Easter, mother-in-law, manners, ignorance.

[pennysmalls]

I'm trying to imagine someone doing something in my home that I did not want occurring and the one thing I keep coming back to is that if it's a real issue for me no way would I not say something, it's my home. MIL would surely say something if it was truly bothering her, especially if she's anything like DC described. Or maybe, DC, she loves you enough to let it go.

 

[Hitmetwice]

Why not grab your drink hit the porch and vape. While your out there your lovely wife and her family will most likely have a discussion about the situation.
MIL comes out and invites you back in.(or not)
No sweat on your brow DC2.
Cheers.

 

[edyle]

1: I will respect her wishes to not vape indoors in her house if she asks.
2: But she'll be obligated to get an earful of my opinion on the matter if that happens.

#1 sounds reasonable.
#2.... not so much.

 

[HauntedMyst]

Well first, thanks for that.


But if you're not careful, I might just mention how I believe in God.
That ought to really screw things up good.

You're welcome! And no, that would make sense to me, not screw things up!

I'm a San Diego Padres fan.
I've got nothing else to believe in.

You could be a Cubs fan and have your soul completely crushed. The Cubs failures have been enough to turn me into a NatWest Twenty20 Cricket fan.

 

[Vapeing baker]

I'm a bit head strong as well but I wouldn't vape\smoke in someone's house if they didn't don't smoke or vape.don't even smoke or vape when travelling for hours going fishing with my mates mostly all non smokers but if your in my house then I'm going to vape .irish and Italian don't recon I'd be pokein that bear.good luck

 

[crxess]

You did that so well, I could actually see all that happening

It's a Grandpa thing

 

[rico942]

Have a similar situation with a long-time friend and his wife, who I visit frequently ...

My buddy is the kind that would not object if I set fire to his couch, he is unshakeable and we are closer than most brothers ...

Two years ago his wife was very enthusiastic about my switch to vaping, assured me it was no problem in their home, and even converted her brother to vaping with some disposables that I provided. She often commented on the pleasant aroma of menthol juices, and always asked intelligent questions about advances in vaping technology (she is a retired engineer with multiple degrees), noticed that I no longer coughed incessantly, and seemed genuinely impressed with my overall improved health ...

Sadly, since then the anti-vaping media blitz has turned even this otherwise reasonable and tolerant person into a suspicious critic. The pressure to be fearful of vaping must be simply overwhelming to those who don't participate, I can barely imagine the influence. We as vapers are "immunized" against this, but without the first-hand personal observations of improved health that we experience, the disinformation can take a firm hold ...

On the advice of her daughter-in-law, a doctor and outspoken vaping critic, her brother has since quit vaping (and started smoking again). He had been a heavy smoker for over 30 years, experienced many of the typical quit-smoking detox issues, and mistakenly attributed them to vaping. His chronic bronchitis has worsened ...

The strange thing is, while I no longer vape in their home (which is not that troublesome to me), its a topic I must carefully avoid when visiting. I just can't sit quietly while someone "cautions" me about the "dangers of vaping" quoted from the latest ANTZ hit piece ...

To those with family members critical of vaping, my deepest sympathy. My family is scattered and dysfunctional, I don't have to deal with any of their prejudices ...

By the way, I'm also a Sagittarius, and don't really believe in astrology, except when it supports what I already think ...

 

[DebiK]

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[MudVaper]

This thread reminds me why I'm glad to live a few thousand miles from my in-laws.

 

[7sixtwo]

I think that a true "best friend" would care to do enough research on the subject to see that vapor causes no harm to "bystanders", or their environs, and would then have no problem with you responsibly vaping, (meaning you're not blowing obnoxious clouds or exhaling into anyone's face), in his/her home.

Just mho.

 

[celticluvr]

I get it from both ends... I live with my fiance and his dad (we care for him) and my mom is like I did not raise you to be that way. And his dad (VERY STUBBORN @ 75) says it causes your lungs to fill up with fluid. No matter what evidence and studies I read they are all blah blah blabbity blah........ I am still allowed to vape in both houses because (in my mom's view) it doesn't stain/ruin walls nor does it stink. But I still have to listen to her mouth. I love my mom to pieces but I can't ever live with her again. We are too much alike (crazy for being biologically unrelated. I'm adopted ) for us to live together comfortably. I'm a Sagittarius and she's a Scorpio.... Which is weird cuz so is my fiance but he's a guy so way easier to live with. (Sometimes....)

 

[gofishtx]

Her house her rules, but it is up to your MIL to say something to you about the vaping, not your SIL. You could ask her and if she tells you not to vape in the house, just enjoy the chance to get away from the relatives on the porch. You could always fill up on beans before the visit and have a few gassy incidents indoors, if the no vaping really bothers you, and you would like to perfume the air for your MIL. Last I heard, no one found a way to ban farting.

 

[MsLoud]

Being a Sagittarius I promise not to care about your opinion, but will enjoy hearing it.

Can I steal this for my siggy? Sums me up perfectly!

And being Sagittarius myself - I would hear what the family member is saying but still would want to hear it from the source and then I would respect their wishes. Just like when my very dear and best friend wanted to bring her 2 year old to lunch with us one day - I said "I'd rather you not. I've heard your daughter screaming in the background while you eat in your own house...and you think she's being cute." She respected my wishes and respect hers. I don't vape in her house and she doesn't bring her "little darling" to mine.

 

[Douggro]

You could be a Cubs fan and have your soul completely crushed.

"Do they still play the blues in Chicago
When baseball season rolls around?
When the snow melts away, do the Cubbies still play
In their ivy-covered burial ground?

"When I was a boy, they were my pride and joy
But now they only bring fatigue
To the home of the brave, the land of the free
And the doormat of the National League"

 

[Douggro]

So, tell me your views on any aspect of this situation.
Being a Sagittarius I promise not to care about your opinion, but will enjoy hearing it.

I'll jump in late to the party and only skim through 50+ replies..

T'was not the SIL's place to mention or bring the matter up, even if it is an issue with the MIL.
Even though you are "family" with MIL, you are a guest in her home and should afford respect just as you would when visiting someone else's home.
Ask MIL if she has any objections to your vaping in the house. Abide by her wishes.

Easy-peasey.

If you want Drama Llamas in your life, watch anything on the E! Network.

 

[anavidfan]

Im going to have to go with crxess suspicions also.

Families, you cant live with them and you cant kill em.....

They do love drama, and holidays seems to bring out the worst.

If like you say, MIL is strong willed tenacious lady, she would have said something a long time ago.
Most likely its the SIL that is bothered by it and does not have the guts to say so. Like rico mentioned, the SIL watches too much morning and daytime talk shows and reads too much good housekeeping and "better homes than yours" and is freaking out and joining the scary vapor band wagon.

If you can, erase the whole SIL conversation and vape away just as if it never happened.

Now whatever you do , DO talk to your wife and see what she thinks. Im sure she knows her sister well enough to know if she is just being "catty" She know her mother and she would know if her mother/ your MIL would be able to be two-faced.

Families be worse than enemies or politicians. In the end its you and your wife when all is said and done. If you piss off the SIL or MIL, oh well, but dont piss off your wife..... There might be blood.

 

[Douggro]

If you piss off the SIL or MIL, oh well, but dont piss off your wife..... There might be blood.

And if you do cross the line with the missus, learn to sleep with one eye open.

 

[Mr.Watkins]

Sure, MIL's house is MIL's house. But after years of feeling like I really did deserve to be sentenced to a chain smoker's hell of missing the second half of conversations and movies, alone in the cold with my poison; I'm always really disappointed when I get the same treatment for using my vaporizer. I honestly enjoy smoking cigarettes more than vaping, so when I'm not allowed to vape, it feels like I'm getting a smack as a reward for my good deed, rather than the minimal tolerance I would expect. On top of that... the combination of ignorance and smugness some people convey when explaining to me that "an electronic cigarette is a cigarette" makes me wish my tank had a cherry I could put out on their face (not a reference to your MIL, just finishing my rant).

 

[Racehorse]

Hmmm....

I actually posted this without talking to my wife about the incident at all.
So I just asked her and she agrees that her sister should have kept her mouth shut.

Strangely, that's an angle I had never even considered.

Can't control other people's actions, only our own, so SIL opening mouth really has zero bearing on how YOU act/react.

I agree with YourTruli. Family members will often complain/confide in other family members instead of seeking out direct communication with somebody.

You admitted you were headstrong and opinionated so maybe your mother in Law doesn't want to have a confrontation with you----but prefers you don't vape in her home. so she told somebody else kinda hoping they would pass that hint along to you.

It really doesn't matter what your MIL's reasons are. She doesn't need any. It's her home and she is queen of that roost.

 

[WattWick]

I am a bit ambivalent on this topic. While I don't think the MIL is "right" in her concerns - I do think "respecting someones house rules" includes not starting an argument about it.

Then again, with an element of he-said/she-said... it may be harder maintaining a good relationship without some kind of direct exchange. At that point, I see no other option than asking what the MIL in question actually thinks - and coming to some kind of mutual understanding. Just make sure she's properly boozed up and I'm sure it'll be fine.