Does anyone else have a SO that is not supportive of their vaping?

[Robino1]

My current husband said something very wise about my ex-husband.

My ex was a control freak over me. We were young 18 & 19 when we got married. I thought he would grow out of the jealousy and controlling ways. Hey....at 18 you don't know better unless someone tells you and you're willing to listen. I finally grew up

My very wise, very supportive love of my life said of my ex "He is insecure". While with my ex, I would never have thought that of him. But distance and looking back....yeah, I can totally see that.

We are not trained in relationship issues but you do see a therapist. What does your therapist say about her demands?

 

[JohnnyBGoode]

Just my 10 cents...

While being a regular smoker, you spent the money, you hate it and she does but all agree, you addicted so there is a bit of a status quo that you can't really help it.
Nobody shows of their regulars, it's not something to be proud of or to spend too much time on.

You have now replaced it with something you like, you spend (although less) money on and are proud to show (or at least most of us) and talk to about to others. Next to that, regulars disappear, this collection just builds up and gets more and more visible.

Maybe it helps if you be spending money on your SO at an equal rate? Let's say you buy a new PV and before it arrives, you talk her into town and go buy a pair of nice shoes, new bag, whatever she likes? Something which makes her smile and can show off to friends/family?

 

[DuaneNeveu]

get a jar. every other day, put in the $5 you would have spent on cigs. when you make a vaping purchase, take that amount out of the jar to cover the purchase.

give her a solid visual.

or, her being upset may have absolutely nothing to do with vaping or flavors or money. us women are strange creatures...

This may be one of the two best suggestions I've read in this thread...a perfect first step! This will help ascertain if this is really a money issue, although like some others, I don't suspect that it is.

My wife was showing the first signs similar to the OP's (though not about money) and getting worse. At a time that was relaxing for both of us I pointed out her behavior and bluntly asked if my changing to a less harmful habit was not appreciated by her. I went over all the positives of vaping, both for her (my not stinking, etc.) and for me. I let her know that I was not at all happy that it appeared to me that she was beating me down for improving my life and bluntly asked if she would rather I just smoke and die! Surprisingly we had a reasonable discussion about it and the root of her anger had nothing to do with vaping! I have addressed the root issue which I was unaware was bothering her so much and life is so much better.

Moral of the story: Men are from Mars and women are from Venus!

Good luck finding the root cause, normally doesn't happen that easy.

Once you determine (which I believe you ultimately will) that money isn't the real root of her issue(s), there's a ton of merit in Alexander Mundy's approach.

This is one of those situations where you deserve to be a bit selfish, because you're doing it for all the right reasons. She needs to get on board and enjoy the ride, or be forcibly relegated to the oars below deck.

 

[chrisrook]

My fiance isn't exactly supportive either. We quit around the same time, and when her anxiety started to get bad, we took up hookah, which we both loved. After a while, we stopped taking out the hookah and had no problem. Lately, I have been getting frustrated from work and life, and noticed my blood pressure rising. So, I took up vaping. I bought her a 510 cig-a-like kit so that we could vape together, but she used it for all of maybe 3 days, then never touched it again. I fell in love with vaping, the flavors, the feel, the mechanical aspect of it, all while getting my nic to keep me sane. She told me that I need to quit and give my stuff away (I even made a thread like you did). Eventually, it came down to us both needing to realize we are adults and need to make our own decisions. She told me that if I didn't quit vaping, she would start smoking again. I told her that if that is what she wants, she can smoke again even though I don't agree with it like she doesn't agree with my vaping. She has not picked back up smoking, but has stopped buggin me about vaping. I have cut back since then, but still vape heavily, mostly when she's not around. Sometimes, we just need to come to a compromise and make our decisions together. I will continue to vape, whether she fully agrees or not. Also, out of respect for her, I have cut back on what I buy and only have one mod at a time. I also vape mostly in my car, so my juices are kept in there as well, so as not to crowd up the apartment. Compromises are a part of a relationship, but so is understanding.

 

[hadouken]

My significant other, Rosy, doesn't mind. She holds it for me.

 

[NGAHaze]

True Talyon, I hate being told what to do. Holy matrimony I think you meant to say, or holy mattress money.

Freudian slip if I've ever seen one ...

While I can't offer any sage advice that hasn't already been mentioned in this thread, I have to agree with some of the comments that suggest there are deeper issues in your relationship. IMHO, this lack of empathy and support is merely the outward manifestation of said issues. I cannot fathom someone who truly loves you not being excited at the prospect of you regaining your health because let's face it, every cigarette smoked is one step closer to the grave.

I couldn't tell if you had actually had a serious discussion with her regarding this matter but if you haven't, you need to and if you have and you still have this problem, you may want to consider seeking counseling. Since you are asking for advice on this forum, I have to assume you believe the relationship is worth salvaging. Put your cards on the table and get to the marrow because this situation is unlikely to improve without intervention.

I do hope this works out for you!

 

[Awkwardly Awesome]

My wife is happier that I am using an e-cig now but she says that I am still smoking. In her mind, me having a chemical addiction to anything is bad. But she had become much more OK with it since I started working part time at an e-cig shop. Mostly because now I am not spending as much on juice since I get a nice discount on juice. Also she hated the smells of the tobacco flavors I started with. Now that I have switched to using more fruit flavors she seems to be warming up to it.

Ultimately, I think any spouse that isn't a smoker or someone who has never experienced a chemical addiction, will never understand. Addiction is a hard thing for some people to understand. Because if you look at the flip side of my situation, most of my extended family and the president of my company I work for, are all current or ex smokers and they always ask me how long I have been off of analogs and they tell me how proud they are of me.

 

[martinc]

I wonder why those stories always end up with :"go back to analogs"....???

If vaping is such a problem,why not trying to quit completely while at it?

And stick to it!!??

As long as you will think of the analog as an alternative,success wont come easy....analogs are NOT an alternative,they are your PAST.