buy her some Victoria secrets or bon bons, women love den secrets and bon bons!
Does anyone else have a SO that is not supportive of their vaping?
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One thing I've learned over the years, is that there is only one relationship where one gets to tell the other what to do and that's the relationship between MoM and DaD and me..... They were and are the only 2 people who ever had a right to tell me what to do, and it was usually in my best interest to learn. Wife's kids bros sis's etc are NOT included. Once my parents passed and I still miss them after 25 years now, no one else has that right, my Wife now EX of 10 years tried to control our relationship and to be my mother, sheesh.....
Not saying you should leave your SO, OP not in any way but she and possibly u need to learn you don't own each other but have made an adult choice to live together within the bonds of holy macrimony. That is a hard lesson to learn and I've no idea of how to teach it, but the word RESPECT comes into mind.
I wish u the best OP, GL. Life is a 2 way street. Use it.
Not saying you should leave your SO, OP not in any way but she and possibly u need to learn you don't own each other but have made an adult choice to live together within the bonds of holy macrimony. That is a hard lesson to learn and I've no idea of how to teach it, but the word RESPECT comes into mind.
I wish u the best OP, GL. Life is a 2 way street. Use it.
True Talyon, I hate being told what to do. Holy matrimony I think you meant to say, or holy mattress money.
Leave it to Eric!!!!!
Seriously though. The Love of my life gets peed off at the amount of time I spend on this subject. The CASAA webinars. (sorry for spelling). CASAA is a great group that you can also find support in.
All I have to do is remind her of the day that the Ambulance came and had to pick me up off my Kitchen floor cause I couldn't breath. I suffer sever COPD and all the time in the ER has been a reminder to her of what I'm after. I'm after my LIFE so that I can share it with her.
I pray things turn around for you. Just remember, that when you need that support, ECF and the family are always here!!!!!!
Admittedly, I only read the first two pages of this thread, but I will say this:
Is someone TRULY cares about you and your HEALTH, they would not berate you for vaping instead of smoking. Too many people get caught up in $$$ only and obsess over it. My SO is a part-time vaper and smoker who thought this whole vaping thing was foolish at first, but now has seen the steady improvement in my attitude and health and that completely turned her around. She enjoys it now too and will occasionally joke around about my mod fascination with me, but she gets it.
I don't begrudge her cooking obsession - it's healthy to have hobbies that interest you AND improve your health.
Is someone TRULY cares about you and your HEALTH, they would not berate you for vaping instead of smoking. Too many people get caught up in $$$ only and obsess over it. My SO is a part-time vaper and smoker who thought this whole vaping thing was foolish at first, but now has seen the steady improvement in my attitude and health and that completely turned her around. She enjoys it now too and will occasionally joke around about my mod fascination with me, but she gets it.
I don't begrudge her cooking obsession - it's healthy to have hobbies that interest you AND improve your health.
ac·ri·mo·ny..
/ˈakrəˌmōnē/
Noun
Bitterness or ill feeling
I learned a new word today, sweet..
/ˈakrəˌmōnē/
Noun
Bitterness or ill feeling
I learned a new word today, sweet..
I really enjoy my vaping snd the hobby ive made out of it keeps me away from smoking. Better for me, my wofe and our 2 kids. She never pajd much mind to my smoking. Always outside and subtle cause she has asthma etc. But she dkesnt pay much mind to me quittjng either. I have ask many times for some support to help. But none. No big deal though. I feel better physically and mentally.
I'm fortunate that my husband is supportive of my "hobby" and doesn't care what I spend as long as the bills get paid (I take care of the financial matters) I, in turn am supportive of his hunting "hobby".
Please don't take this the wrong way.. but maybe you just need to stand up for yourself.
Please don't take this the wrong way.. but maybe you just need to stand up for yourself.
My wife sounds like the original posters wife except I save like 120 dollars a month and she still has something to say
Man this thread is a reminder of just how cool a wife I have.
I work, and work hard. She wouldn't dream of hassling me about anything I buy. Conversely, I don't buy anything that we can't afford, and neither does she. I pay the bills, and she takes care of business at home. Old school, but has worked for us for thirty years.
I work, and work hard. She wouldn't dream of hassling me about anything I buy. Conversely, I don't buy anything that we can't afford, and neither does she. I pay the bills, and she takes care of business at home. Old school, but has worked for us for thirty years.
After reading through this thread, I can second this for sure.
My wife is a solid woman and has always had trust that I will take care of business before spending a dime on myself. I work my ... off every day so that I can provide for our family. Both vehicles in the garage belong to us. Our bills are paid. Our children are fed, clothed and entertained with a LOT cooler stuff than I ever had as a child. We never have to check each other in regards to spending, because we both know what can be spent and we use this crazy thing to figure it all out....... Communication.
She may have her eye on something that just went on sale similar to the email I just got about that new shiny mod going back into stock. Can I pull the trigger? Without a doubt. Will it keep her / short-change her from buying the item that she has been wanting? I don't know, so we talk about it, And vice-versa. Neither of us is asking permission, only showing regard for the other person and their interests also.
I actually think it would be a riot to see some significant others reply to this thread, because if there is anything life has taught me, it is that there are ALWAYS two sides to the story. It would be pure chaos in here LOL.
Sit down and talk about it with your SO. Don't assume anything in life, and never in a marriage. If all else fails, a storm trooper on a hover cat should create a perfect diversion.
My wife was showing the first signs similar to the OP's (though not about money) and getting worse. At a time that was relaxing for both of us I pointed out her behavior and bluntly asked if my changing to a less harmful habit was not appreciated by her. I went over all the positives of vaping, both for her (my not stinking, etc.) and for me. I let her know that I was not at all happy that it appeared to me that she was beating me down for improving my life and bluntly asked if she would rather I just smoke and die! Surprisingly we had a reasonable discussion about it and the root of her anger had nothing to do with vaping! I have addressed the root issue which I was unaware was bothering her so much and life is so much better.
Moral of the story: Men are from Mars and women are from Venus!
Good luck finding the root cause, normally doesn't happen that easy.
Moral of the story: Men are from Mars and women are from Venus!
Good luck finding the root cause, normally doesn't happen that easy.
my boyfriend of 7 years is super duper excited that I finally quit smoking. he was with me when I got my first kit, and encouraged me to vape instead of having a cigarette during the time it took to actually quit (I admit I could have tried way harder), and tells me how proud he is. I am sorry for anyone who doesn't have something similar.
I'm a geek- I love electronics, computers, little toys, I love to fiddle, our household is used to my small packages arriving in the mail, no matter the contents.
my oldest daughter is an artist- drawing tablets, canvas, paper, many many mediums.
my youngest daughter is a busy body- tons of stuff to keep her occupied.
my boyfriend- a musician. guitars, cabs, speakers, cords, I don't even know what.
every single one of us has our interests, and they all cost money and time. we all get excited about stuff someone else might not give two s**ts about. the key is being supportive no matter your level of caring, and also making sure there are solid shared interests and time spent together.
I agree with another poster- construct a time for just the two of you, relaxed and comfortable with each other, and have a conversation. it may be something else bothering her, and this is obviously bothering you..
I'm a geek- I love electronics, computers, little toys, I love to fiddle, our household is used to my small packages arriving in the mail, no matter the contents.
my oldest daughter is an artist- drawing tablets, canvas, paper, many many mediums.
my youngest daughter is a busy body- tons of stuff to keep her occupied.
my boyfriend- a musician. guitars, cabs, speakers, cords, I don't even know what.
every single one of us has our interests, and they all cost money and time. we all get excited about stuff someone else might not give two s**ts about. the key is being supportive no matter your level of caring, and also making sure there are solid shared interests and time spent together.
I agree with another poster- construct a time for just the two of you, relaxed and comfortable with each other, and have a conversation. it may be something else bothering her, and this is obviously bothering you..
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Well, that kind of blows, OP (and not thick sweet vape clouds).
I like the money jar idea for sure. I dunno though, I think it's time for a heart to heart conversation and you need to make sure she knows that you really do need her support. Quitting analogs is HARD and she needs to have your back.
It also reminds me of how awesome my hubby is. He's been vaping for years - I'm newish, but I'm obsessed with tinkering and trying new gadgets and whatnot. I dunno, I can honestly say that we have never, in our 20 years of being married, fought about money. We've had some really tough times and some really good times, financially, but we also got married super young (I was 18 + 1 day when we got hitched, no joke!). In some ways, I think that was beneficial because we didn't have a pot to pee in so we had to pool our money and if we had it, we spent it. I've not worked at times, he's not worked at times, but it's always been "our money" no matter what.
Having said that, I'm willing to bet this is not about money. Talk to her. Find out what's going on. Pick a time when things are calm. Ask for her help and support. You catch more bees with honey, etc.
I like the money jar idea for sure. I dunno though, I think it's time for a heart to heart conversation and you need to make sure she knows that you really do need her support. Quitting analogs is HARD and she needs to have your back.
It also reminds me of how awesome my hubby is. He's been vaping for years - I'm newish, but I'm obsessed with tinkering and trying new gadgets and whatnot. I dunno, I can honestly say that we have never, in our 20 years of being married, fought about money. We've had some really tough times and some really good times, financially, but we also got married super young (I was 18 + 1 day when we got hitched, no joke!). In some ways, I think that was beneficial because we didn't have a pot to pee in so we had to pool our money and if we had it, we spent it. I've not worked at times, he's not worked at times, but it's always been "our money" no matter what.
Having said that, I'm willing to bet this is not about money. Talk to her. Find out what's going on. Pick a time when things are calm. Ask for her help and support. You catch more bees with honey, etc.
She was supportive, now she wants me to stop altogether, its just the habbit/flavors/Mods that keep me addicted.
I have a suggestion. Maybe it has nothing to do with the money. Maybe she is scared about how much you like vaping. Most people accept that smokers don't like smoking and want to quit. They are just waiting for that day. Seeing you enjoy vaping might scare her.
Vaping looks so much like smoking she might be worried that you are going to get really stuck on another habit that might be harmful to you. Even though the science suggest differently about the harm levels we are hard wired to see smoking as bad. It's not easy to break the connection when people see vaping.
I am not expert and I don't know you or your wife in any way. I might be way off. But perhaps if you sit her down and really ask her what's really bothering her. The money is less, the time might be a legitimate concern, but there has to be something else.
Just my thoughts. I might just be off the mark here by a mile.
Vaping looks so much like smoking she might be worried that you are going to get really stuck on another habit that might be harmful to you. Even though the science suggest differently about the harm levels we are hard wired to see smoking as bad. It's not easy to break the connection when people see vaping.
I am not expert and I don't know you or your wife in any way. I might be way off. But perhaps if you sit her down and really ask her what's really bothering her. The money is less, the time might be a legitimate concern, but there has to be something else.
Just my thoughts. I might just be off the mark here by a mile.
My wife doesn't seem to be to fond of my vaping, and I was wondering how many others have to deal with this, and how you all deal with an unsupportive SO? I have been completely off the analogs for about 2 months and she complains about the money I am spending, and the amount of time I look at vaping stuff. I can understand the time aspect because I do kind of get lost looking at ECF and other vaping material, but in the money department I am spending a lot less than I did smoking analogs. I only smoked a half a pack of day of analogs for the past 3 years, but before that I was averaging about a pack a day for 15 years, and she rarely complained about my smoking. Every once in a while she would tell me that I need to slow down on the cigs because I was spending to much money, but other than that she didn't nag me about trying to quit, which every previous girlfriend had.
I think some of that may have to do with her dad who has smoked for 40 years until he quit last year, not by his choice, but he has developed COPD and a number of other respiratory problems (although I don't think they are all directly related to smoking). Her dad is on oxygen, BIPAP, and pretty much can't do anything except lay around the house.
According to my calculations I have spent $140 so far on vaping and saved $175 from not smoking analogs, and this is at the half a pack a day rate. And $65 of that was no my starter kit. So overall I am spending much less other than the starter kit, but I think she might be having a hard time because I am spending $20-$30 at a time to save on shipping and whatnot, instead of $5 every two days. I think to her it just seemed like less because it was only $5 at a time.
In public, around family and the like she acts like she is proud of me for quitting the analogs, but behind closed doors she yells at me about the money I am spending and just overall gives me a hard time for vaping. I guess I just expected for her to be supportive of me and not worry about the money, even though I have saved money so far, and will continue to save even more money! Every time we argue about this I let her know that I didn't quit to save money, and that it was all about my health and being around our daughters for the long run.
She argues with me about trying different juices and why I have to have more than one flavor. She says, "You smoked all those years and it was only one flavor, why do you need more!!!" I try to explain to her about finding a few favors that I really love then just using those juices, but I have to try a bunch to get a select few. It just seems there is no reasoning with her.
I'm pretty much at the point now that I just want to finish off the juices that I have and just go back to analogs so that I won't have to hear her ***** anymore! Sorry for the rant, I just wanted to get it off my chest because overall I feel so much better and love vaping compared to smoking, but she has been such a downer for me. Other family members are extremely supportive and proud of me, but she just tries to endlessly tear me down! I guess if it weren't about vaping it'd be about something else.
Thanks for listening...
Please don't take this the wrong way, but... ( notice how something bad that you will probably take offense too is always put out there with that precursor...?) ANYWAY..
Sweetie, you must be a SAINT right here on Earth. If my wife talked to me like that, there would be HELL to pay. You need to tell her, that it's your body, and on this ONE THING, she doesn't get a say. PERIOD. Sometimes, SOs need to step off, and see what happens. You're ultimately doing the right thing. If she can't understand something, she needs to come to terms with not understanding. There are plenty of things my wife does that I just don't understand, but I let her too them, because it's her thing.
But, in an effort to show her what it is that she is .....ing about, if she has a favorite drink that she drinks every day, the next time she reaches for something different, ask her why it is that she wants something else to drink. She has water and (X), shouldn't she be fine with that? Isn't two enough? If two juices are good enough for you, then water and (X) should be good enough for her.
/grumbles
I'm very, VERY lucky I make the money in my household, because I certainly wouldn't put up with someone griping at me for stuff like that. Someone would be out on her bottom.
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