Cigarette Newbie

[fabricator4]

You silly person! You obviously have never owned equines! Alfalfa is a legume, not forage. Even processed it would be like smoking mushy peas.

And tea beans go through the digestive tracts of pangolins (not ocelots as some rude member suggested), which should not be confused with mandolins, since that is another type of thing altogether.

So, sir, put that in your garden fish tank and smoke it.

Silly puss, you have to dry the processed alfalfa first. I find if I smear it on the windscreen of the rolls along it dries very quickly as you roll along. That's the reason the rolls along has a small trowel and a spatula in the deluxe tool kit. What have you been using them for?

If the mules have to go I never miss the opportunity to get the trowel out and start smearing.

 

[e-pipeman]

You silly person! You obviously have never owned equines! Alfalfa is a legume, not forage. Even processed it would be like smoking mushy peas.

And tea beans go through the digestive tracts of pangolins (not ocelots as some rude member suggested), which should not be confused with mandolins, since that is another type of thing altogether.

So, sir, put that in your garden fish tank and smoke it.

Why would a scaly anteater eat tea beans? They eat ants. The clue is in the name.

It's definitely ocelots that process tea beans. This is why they are no-longer killed en masse for their pelts. They have re-skilled.

 

[The Ocelot]

Silly puss, you have to dry the processed alfalfa first. I find if I smear it on the windscreen of the rolls along it dries very quickly as you roll along. That's the reason the rolls along has a small trowel and a spatula in the deluxe tool kit. What have you been using them for?

If the mules have to go I never miss the opportunity to get the trowel out and start smearing.

Well, it's obvious. My horse and goats lied.

 

[The Ocelot]

Why would a scaly anteater eat tea beans? They eat ants. The clue is in the name.

It's definitely ocelots that process tea beans. This is why they are no-longer killed en masse for their pelts. They have re-skilled.

You haven't been keeping up with economic development have you? Ocelots have been re-skilled, but some important study insinuated that they are much more effective at shoving tea beans down the throats of pangolins than swallowing beans themselves. And there is no scratching, biting and running away at speed issues with pangolins. Furthermore, pangolins don't have teeth, so there is no damage to the beans unless the ants get to them first.

Neener²

 

[e-pipeman]

You haven't been keeping up with economic development have you? Ocelots have been re-skilled, but some important study insinuated that they are much more effective at shoving tea beans down the throats of pangolins than swallowing beans themselves. And there is no scratching, biting and running away at speed issues with pangolins. Furthermore, pangolins don't have teeth, so there is no damage to the beans unless the ants to get to them first.

Neener²

My understanding re: ocelots is that they are trussed and bound to prevent "scratching, biting and running away at speed issues". They are then blindfolded and dropped into force-feeding pits, where re-skilled pangolins thrust tea-beans through the ocelots' wired jaws and stroke their throats to induce a swallowing reflex. I could be wrong of course - perhaps I am thinking of pandas? I often do.

 

[The Ocelot]

My understanding re: ocelots is that they are trussed and bound to prevent "scratching, biting and running away at speed issues". They are then blindfolded and dropped into force-feeding pits, where re-skilled pangolins thrust tea-beans through the ocelots' wired jaws and stroke their throats to induce a swallowing reflex. I could be wrong of course - perhaps I am thinking of pandas? I often do.

Of course you are wrong! A pangolin has massive front claws instead of feet so it wouldn't be able to induce a swallowing reflex without ripping out the ocelot's throat. And don't say they use their tongues, that would just be argumentative.

Apparently, pangolins are a delicacy in China, so while you are smoking your cigar and enjoying a steaming cup of pangolian-processed oolong you can have a light snack:

The Guardian recently published a story on the rise of pangolin cuisine: "A Guangdong chef interviewed last year in the Beijing Science and Technology Daily described how to prepare a pangolin: 'We keep them alive in cages until the customer makes an order. Then we hammer them unconscious, cut their throats and drain the blood. It is a slow death. We then boil them to remove the scales. We cut the meat into small pieces and use it to make a number of dishes, including braised meat and soup. Usually the customers take the blood home with them afterwards.'"

Ta Wikipedia

 

[Ref Minor]

I had an uncle who used to play the pangolin in a folk band

 

[The Ocelot]

I had an uncle who used to play the pangolin in a folk band

Was he in Pentangle? I really liked them a lot!

 

[e-pipeman]

Of course you are wrong! A pangolin has massive front claws instead of feet so it wouldn't be able to induce a swallowing reflex without ripping out the ocelot's throat. And don't say they use their tongues, that would just be argumentative.

Ah, the Panda thing is becoming ever more likely. I appreciate that they are endangered but they are also lazy and stupid. It would probably be easy to force-feed a panda tea beans. It should probably be compulsory.

 

[e-pipeman]

I had an uncle who used to play the pangolin in a folk band

Do you mean that he wore a special costume on stage?

 

[fabricator4]

The Guardian recently published a story on the rise of pangolin cuisine: "A Guangdong chef interviewed last year in the Beijing Science and Technology Daily described how to prepare a pangolin: 'We keep them alive in cages until the customer makes an order. Then we hammer them unconscious, cut their throats and drain the blood. It is a slow death. We then boil them to remove the scales. We cut the meat into small pieces and use it to make a number of dishes, including braised meat and soup. Usually the customers take the blood home with them afterwards.'"

Ta Wikipedia

OMFG I thought you were joking. Pangolin - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

 

[The Ocelot]

OMFG I thought you were joking. Pangolin - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

Isn't it amazing the things we accidentally learn online!

 

[e-pipeman]

Isn't it amazing the things we accidentally learn online!

Yes.

(10 chars)

 

[jtpjc]

Look what those electronic weasels have come up with now:

 

[Ref Minor]

Look what those electronic weasels have come up with now:

See how Big eCig is trying to hang on the coat tails of the health giving cigarette industry. They know the cool hip kids are smoking and are trying to make vaping appear cool.

 

[e-pipeman]

"Roken is dodelijk"? VAPEN is dodelijk , more like! I am constantly astounded by the sheer audacity of the vaping community - shame on them!

 

[DJ RyckRak]

Of course you are wrong! A pangolin has massive front claws instead of feet so it wouldn't be able to induce a swallowing reflex without ripping out the ocelot's throat. And don't say they use their tongues, that would just be argumentative.

Apparently, pangolins are a delicacy in China, so while you are smoking your cigar and enjoying a steaming cup of pangolian-processed oolong you can have a light snack:

The Guardian recently published a story on the rise of pangolin cuisine: "A Guangdong chef interviewed last year in the Beijing Science and Technology Daily described how to prepare a pangolin: 'We keep them alive in cages until the customer makes an order. Then we hammer them unconscious, cut their throats and drain the blood. It is a slow death. We then boil them to remove the scales. We cut the meat into small pieces and use it to make a number of dishes, including braised meat and soup. Usually the customers take the blood home with them afterwards.'"

Ta Wikipedia

Well wiki does say they look like an artichoke....
Which means they should be par blanched, and never braised !
Foolish Chinese Chefs !

While I wait by my mailbox each day for MY 'Rolls Along' kit to arrive ...
I am using up some of my old 'Vaping Stash', and have a small 'boot sale' going.
Trying to sell -
'Used Vaping Supplies- eGo's, Valmos, Reo's, Carivellas Cheap !'
...................... Free ejuice with every purchase !...................

But, not having much luck !
Seems the Smoking thing is really taking off, out here in the country.
People have told me....
'You ain't going to do much bizness out thishear dirt road'
'We smoke the real ones'
'Gots me some bacco now'
'My women don't like them things'

But, as a bonus, everyone that passes me either throws a good pre lighted shorty butts or even full packs at me...right out the window !
And many throw partial beer and other beverages containers for me .
Guess they feel sorry for me...
Which is funny because I never want for tobacco !
And I go to my ranch and 300 acres each evening richer !

 

[e-pipeman]

Well wiki does say they look like an artichoke....
Which means they should be par blanched, and never braised !
Foolish Chinese Chefs !

While I wait by my mailbox each day for MY 'Rolls Along' kit to arrive ...
I am using up some of my old 'Vaping Stash', and have a small 'boot sale' going.
Trying to sell -
'Used Vaping Supplies- eGo's, Valmos, Reo's, Carivellas Cheap !'
...................... Free ejuice with every purchase !...................

But, not having much luck !
Seems the Smoking thing is really taking off, out here in the country.
People have told me....
'You ain't going to do much bizness out thishear dirt road'
'We smoke the real ones'
'Gots me some bacco now'
'My women don't like them things'

But, as a bonus, everyone that passes me either throws a good pre lighted shorty butts or even full packs at me...right out the window !
And many throw partial beer and other beverages containers for me .
Guess they feel sorry for me...
Which is funny because I never want for tobacco !
And I go to my ranch and 300 acres each evening richer !

Never turn down free tobacco! You never know when Big Government will come along and steal your land, just as they did with its original owners.

 

[XeniaMike]

All this talk of Tea. Tea is nice and I do enjoy the American 'iced' version daily, but on this side of the pond, it's all about the coffee. I find nothing goes quite so well with my Pall Mall's than a nice fresh cup o joe. Besides, drinking Tea really affects Juan Valdez negatively, and donkey's don't just feed themselves. It's a long walk from South America with a donkey, and we should be more sensitive to his plight.

Also, I was warned not to drink coffee with my cigarette around my cat. Apparently they're sensitive to one or more of the ingredients.

Another thing we don't touch on nearly enough is the positive impact of smoking on state economies. As people switch to vaping, the poor government loses tax revenue. I mean, posh dinner parties and lavish vacations just don't appear out of thin air. And think of those poor officials having to wipe their own bottoms. Vapers can be so insensitive. So smoke strong and support your local government!

 

[e-pipeman]

Also, I was warned not to drink coffee with my cigarette around my cat. Apparently they're sensitive to one or more of the ingredients

A man once force-fed his cat coffee whilst he blew smoke into its lungs through a Hoover hose. That cat is now dead. You can't be too careful.