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Anyone diagnosed Bipolar?

Discussion in 'Wellness: Wrecked & Bonkers' started by jiveman, Aug 27, 2010.

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  1. jiveman

    jiveman Super Member ECF Veteran

    Supporting member
    Jul 22, 2010
    usa
    How do you all deal. I'm currently in a very down period in my life, but i'm more prone to manic episodes. It's been about 2 weeks of deep depression, but I know any second I could be flyin' high with unlimited energy and not enough things to do.

    Do you feel it's a curse or blessing? When I'm manic, and luckily more often than not, it feels like being on coke. Every time it suddenly appears it's actually a great feeling, probably the best "high" you can get.

    But it gets us into trouble, that's for sure. It's only good for a short period of time before you start acting impulsively and losing control of yourself.

    I think "mixed states" are the worst, where you can't sit still, feeling like crawling out of your own skin. It's a very desperate feeling, like you're really down in your thoughts but have so much energy that you contemplate a number of unhealthy things to try and deal with the feelings.

    I think the worst part is not being able to sustain relationships because you normally go into them in a manic state, charming them to bits, full of life, only to leave them high and dry when you get low and can't help but inform them of how they're nothing like you--that it makes you uncomfortable having them around you, etc.

    Then having your mind change completely within a few weeks, fighting temptation to lead them on any further,... knowing full well that the process will repeat itself.

    So strange. I wish I could handle the meds sometimes so I could stay even keel, but they made me too much of a zombie. I had to toss 'em. (and I tried every combo out there, trust me. It wasn't about finding the right combination, meds just aren't my thing).

    Anyways. Good day to all, and feel free to share what you like/don't like about this illness, or anything Bipolar related.
     
  2. jude8753

    jude8753 Super Member Verified Member ECF Veteran

    Apr 30, 2010
    PA
    jiveRock, I'm so sorry. My Son was Bipolar and he had a really rough time and so did I dealing with it because I am Unipolar (always down.) He was in his teens when he was diagnosed. He wasn't good with relationships either or the drugs even though he tried many plus many of the nonlegal ones. I wish I could help, but I couldn't help him either. I do sympathize with you however because I know the torment he went through, he died two years ago from Cancer at 38. Life is a learning process and it's not easy for everyone even though I have met a few that seem to just sail through. I will certainly say a prayer for you, but I sometimes wonder if mine are heard.
     
  3. Nighthawk

    Nighthawk Super Member ECF Veteran

    Jun 4, 2010
    Southeast Texas
    (((hugs))) to you both. One of my son's many diagnosis is Bipolar. And my cousin and my best friends' exhusband- we all went to high school together. I've worked in the psych wards too and see it all first hand. It sucks. a lot. They are coming out with new meds all the time. They are also working on a cure using gene thearapy. It may be a long time coming, but think of all the suffering it will stop! I keep praying they will hurry up.
    I wish I knew something to tell you. My son's psychosis, bipolar, ausburger's, whatever.... has really torn up my entire family and my life in particular. I know it's not his fault. But it makes life so very hard on all of us, him included. Only thing I can think of is to keep a journal of how you're feeling, when you're feeling it. Maybe leave yourself notes to read when you feel like you're getting near an edge? Wish I could help more, for you, my son, myself, anyone. Hang in there. PM me if you need to talk.
     
  4. jiveman

    jiveman Super Member ECF Veteran

    Supporting member
    Jul 22, 2010
    usa
    thank you both for the relating words on this disorder.

    i'm sorry it has had to affect you both, it really does consume everyone and everything around the individual diagnosed. takes a lot out of us all, and you're both very strong for managing the chaos it has produced in your lives.

    i, and i hope you, just hold on to occasional moments when things have worked out, and try to keep those memories alive. the moments when the bipolar individual is connected and in their best state of mind. we wish strongly to remain in those moments, but i suppose just that they were possible at some point is enough and shows how we do really care, regardless of our actions that appear selfish or unkind.

    it's always a struggle to maintain credibility. it's so often seen as a cop out for selfish, rude, unkind, unjust behaviors, but we pay the consequences ten fold as our entire lives are stripped of all that is worth living for.

    we're so often having to suppress everything with drugs or fabricated beliefs about ourselves to keep from totally losing control.

    i hope inner peace has/will come to both of you. sorry for your losses and struggles.
     
  5. Nighthawk

    Nighthawk Super Member ECF Veteran

    Jun 4, 2010
    Southeast Texas
    Thank you so much for your kind words! I try really hard to keep seeing my precious sweet loving little child underneath all the other.... Some days I am more sucessful than others. As much as any of us suffer from it externally, what hurts more is knowing he is suffering more, and there is little I can do to help him. Seeing your own child in agony, mental or physical to a mother.... well there is not a whole lot worse you could do to hurt a mom than that.
    Know that we're all here with you, up or down, or sideways. (((hugs)))
     
  6. jewelly

    jewelly Full Member

    I sympathize with all of you and my heart aches for you jiveRock. I am bipolar also. I am a rapid cycler and have had mixed states also. My father completed suicide at the same time I was diagnosed although I went for years undiagnosed. I also have my own family. It has been hard but I have worked with a very good medical team and I have been able to manage the bipolar so that really nobody would ever suspect there is anything the matter with me now, but it really was a stuggle for quite a few years. Icontinue to be monitered very closely. I encourage you to keep trying. There are people out there who can help. Good Luck!
     
  7. jj2

    jj2 Moved On ECF Veteran

    May 30, 2009
    Hundred Acre Wood
    I've always wished I understood this more. I have a brother who is bipolar and sometimes he just scares the crap out of people....me included.
     
  8. Nighthawk

    Nighthawk Super Member ECF Veteran

    Jun 4, 2010
    Southeast Texas
    It IS scary, for everyone, including the person who has it. I wish it was better understood by dr's. That it would have walk-a-thons, funding drives, race for the cures. It's so devestating, you'd think itd get more attention.
     
  9. jojogardener

    jojogardener Resting In Peace ECF Veteran

    Feb 11, 2010
    Northeast
    I know how hard it is.
    Although I dont have Bipolar, in a way I do, as I am the mother of a bipolar son. It has been an incredible difficult journey for him.
    Most ppl that know or meet my son do not know that there is an issue as he ( fortunately ) has found the right combo of medication and therapy .
    Please take note, although it is a chronic illness, Einstein had it and you know how he turned out!
    Based on what Ive seen from the signatures you have created for members here at ECF you are blessed with an incredible knack for art and through it can identify the very essence of that person. Incredible!
    Finding the right doctor/medication/support can be most difficult, but dont give up...... remember YOU are an incredible human.
    biggest hugs ever ((((()))))))))))
    jojo
     
  10. son et lumiere

    son et lumiere Vaping Master ECF Veteran

    Dec 30, 2009
    Earth
    I don't really feel like talking about this in public but I am bi polar and I am now stable on meds if you have any questions PM me.
     
  11. jiveman

    jiveman Super Member ECF Veteran

    Supporting member
    Jul 22, 2010
    usa
    def mixed state manic right now. i think a trip to the liquor store is in order unfortunately since i don't have any meds anymore lol two days off work and too much time to myself. gotta calm my silly ... down. have a work meeting to get through first..sitting still in a room while manager talks about nothing important...god help me. at least i've got some juice comin' in the mail today ! :)
     
  12. Nighthawk

    Nighthawk Super Member ECF Veteran

    Jun 4, 2010
    Southeast Texas
    If you want to talk about it more privately, pm me, trukinlady or jj2 and we will send you the key to the private area. Sometimes it helps to vent, or just get some extra support. You are brave & strong and so very blessed to have gotten stable. So many people can't.
     
  13. Nighthawk

    Nighthawk Super Member ECF Veteran

    Jun 4, 2010
    Southeast Texas
    Hang in there JiveRock. Don't over-self-medicate. (((hugs)))
     
  14. son et lumiere

    son et lumiere Vaping Master ECF Veteran

    Dec 30, 2009
    Earth
    Thanks I think going to church had a lot to do with and changing my lifestyle.
     
  15. jj2

    jj2 Moved On ECF Veteran

    May 30, 2009
    Hundred Acre Wood
    Pretty much how my DH deals with things. God can help in so many ways.
    The offer is always open, just ask for the password.
     
  16. Nighthawk

    Nighthawk Super Member ECF Veteran

    Jun 4, 2010
    Southeast Texas
    that's wonderful! I am truly happy for you! We're here if you ever need us. (((hugs)))
     
  17. jj2

    jj2 Moved On ECF Veteran

    May 30, 2009
    Hundred Acre Wood
    Nighthawk, don't read the comment in Daily comments I just posted, it might keep you awake.:shock:
     
  18. Nighthawk

    Nighthawk Super Member ECF Veteran

    Jun 4, 2010
    Southeast Texas
    That's like telling someone not to think about pink elephants! lol
     
  19. jj2

    jj2 Moved On ECF Veteran

    May 30, 2009
    Hundred Acre Wood
    At least wait until the morning!!!
     
  20. four2109

    four2109 Ultra Member Verified Member ECF Veteran

    May 9, 2009
    S. Indiana
    Hey JJ, Here is a link you might be interested in. I can't vouch for the classes yet since the session I am taking just started, but they should have them all over your state.

    Family-to-Family
     
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