Cigarette Newbie

[beckyblue]

...I threw out about 20 pipes and a few tins of Dunhill Nightcap...

Seriously, work hard and you can buy it all back, man. You've come to the right place. We can help you through the grief of such a loss.

 

[jtpjc]

It's okay dude, you don't have to confess the past, we're here for you. It will be baby steps at first, but we can help you give up that vaping habit. {{hugs}}

You're so right. Please ignore my last response. It's so easy to become all arrogant and wiseacre. I wish you all the luck SnakeFarm {{kisses}}!!

 

[The Ocelot]

...wiseacre...

??? Don't you get 40 of those with a mule? Or is it 40 mules and one of those? I still haven't thought of names for all 20 of the first ones. I was thinking of naming them alphabetically, but if there are 40 I will have to start over at 24 and might get confused. Are there more letters in Netherlandish?


ETA: I know I could name them in Canadian, but I don't know how to pronounce runes.

 

[bnrkwest]

Oh I did the dumbest thing! I was plugging in my cell phone to charge and absent mindedly plugged in my cigar to charge, but it was lit! I had a major fire going on but the smoke was immense and I had a real fun time inhaling all that smoke, you gotta try it! Just use an old vape charger you have sitting around!

 

[beckyblue]

Are there more letters in Netherlandish?

Silly kitty, the name of the country is the Netherlands; they speak Portuguese!

 

[Ref Minor]

I tried milking the camel to get some urine but it kicked me

 

[SnakeFarm]

Hey, no disrespect intended. I'm actually thinking about returning to the fold. I mean sure, vaping saves me a lot of money, but relatives are starting to ask me for loans! I haven't been sick for two years, so I get like ZERO sympathy, and nobody even notices how I smell any more; except for when I was vaping some pretty staunch maple and this girl told me I smelled like a freaking "PANCAKE." Pfft!

 

[bnrkwest]

I hear you!! LOL

Help, I keep starting replies in other threads and then deleting them when I realise the other people are actually being serious in those threads. Reality is starting to blur.

 

[bnrkwest]

I hear those unfiltered camels have a real kick

I tried milking the camel to get some urine but it kicked me

 

[jtpjc]

I'm wondering... I think we should develop some sort of program... to get people off of vaping... and convert them to smoking... we could call it Analog Anonymous (AA)... of course, they would still be addicted to vaping... for the rest of their lives... but they could stay abstinent, thanks to cigarettes... don't know, but I think 12 steps would be sufficient to reach this goal...

 

[The Ocelot]

Silly kitty, the name of the country is the Netherlands; they speak Portuguese!

Oh silly me! I was never good at geometry.

 

[Ref Minor]

Hey, no disrespect intended. I'm actually thinking about returning to the fold. I mean sure, vaping saves me a lot of money, but relatives are starting to ask me for loans! I haven't been sick for two years, so I get like ZERO sympathy, and nobody even notices how I smell any more; except for when I was vaping some pretty staunch maple and this girl told me I smelled like a freaking "PANCAKE." Pfft!

It is a known fact that a musk of aged cigarette smoke is the ultimate aphrodisiac for the fairer sex.

 

[jtpjc]

It is a known fact that a musk of aged cigarette smoke is the ultimate aphrodisiac for the fairer sex.

Especially with the smell of stale beer.

 

[The Ocelot]

I'm wondering... I think we should develop some sort of program... to get people off of vaping... and convert them to smoking... we could call it Analog Anonymous (AA)... of course, they would still be addicted to vaping... for the rest of their lives... but they could stay abstinent, thanks to cigarettes... don't know, but I think 12 steps would be sufficient to reach this goal...

Shouldn't it be VA (Vapers Anonymous)? Actually, that might get confusing with the brave men and women who defend our country against the Canadians and leather sheep. How about VUFNLWBTAACB (Vapers Using Fake Names Like We'd Believe They Are All Called Bob)?

 

[e-pipeman]

I see a mermaid crashing into a wall at the price of B and H and the subsequent yellow finger syndrome poorly medicated with a bandaid.
Tres Bon. Non.

It isn't a pipe. No, it isn't. Oh blimey!

 

[e-pipeman]

That's surrealism for you. It's all good.

(I love being intellectual.)

No - you just think you do. (See what I just did?)

 

[e-pipeman]

Help, I keep starting replies in other threads and then deleting them when I realise the other people are actually being serious in those threads. Reality is starting to blur.

That is reality.

 

[jtpjc]

Shouldn't it be VA (Vapers Anonymous)?

Of course not. They are not vaping anymore, are they?

 

[SnakeFarm]

Ok, good Idea. Here's a first draft:

1. We admitted that we were just fooling ourselves about vaping, that it was worse than smoking actual tobacco because; reasons.
2. Came to believe that we were right, no matter what you say.
3. Made a decision to turn over or lives, fortunes and our Sacred Honor to Big Tobacco.
4. Made a long list of crap we might like to do something about someday.
5. Admitted more stuff to God, to ourselves, and to others who probably didn't want to hear it either.
6. Were ready to have God solve our vaping problem.
7. Humbly asked Him to solve all our other problems too.
8. Made a list of all of the people we got hooked on vaping.
9. Made amends to anybody we had gotten hooked on vaping by buying them a carton of their favorite REAL CIGARETTES.
10. Continued to make lists of crap that we might like to do something about someday.
11. Sought through sarcasm and snarkiness to improve our self appraisal.
12. Having had a major Hinayana Style Cluster Epiphany as a result of these steps, we found it necessary to publish our self congratulatory musings at every opportunity.

 

[jtpjc]

No - you just think you do. (See what I just did?)

Damn. Double damn (10 chars).