I'm making progress. It's easy to tell by how far I can reach compared to just a couple of weeks ago. That's why I was so devastated by the doctor's pronouncement. I thought I was doing so well, and instead, he said I'd need another operation. That really took the wind out of my sails! Over the last couple of weeks, I've started to feel better about it. I still thought I might need another operation, but I was getting used to the idea. I also realized that I've come a long way as far as flexibility and use of my arm, but I still have a long way to go. Sometimes I just get impatient and say, "All right already! I just want to be back to normal!" Then I realize that many people will never be back to normal, and even having that possibility is a blessing. I guess my mood about it all veers from being impatient that I'm not all healed by now with a determination to just keep working on those exercises and notice the progress I do make. I haven't thought lately about further surgery, and when I do, it's in a sort of unemotional way, not like when I first heard the news. I am dealing with it the best I can, I think. Mostly, I'm in a plucky mode, focused on stretching just a little bit farther when I do my exercises or reach for something on a shelf. I'm the kind of person who rises to a challenge, if the challenge isn't hopeless. And the physical therapy is giving me a lot more body awareness. It's interesting, and it's incredibly similar to the kind of body awareness that riding lessons gave me. I had a riding instructor who used the Centered Riding technique, and that's based on a lot of body work and tai chi, and stuff like that. Very New Age. When I do the exercises, it's important I hold my body in a particular way, just like riding. I'm amazed at the similarities, and I'm thinking the PT exercises may actually help my horsemanship. So that's where my head's at these days.
old mate says hes going to buy me a lab coat ...he said now ive took mad scientist to a whole new level.....yeah right old mate....
