Easter, mother-in-law, manners, ignorance.

[DC2]

So, here goes...

I'm driving up to Palm Desert yesterday to visit my wife's family for Easter.
In the car with us is my wife's sister, who lives a bit further away from Palm Desert than we do.

I've been vaping for 7 years and have vaped in my in-laws house on many holiday occasions.
I'm a dedicated Tootie Puffer and never blow any clouds.

So on the way up the wife's sister is telling me something.
Apparently my mother-in-law does not really like me vaping in their house.

The wife's sister told her to not mention it as it really isn't a big deal.
But then, the wife's sister did in fact live with us for about 10 months not too long ago.

Anyway, apparently, the mother-in-law does not want to cause disharmony.
She knows me well, and knows I don't fade away quietly into the night.

I will respect her wishes to not vape indoors in her house if she asks.
But she'll be obligated to get an earful of my opinion on the matter if that happens.

You might say I should respect her wishes now that I've heard them third-hand.
And I would answer you that my mother-in-law is no shrinking violet.

When there is drinking going on, I'm going to vape no matter what.
And this family being Irish and Italian, there is always drinking.


Both my mother-in-law and myself are Sagittarians in the classic sense.
Even if you don't believe in that stuff, which I don't really, but sometimes kinda do.


Regardless, we are both headstrong and mostly fearless.
We speak our minds and hold our ground.

We've butted heads before, and at one point she thought I really did not like her.
Until I told her we were both the same, and I respected her greatly.
Since that time we have become the best of friends.


So, tell me your views on any aspect of this situation.
Being a Sagittarius I promise not to care about your opinion, but will enjoy hearing it.

 

[Robino1]

Gotta hand it to ya, DC, you sure know how to start threads that make people think....

 

[DC2]

Gotta hand it to ya, DC, you sure know how to start threads that make people think....

If people don't think, what good are they?


Might want to be ready to close this down.
It could get ugly fast.

 

[Robino1]

Why'd ya think I posted?

Automatically subscribed

 

[daviedog]

If your mother in law is fearless/headstrong,,why didn't she just tell you straight up?
Btw i do believe & respect the Castle Doctrine..

 

[DC2]

Ah yes, the usual calm before the storm.

 

[Kprthevapr]

So, here goes...

I'm driving up to Palm Desert yesterday to visit my wife's family for Easter.
In the car with us is my wife's sister, who lives a bit further away from Palm Desert than we do.

I've been vaping for 7 years and have vaped in my in-laws house on many holiday occasions.
I'm a dedicated Tootie Puffer and never blow any clouds.

So on the way up the wife's sister is telling me something.
Apparently my mother-in-law does not really like me vaping in their house.

The wife's sister told her to not mention it as it really isn't a big deal.
But then, the wife's sister did in fact live with us for about 10 months not too long ago.

Anyway, apparently, the mother-in-law does not want to cause disharmony.
She knows me well, and knows I don't fade away quietly into the night.

I will respect her wishes to not vape indoors in her house if she asks.
But she'll be obligated to get an earful of my opinion on the matter if that happens.

You might say I should respect her wishes now that I've heard them third-hand.
And I would answer you that my mother-in-law is no shrinking violet.

When there is drinking going on, I'm going to vape no matter what.
And this family being Irish and Italian, there is always drinking.


Both my mother-in-law and myself are Sagittarians in the classic sense.
Even if you don't believe in that stuff, which I don't really, but sometimes kinda do.


Regardless, we are both headstrong and mostly fearless.
We speak our minds and hold our ground.

We've butted heads before, and at one point she thought I really did not like her.
Until I told her we were both the same, and I respected her greatly.
Since that time we have become the best of friends.


So, tell me your views on any aspect of this situation.
Being a Sagittarius I promise not to care about your opinion, but will enjoy hearing it.

Best way to solve that is, stop at our house next time you're in the neighborhood, we condone vaping in the house. Let the wife go see mom! Problem solved

 

[DC2]

Best way to solve that is, stop at our house next time you're in the neighborhood, we condone vaping in the house. Let the wife go see mom! Problem solved

I'm not sure your husband and I see eye-to-eye all the time.
But that's nothing a good beer can't solve.

 

[bwh79]

See, on the one hand, you know she would prefer that you didn't, and it seems you have no problem with respecting that, but only if she asks you not to, specifically. And if it were in a public place, that would be one thing. But when it's in her own house, then I would think you should ask first, and only then vape inside if you get the okay. Ideally, the weather will be particularly nasty when you get there and you can say "is it alright if I vape in the house, or would you prefer that I go outside?" Then it's on her to be the ...... and make you go stand in the rain, while you get to be the good guy instead of "*mumble grumble* ....... son-in-law always smoking that thing in my house, doesn't even ask me first..."

...on the other hand, if you really are the headstrong type, then go ahead and poke that bear. See what happens, maybe it'll be fun.

 

[Kprthevapr]

I'm not sure your husband and I see eye-to-eye all the time.
But that's nothing a good beer can't solve.

We are Irish too

 

[bwh79]

(double post)

 

[DC2]

We are Irish too

And apparently a Conor McGregor fan I would imagine.
I like him.

But I'm French-Canadian mostly.
And I was always a Georges St. Pierre fan.

 

[Kprthevapr]

And apparently a Conor McGregor fan I would imagine.
I like him.

But I'm French-Canadian mostly.
And I was always a Georges St. Pierre fan.

Conor "by God" McGregor as we call him here
GSP was the man in his day not a Rory MacDonald fan though lol

 

[DC2]

If your mother in law is fearless/headstrong,,why didn't she just tell you straight up?

I can only assume it's because she knows I won't go quietly into the night.

But when it's in her own house, then I would think you should ask first, and only then vape inside if you get the okay.

I've been vaping in their place for the last 7 years.
I'm pretty sure I asked in the beginning and they didn't have a problem with it.

But they read many of the articles that have slowly poisoned everyone against us.
So maybe at some point she started to have a change of heart.
:shrug:

 

[spartanstew]

I've been vaping in their place for the last 7 years.
I'm pretty sure I asked in the beginning and they didn't have a problem with it.

But you're not positive?

And even if you are, things change. Maybe they didn't mind before, but now they do. So what?

No way would I vape in someone's house if they didn't vape (or smoke). That thought has never even crossed my mind.

 

[B2L]

My mother in law, one night at dinner, says to me "you know, they say those are just as bad as cigarettes for you"

They were at my house, I told her she was welcome to go stand outside while I vaped.

Nah, we actually had a good conversation about "who is they?" and "they be wrong". Then I told her she could stand outside.

 

[Robino1]

Does a court of law allow hearsay as testimony? His SIL's statement may or may not be true.
The OP stated that he may (probably did) have asked for the ok to vape. If that stance has changed on the MIL's part, is it not up to her to ask him to stop at this late date?

Torn here. I can see both sides of the issue.

I don't envy you, DC.

 

[B2L]

Does a court of law allow hearsay as testimony? His SIL's statement may or may not be true.
The OP stated that he may (probably did) have asked for the ok to vape. If that stance has changed on the MIL's part, is it not up to her to ask him to stop at this late date?

Torn here. I can see both sides of the issue.

I don't envy you, DC.

Since we're being serious here, I would approach said MIL and ask her. Something along the lines of "I understand through the grapevine that my vaping in the house is bothering you. If it does I will be more than happy to take it outside, or just in the bathroom, but don't want to offend you with it."

 

[Robino1]

Ultimately, it is up to DC to decide how he wants to approach this, if he even wants to open that can of worms.

 

[YoursTruli]

I think I would respect the fact she does not like you vaping in her home and not do it, it is not all that unusual for family members to tell someone other than the person themselves how they really feel about something. Vaping is something I personally choose to do and if others voice, even indirectly, they object to it in their home or do not want to be exposed to it I respect that, it really doesn't matter what their reasons are.