Does anyone else have a SO that is not supportive of their vaping?

[Via!]

Uncle, my SO thought I should just be able to "stop" my other old habit...I had smoked since 1967...and it just wasn't possible for me to do so...only by vaping for the last 18 months have I been able to NOT go back to that STINKY habit...my DH doesn't like me vaping, either...but, after I made my initial "investment" on equipment...I'm just buying "maintenance" now...replacement oils, 4 bottles of juice a month and replacing anything broken...but it took me about a year to find "just 3-4 juices"..I did a LOT of testing...

DH realizes NOW that if I can't just STOP, at least I'm doing something that "isn't as bad"...he doesn't hear me wheeze anymore, I don't look or act as sick as I once did, and we do more things together. I know he doesn't really LIKE me vaping...so,I don't throw it in his face...I go or a vape-walk...(and take the dog)...or, I go to the computer room "to answer e-mail" and vape...I find ways and places to enjoy my habit/hobby that isn't "in his face....

We each have our own "discretionary funds", so my "hobby money" isn't an issue...but, I can almost guarantee that if he were given the choice between me smoking or vaping, he would feel better about my vaping...we are all proud of your accomplishment! I would bet if you asked if she would rather kiss the old cigarette breath or new vape breath, she will vote for vape!

IThink the others are right about explaining the time it takes to find your "perfect vape"...and flowers NEVER got a fellow into trouble! She just needs some TLC!!!

 

[DC2]

If this really IS about money, then maybe you might consider DIY to make your own juice.
Maybe she would even be interested in helping you.

I also liked the earlier suggestion about a vaping money jar.
And the suggestion about her spending some of that savings on something that interests her.

But I'm not saying this really is about money, because maybe it isn't.
It could also be about the time too, and maybe you not spending enough of it with her.

It would nice if that were the reason.

 

[Red_Bird]

My wife thinks vaping is silly, she quit cigs cold turkey. Her habit wasn't a large one though.

She doesn't care how much I spend on it, but shes starting to care how much room my supplies take up. I have one bedroom thats just FULL of vaping gear.....DIY materials, mods, batts, flavors, pg, vg, liters of nic, mesh, wick, hemp, ekowool silica, xc 116 ceramic wick, clearos, tanks, atties

 

[ScarletAbby]

That is a rough situation for Uncle. As a woman and a wife, I can tell you is sometimes disconcerting how much money my DH spends on stuff I don't care about (key word right here), but I usually try to bite my tongue because I know I do the same thing though( yarn/video games/e liquid is expensive man!). We are both smokers (were) and we both started with ecigs about the same time so it's really much easier for us because whatever we spend on eliquids or hardware comes from our family budget. Definitely try to use visual aids, maybe she likes shoes or clothes, find out how much she spends on that every month and come up with a budget that's fair to the both of you.

 

[Wallelf]

If my family knew what I'd spent so far, their heads would explode. It's taken me 3 months to find the equipment and juices that make staying analog-free possible for me. However, when the subject did come up, I was able to say that even with what I've bought, I'm still over $400 ahead of what I would have spent had I still been smoking.

~Buff~

 

[EddardinWinter]

So here you are, Mr OP, getting healthier and saving money doing something that is fun for you. What is it precisely that the wife has an issue with? You said you have spent less than you would have smoking, so it is not about money. You really need to set some boundaries here.

Is the answer to any of the following questions "yes"

Are you creating some financial hardship for your family?
Are you jeopardizing your or your families health?
Are you harming your family reputation?
Are you doing anything illegal?

Now I think I am certain of the answers to these questions, I believe we have four "no" answers.

If the answer to all of the above is no, then the next step is clear in my mind. Tell her in no uncertain terms that you need to spend five dollars a day (or whatever your daily smoking cost was) for the rest of the year on vaping. Tell her there is no room for negotiation on this issue. Make sure you look her straight in the eye and don't blink. The key to this conversation is tone, body language, and projecting strength of conviction. If she starts nagging, shrieking, badgering, or generally acting in an irrational manner, then ask her directly, "why are you disrespecting me and my personal boundaries on this issue?"

If this is being turned into a problem because you are having fun with your new hobby, isn't it all the more reason to make sure that she respects your boundaries on this issue?

Now before you listen to a lion for relationship advice, understand that my marriage lasted less than five years. This is simply the way I see it. I am mystified by the reaction your spouse has given you, and this is how I would approach it. There is no guarantee it will work for you at all, but maybe pieces of it will at least be helpful. Good luck.

 

[shatner]

Sorry to say, but if she doesn't support you moving from a known deadly addiction to a harm reduction technique the marriage is likely doomed. Support is part of the foundation of any relationship.

 

[Mowgli]

The wife vapes on the Green Smoke kit that I gave her.
She's been good with reusing the carts refilled with24mg juice.
No cheats.

The freeloader, um, I mean the stepson not so much.
He still uses his GS kit but started smoking on a pack his boss gave him.
Now he smokes almost exclusively but wants to get an eGo setup asap.
He left a pack of 'boros on the kitchen table last night.
I woke up, saw the cancersticks and whipped them upstairs.
He got a talking to when he dragged his sorry ... downstairs.

Good note:

The monkey on my back wanted to smoke one of the 'boros
I brass knuckled said monkey in the teeth and vaped some butterscotch instead

 

[JimzDogz]

Some people just can't feel good about themselves unless they have someone around that they can feel better than. Your changing your bad habit is depriving her of that. The result is her feeling that she is losing her status of being superior in your relationship. Give her some time to adjust. When she sees that your not going to buy a red sports car next and start chasing younger women things should settle down. Good luck PS: I don't agree with buying her off with gifts or money. I don't think it will work anyway and rewarding bad behavior is never a good idea.

 

[UncleChimney]

Sorry to say, but if she doesn't support you moving from a known deadly addiction to a harm reduction technique the marriage is likely doomed. Support is part of the foundation of any relationship.

I totally agree with this, and I realize this is how my wife is over all just as a person in general. She can be an absolutely beautiful and charming woman, but at times she is such a selfish pessimist. It seems that overall she has a very hard time being genuinely happy for other people, not just me. Kind of how she'll nag on my vaping endlessly, but every once in a while she'll offer to let me get something nice because I never spend money on myself, in her words. It can be a tough situation, but hopefully she'll come around to the fact that I am spending loads less in the long run and I'll be around much longer! If that's what she really wants?!? j/k

 

[Butters78]

For your sake, I hope she never reads this forum lol.

 

[Wallelf]

For your sake, I hope she never reads this forum lol.

I have left instructions with a very good friend that my laptop is to be destroyed immediately should anything happen to me.

~Buff~

 

[TrickyRicky71]

I went through similar stuff myself with the wife. When I started vaping I spent all kinds of money on this and that and finding out what I liked and what worked for me. Had packages arriving all the time! this eventually died down and now I'm down to 20 bucks every 2 weeks for juice and few bucks here and there for replacement wicks. she'll get over it!

 

[EddardinWinter]

For your sake, I hope she never reads this forum lol.

Don't you go starting trouble again...

 

[Orobas]

I'm fortunate that the hubby is supportive of it. In fact he urged me to try again after being unimpressed with a cigalike kit a few years ago. He's pleased as punch and keeps up with the technology in a casual way, and completely understood my need to stockpile with the potential FDApocalypse lingering over our head.

In exchange, i'm tolerant of his massive transformers collection.

In any case, all you can really do is show her the math. It's hard for her hysteria to keep up steam in the face of facts. As long as the bills are paid and everybody's belly is full you really shouldn't have to justify yourself, especially if you're earning your money.

You could make an analogy of it. The cost of an initial kit is like a bic, cigarette case, and ash tray. subsequent juice purchases thereafter are simply packs of smokes that last longer.

But most importantly i think you should stop rising to the bait. Something else is probably bothering her and ignoring her tantrums might find you the truth eventually.

 

[Johnnie Price]

Don't you go starting trouble again...

That's Butters' job.

I don't really have anything to add to the OP. You have my condolences.

My wife wasn't horribly supportive of my vaping at first. Then she started noticing I didn't stink anymore. She had fewer asthma attacks. Our 4 year old daughter didn't have horrible bronchitis or a major ear infection this winter, which is a first in her short life. Keep in mind I never smoked in the house. Only outside or at work. But the smell and the residue sticking to my clothes and skin was enough to complicate my wife's and daughter's health.

Best of luck to you and your family.

 

[TrickyRicky71]

btw......does your SO buy makeup? funny how that's excluded from all budget concerns! it is in my household anyway,that(makeup) nails and hair.

 

[Butters78]

Don't you go starting trouble again...

Lmao, that was fun wasn't it?

 

[Caridwen]

Whenever my wife is upset at me I que up 99 luft balloons and dance around in my boxers. Everything is right as rain after that.

Pictures please.

 

[Johnnie Price]

Forgot to mention in my last post that now, 7 months into vaping, my wife no longer has anything negative to say. Occasionally she gets on me for the time I spend on ECf, but then I ask her when she's going to stay off Facebook for a couple of days. That usually shuts her up for about a week.