Once again, I drop an uninvited tale for no apparent reason (Happy Birthday Roland)
This story begins in the middle. I had a cat, or at least she had me.... By description, she was a russian blue (note the lack of capitals). She was a very beautiful cat with a very calm nature, with lovely green eyes and soft blue (looking) fur. We got along quite well. She knew when I had treats for her, I knew when she was about to allow me to pet her (you do know cats right?) and we got along famously. She'd rid the house of rodents (mostly by scaring them to death and allowing me to pick up the supposed carcass) (who, upon occasion whould lift a head and look at me as I shushed it) to toss it out the front door. We were pals and we got along famously. I thought....
Then, I ended up having someone move in with me. When you have a person of the female persuasion move in and suddenly, the toilet seat is no longer left up, one gets to experience, in the middle of the night, an unexpected noise and you hear, in kitty language, (O%&^(*&^%^&*^%(*)&^ YOU ! ! ! ! ! stupid human peasant ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! )
One is "allowed" to see, crawling out, not over the seat, but under the seat, with a loud lowwww gutteral growl and a look that could chill belezebub himself - and there's nothing you can do to make it better, a wet.... "critter"..... who is apparently a bit "miffed". In the morning, when all should be forgotten, you try to walk out of the bedroom door and there's the "Kat newly arrived from Hell" (someone I used to share my lap and all things kitty preferenced) laying in your path, across the doorway, daring you to even move. "NO, you're not allowed into MY house anymore. Look at what you did to me. I still have damp behind my ears and it will never go away - you shall NOT be forgiven". In kitty language that is easy to understand to even the least of the uninitiated.
Did you know that you can't beg forgiveness from a cat who's never had anything but store bought food. You can't give her raw meat or a fresh fish. She knows where the catnip is so you can't use that - she already has it whenever she wants it - she knows all of the hiding places. If you've brought your cat up properly, she can NOT be bribed. She is a force unto herself and all you can do is be afraid - be very afraid. One would think that a cute kitty couldn't possibly hold a grudge - do not kid yourself. That kitty can make your life miserable and she'll spend her days doing just that. I've heard that a cat sleeps 17 hours a day. That's a cat that isn't on a mission. A cat on a mission only sleeps when she runs out of ideas. Never tick a cat off to the point where she's on a mission. And I do mean She. Males tend to write off stupidity - they get even quickly and it's over. They'll hit you or scratch you or make a meal of your little toe while you're asleep and then... it's done. Females... not so much....
So, I'm living with a cat, that I brought home, I rescued for god's sake, I nurtured, I took care of, that I introduced to raccoons ('nother story) and she now hates me. FOREVER
...then...
One night, cold, dark, miserable, wet, stormy, loud, obnoxious, thundery, wet again night, a knock comes at the door - no raven involved, just some little kid holding a clone of my rather large cat. She wanted to know if it was my cat because it looked like my cat and her mother thought it might be my cat so she was trying to be a nice neighbor and return my cat to me. And my cat is sitting on the back of my chair looking at all this (still hating me). Well, I couldn't let the poor little thing go back outside into the cold where it was crying at strangers' doors so I explained that it wasn't my cat but I would take care of it until its home was found. I dried it off in the hallway with a couple of towels and there it stood - terrified (it, not me) because its larger mirror version was standing, now on the ground, two feet away, and without a sound,
threatening it with death worse than.... well really bad, violent death.
Being me, and the usual kind of host I was, I dragged a few things into the living room and stated: Okay - here's food, here's water and here's a litter box - you guys figure it out for yourselves, I've had enough drama for the night. I then plunked myself down in my chair to watch TV and whatever other show was about to happen on the floor in front of me. It didn't take all that long for the Blue to start cleaning up the kitten and they were both pretty happy after a bit. Everyone got to eat, drink and use the litter (I left it all in the living room that night). It seems, at that point, I was forgiven for someone else (who had left) leaving the toilet seat down. To this day, I don't know whether I was right or wrong....
I had to go on a trip for a while a few days later. I was used to leaving the cat(s) alone and just leaving feed and water around so they wouldn't have any problems. I left. I returned a couple of days later to find the new kitten laying in my recliner with apparent rats attached to it. She was a little kitten when she came in, a couple of weeks before. It never occurred to me that I would return to find her looking at me, as I walked through the door, kind of appologetic, with kittens attached to her. I've never dealt with kittens - ever. I wasn't happy (it was near midnight). But I made calls to find out what kind of food the kitten "mommy" was supposed to be eating and dealt with it all (many many days of the stupidest crap I've probably ever had to deal with). Eventually, the kittens were farmed out and the vets that were involved pronounced that they were in great health and had no problems but that didn't help my nerves. I'd grown used to the little leeches clawing their way up my pantlegs just because I was somebody they were supposed to like. For the life of me, I dont' know what it is/was about me that these animals find attractive. I personally think they're all a bit crazy....
hookers at home......im sure awsums lovely wife would love that (NOT)
I loved the short film. Wish that Liu guy could make it a full length one.
moonbeam decides its time..i awake after only a few hours sleep..to her paws around my neck...and little crys of pain...at first I thought I was dreaming...but no....omg!!! shes having the kittens on my chest....im frozen....I had 2 placers for her to give birth and she knew it...I scream for help to my drunken hung over friends...your dreaming deb....go back to sleep...on that note...moon...turns her body around...I get a close encounter of the big time....
