Cigarette Newbie

[e-pipeman]

my mother is starting to grow a bit of a beard now that she's old, i'll strike a few on her chin next time i see her. speaking of which, is 73 too old to take up smoking? it breaks my heart to see her using her oxygen mask as a driptip

You're NEVER to old. Tell that to James Gandolfini.

 

[Ref Minor]

You're NEVER to old. Tell that to James Gandolfini.

Without the daily essential tars he absorbed through his cigar smoking, he would have gone even earlier, a lesson to us all.

 

[The Ocelot]

I've been using matches for about 4 months, but looking to upgrade to something with an adjustable flame. Please advise.

OMG! Another synchronicity! I swear I was just thinking about this last night while I was trying to find a cherry that fell between the couch cushions. Would an adjustable flame make my smoking better? Would I get more TH and smoke? I want to make huge clouds of smoke! If I got Les Bics what would I set the flame at? I don't want to set it too high and burn up my cig all at once. Is there a chart? Someone told me CFM x 1.08 x Delta T = BTU, but I don't know if that's for lights or full flavor.

I've had other people tell me I should buy wooden matches, since math is hard. They said wooden matches make a bigger flame than paper ones and I can just blow it out if it get too big. They said Les Bics aren't worth the extra money. What do you all think?

And before you cigar/Zippo fanbois go after me with your gang mentality, I only buy American and if I found cigars and Zippos I could afford it would be too good to be true, so they would be fake. Ergo. Own it. I don't follow the leather, I PM burgers. I never said I wouldn't, but I won't.

 

[The Ocelot]

I RAN OUT OF CIGARETTES...I looked for the samson and delilah story about them doing naughty things and they turn into ash.. i figured if i used THAT page to roll my honey mustard cigarette, it might lessen my chances of burning. But i remembered that was the old testament..
i tear out a few pages from the binding.. empty the vacuum bag on the kitchen table to combine the vacuumed up tobacco pieces with the purse pieces. I rolled it up and smoked it all in one sitting. Perhaps the best cigarette of my life.

The moral of the story is. If you don't have a book.. the ancient kind with paper and a spine.. go buy one.

I think the Old Testament would be better. There are many more naughty bits in it and with so much smiting going on a few pages won't be missed. You might even score extra points with God if you used Job.

ETA: (I've had coffee now) Samson isn't in the New Testament, he's in the Apocrypha. I didn't know you were Cryphish.

ETAA: Okay fine...I've had more coffee now and 1/2 a pack of smokes. I misread your post. I see now that you did use the Old Testament. I'm sorry, I got excited. I'm such a newbie that when I see a post I think I can answer I just jump in without reading it, even if I'm wrong.

ETAAA: Okay fine...I've now had 8 cups of coffee and 2 packs of cigarettes (all burned brilliantly - thank you CF!) I reread your post and see now that you realized Samson wasn't in the New Testament, but I can't figure out what you used for paper. If you used the New Testament I image anything with baptizing in it wouldn't burn very well, fishing and walking on water probably wouldn't either. Are lepers flammable? I'm confused. You said you tore something out of the binding, but then you mentioned pieces in your purse. Did you you use a day-runner?

 

[chellemmm]

Feminine supply papers..

Come fly with me.

 

[The Ocelot]

Well, I was finally able to find a farmer nearby who has agreed to stable the mules in his farm and is willing to bring my 20 mule mod box to my apartment every day. They even haul away any poop from in front of my apartment when they come pickup the mules at the end of the day. They do it all for free as long as they can have the poop to use as fertilizer. It's a win-win situation!

Don't stress yourself because you have to sneak in some vapes while you save for hay for your mules. Just don't do it in public.

Wow! That is so cool! I'm still working on modding the dogies, so they have to stay here for awhile, but could you PM me the farmer's name for later?

What did you end up naming them?

 

[RosaJ]

Wow! That is so cool! I'm still working on modding the dogies, so they have to stay here for awhile, but could you PM me the farmer's name for later?

What did you end up naming them?

Sure thing. He's down in Texas, I don't know where you're at but if you're in another state, it may be worthwhile for him if you get a few smokers with the 20 mule team box mod.

Haven't had to name them after all, they all answer to "HEY YOU!" and a shove, works every time.

 

[DJ RyckRak]

I think the Old Testament would be better. There are many more naughty bits in it and with so much smiting going on a few pages won't be missed. You might even score extra points with God if you used Job.

ETA: (I've had coffee now) Samson isn't in the New Testament, he's in the Apocrypha. I didn't know you were Cryphish.

ETAA: Okay fine...I've had more coffee now and 1/2 a pack of smokes. I misread your post. I see now that you did use the Old Testament. I'm sorry, I got excited. I'm such a newbie that when I see a post I think I can answer I just jump in without reading it, even if I'm wrong.

ETAAA: Okay fine...I've now had 8 cups of coffee and 2 packs of cigarettes (all burned brilliantly - thank you CF!) I reread your post and see now that you realized Samson wasn't in the New Testament, but I can't figure out what you used for paper. If you used the New Testament I image anything with baptizing in it wouldn't burn very well, fishing and walking on water probably wouldn't either. Are lepers flammable? I'm confused. You said you tore something out of the binding, but then you mentioned pieces in your purse. Did you you use a day-runner?

Me thinks 'Revelations' have the best pages for roll your own....
All that sky's falling and fire and brimstone !

Wow! That is so cool! I'm still working on modding the dogies, so they have to stay here for awhile, but could you PM me the farmer's name for later?

What did you end up naming them?

I'm still waiting on my 'Rolls Along' box mod kit...
Mine is moving north from Uruguay now via FederallyEx.
Invoice says it should be here by December 2014.
Found out 'Marlboro Country' doesn't really exist...bummer.
I really wanted to go to where the flavor is.
So I may build my 'Rolls Along' mod....
And take it to Uruguay...
Cuz that's where the real cowboys are !

 

[The Ocelot]

Me thinks 'Revelations' have the best pages for roll your own....
All that sky's falling and fire and brimstone !

That's the part with The Beatles in it, right?

I'm still waiting on my 'Rolls Along' box mod kit...
Mine is moving north from Uruguay now via FederallyEx.
Invoice says it should be here by December 2014.
Found out 'Marlboro Country' doesn't really exist...bummer.
I really wanted to go to where the flavor is.
So I may build my 'Rolls Along' mod....
And take it to Uruguay...
Cuz that's where the real cowboys are !

I couldn't go to Uruguay I'm autodidactic.

 

[Myk]

my mother is starting to grow a bit of a beard now that she's old, i'll strike a few on her chin next time i see her. speaking of which, is 73 too old to take up smoking? it breaks my heart to see her using her oxygen mask as a driptip

I'm trying to wean my mother off of oxygen and back onto smokes. That pure oxygen stuff is dangerous.

 

[djtonyb]

I'm trying to wean my mother off of oxygen and back onto smokes. That pure oxygen stuff is dangerous.

I'm going to try modding my CPAP machine to accept a box mod on the air intake, that way I can smoke while I'm sleeping. I'm sorry for my previous whining, it was probably just the lack of WTA's that got me so emotional.

 

[The Ocelot]

I'm going to try modding my CPAP machine to accept a box mod on the air intake, that way I can smoke while I'm sleeping. I'm sorry for my previous whining, it was probably just the lack of WTA's that got me so emotional.

Do you think will be hard to keep the mules from waking you up?

 

[beckyblue]

For all you cigarette-smoking mule aficionados, a great new dispenser I found at FastNic -

But I'm still waiting for the thigh-rolled stogie mod.

 

[e-pipeman]

For all you cigarette-smoking mule aficionados, a great new dispenser I found at FastNic -

But I'm still waiting for the thigh-rolled stogie mod.

That is just brilliant! Who came up with this genius idea? Wow! I particularly like the method of dispense. My life will have failed utterly if I can't source one of these beauties. Practical, stylish, tasteful - it's got it all . Thanks so much for sharing.

 

[The Ocelot]

Maria called, she wants her virginity back.

 

[The Ocelot]

That is just brilliant! Who came up with this genius idea? Wow! I particularly like the method of dispense. My life will have failed utterly if I can't source one of these beauties. Practical, stylish, tasteful - it's got it all . Thanks so much for sharing.

I think it's political and depends on who's in office.

 

[The Ocelot]

For all you cigarette-smoking mule aficionados, a great new dispenser I found at FastNic -

But I'm still waiting for the thigh-rolled stogie mod.

I could tell that was fake a mile away! I only buy American donkeys with cigarettes coming out of their behinds!

 

[fabricator4]

For all you cigarette-smoking mule aficionados, a great new dispenser I found at FastNic -

But I'm still waiting for the thigh-rolled stogie mod.

That's a very clever mule. The ciggies are loaded with the butts to the right, but they come out to the left .... first.

The whole thing is disturbing on so many levels, and then I see there is an elephantine version...

 

[beckyblue]

Speaking of elephantine, I'm feeling as pumped up and mighty as my state's noble last governor since I switched back to my cigars, thanks be to the thread's OP.

 

[Shadav]

good morning....