Holy crap Barry!!

Let's hope yours and mine never meet up somewhere. The whole neighbourhood will be praying that there's no children. God knows where we would send them to school.
I am frightened to be seen on the street with mine, sooner or later some's gonna call out the anti terrorist squad..........................
Can you imagine the conversation.....
"Hello, this is the Anti-Terrorist hotline, all our agents are busy at the moment but your call is very important to us - please hold the line"
5 minutes of the 1812 overture, (the bit with the explosions) played on a Rolf Harris Stylophone...........
..............
"Hello, this is A.T. agent Shootamded - get down on your stomach, put your hands on your head and state your business and make it snappy, I still have 5 do-nuts and a coffee to get through."
"Ah, Good morning Agent Shootemded - I wish to report a suspicious character carrying a suspicious object..."
"Describe the object!!"
"Mmm, lets see now, It's about 3" x 2", has a bunch of wires and some batteries, and - OH MY GOD - ONE OF THE WIRES IS RED!.."
OK, calm down sir - what else do you see..?"
"Well, there's a long black tube sticking out of one end, a black push button switch on the other end, and it's all held together with rubber bands"
"Well, it Certainly sounds like an IED Sir, please describe the suspect.."
"he's short, wearing a red shirt, blue checked bedroom slippers, brown trousers and blue braces - he's very old and very ugly - with a large hooked nose"
"That sounds like one of our 'most wanted' - a very dangerous man called 'Iva Bin Fishin' - please remain where you are and observe him carefully. I'll get 17 of my best operators there immediately and we'll disable him with 17 .22 soft points to the head - Oh, and make sure that you identify yourself to my operators by holding a large placard above your head containing the words - 'I AM NOT A TERRORIST - I DO NOT HAVE A BOMB!'....."
".......OH MY GOD! he's lifted the device up to face level, he appears to have his thumb on the button - AND THERE IS SMOKE COMING FROM IT - WHAT SHOULD I DO...?
"I suggest Sir, that you get down on the floor, get into a tight foetal position, push your head as far between your knees as you can and kiss your ... goodbye....
Do Have a nice day and we'll see you when we are sure that the scene is safe."
