A FRENCH CORPORATION: You have two cows. You go on strike because you want three cows.

A JAPANESE CORPORATION: You have two cows. You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk. You then create clever cow cartoon images called Cowkimon and market them World-Wide.

A GERMAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You reengineer them so they live for 100 years, eat once a month, and milk themselves.

A BRITISH CORPORATION: You have two cows. They are mad. They die. Pass the shepherd's pie, please.

AN ITALIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows, but you don't know where they are. You break for lunch.

A RUSSIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You count them and learn you have five cows. You count them again and learn you have 42 cows. You count them again and learn you have 12 cows. You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka.

A SWISS CORPORATION: You have 5000 cows, none of which belong to you. You charge others for storing them.

A BRAZILIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You enter into a partnership with an American corporation. Soon you have 1000 cows and the American corporation declares bankruptcy.

AN INDIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You worship both of them.

A CHINESE CORPORATION: You have two cows. You have 300 people milking them. You claim full employment, high bovine productivity, and arrest the newsman who reported on them.

AN ISRAELI CORPORATION: There are these two Jewish cows, right? They open a milk factory, an ice cream store, and then sell the movie rights. They send their calves to Harvard to become doctors. So, who needs people?
 
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