How do you drive one insane?
Put him in a round room and tell him to pee in the corner!
Emerald City Comedy Central
- Thread starter The Wiz
- Start date
- th_trl_thread_readers 0
- Status
How do you drive one insane?
Put him in a round room and tell him to pee in the corner!
How do you drive one insane?
Put him in a round room and tell him to pee in the corner!
I gotta go potty!!!!! But I can't find a corner!
I gotta go potty!!!!! But I can't find a corner!
---- lshwmp ---- 8-o
I gotta go change panties,
A husband and wife were watching Who Wants To Be A Millionaire while in bed.
He turned to her and said, "Do you want to have sex?"
"No," she answered.
He then said, "Is that your final answer?"
She didn't even look at him this time, simply growling out a "Yes."
So he said, "Then I'd like to phone a friend.."
And that's when the fight started....
He turned to her and said, "Do you want to have sex?"
"No," she answered.
He then said, "Is that your final answer?"
She didn't even look at him this time, simply growling out a "Yes."
So he said, "Then I'd like to phone a friend.."
And that's when the fight started....
ha ha -- cant do that vicks,
I hate cleaning up the puddles on the floor,
you guys make me laugh so hard
I am forever -- ILSHWMP --
I Laughed So Hard Wet My Panties.......8-o
I've got a bunch of these - so I'm going to share every day...
A woman was standing nude, looking in the bedroom mirror. She was not happy with what she saw and said to her husband, 'I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly. I really need you to pay me a compliment.'
The husband replies, 'Your eyesight's damn near perfect.'
And then the fight started......
A woman was standing nude, looking in the bedroom mirror. She was not happy with what she saw and said to her husband, 'I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly. I really need you to pay me a compliment.'
The husband replies, 'Your eyesight's damn near perfect.'
And then the fight started......
Oh....so it's marriage jokes this week eh? OK.... here's one for you....
How come married women are heavier than single women?
A single woman goes home, sees what's in the fridge, and goes to bed. A married woman sees what's in bed and goes to the fridge.
How come married women are heavier than single women?
A single woman goes home, sees what's in the fridge, and goes to bed. A married woman sees what's in bed and goes to the fridge.
Oh....so it's marriage jokes this week eh? OK.... here's one for you....
How come married women are heavier than single women?
A single woman goes home, sees what's in the fridge, and goes to bed. A married woman sees what's in bed and goes to the fridge.
And another marriage joke for ya
the 3 stages of marriage
1 - the honeymoon stage - where you're getting action all the time...whenever, wherever...it's all good.
2- the comfortable stage - not quite so much action, but its fairly regular and always good...
3- the oral sex stage - where you're sleeping in separate bedrooms, in different beds, and you turn out the lights at night, and one yells F-U and the othe yells F-U right back!
And another marriage joke for ya
the 3 stages of marriage
1 - the honeymoon stage - where you're getting action all the time...whenever, wherever...it's all good.
2- the comfortable stage - not quite so much action, but its fairly regular and always good...
3- the oral sex stage - where you're sleeping in separate bedrooms, in different beds, and you turn out the lights at night, and one yells F-U and the othe yells F-U right back!
thats me,
then I get out the keyboard, and make love to my cyberlovers
now that is all gooooood .........
Everyone is in a hurry to scream 'racism' these days!
'In what aisle could I find the Polish sausage?' the older gentleman asked.
The clerk looks at him and says, 'Are you Polish?'
The guy (clearly offended) says, 'Well, yes I am.
'But let me ask you something' he says, clearly getting on a soap box, ready to roll. 'If I had asked for Italian sausage, would you ask me if I was Italian?
Or if I had asked for German Bratwurst, would you ask me if I was German?
Or if I asked for a kosher hot dog would you ask me if I was Jewish?
Or if I had asked for a taco, would you ask if I was Mexican?'
'If I asked for some Irish whiskey, would you ask if I was Irish?'
The clerk says, 'Well, no, I probably wouldn't!'
Ready for the finale, the man, flushed with deep self-righteous indignation, says, 'Well then, why did you ask me if I'm Polish because I asked for Polish sausage?'
The clerk replied, 'Because you're in Home Depot'
'In what aisle could I find the Polish sausage?' the older gentleman asked.
The clerk looks at him and says, 'Are you Polish?'
The guy (clearly offended) says, 'Well, yes I am.
'But let me ask you something' he says, clearly getting on a soap box, ready to roll. 'If I had asked for Italian sausage, would you ask me if I was Italian?
Or if I had asked for German Bratwurst, would you ask me if I was German?
Or if I asked for a kosher hot dog would you ask me if I was Jewish?
Or if I had asked for a taco, would you ask if I was Mexican?'
'If I asked for some Irish whiskey, would you ask if I was Irish?'
The clerk says, 'Well, no, I probably wouldn't!'
Ready for the finale, the man, flushed with deep self-righteous indignation, says, 'Well then, why did you ask me if I'm Polish because I asked for Polish sausage?'
The clerk replied, 'Because you're in Home Depot'
Oh geez!!!!! i should have seen that one coming!!! Wiz and Walkman will LOVE that one!!!
Now..... on a more serious note... Vicks and Jo,,,this is especially for you because I know that you are VERY concerned with womens health issues, and I firmly believe that this could help both of you!!!
Important Women’s Health Issue:
Do you have feelings of inadequacy?
Do you suffer from shyness?
Do you sometimes wish you were more assertive?
If you answered yes to any of these questions, ask your doctor or pharmacist about Margaritas.
Margaritas are the safe, natural way to feel better and more confident about yourself and your actions.
Margaritas can help ease you out of your shyness and let you tell the world that you're ready and willing to do just about anything.
You will notice the benefits of Margaritas almost immediately and with a regimen of regular doses you can overcome any obstacles that prevent you from living the life you want to live.
Shyness and awkwardness will be a thing of the past and you will discover many talents you never knew you had. Stop hiding and start living, with Margaritas.
Margaritas may not be right for everyone. Women who are pregnant or nursing should not use Margaritas. However, women who wouldn't mind nursing or becoming pregnant are encouraged to try it.
Side effects may include: Dizziness, nausea, vomiting, incarceration, Erotic lustfulness, Loss of motor control, Loss of clothing, Loss of money, Loss of virginity, Table dancing, Headache, Dehydration, Dry mouth, And a desire to sing Karaoke
WARNING: The consumption of Margaritas may make you think you are whispering when you are not, may cause you to tell your friends over and over again that you love them, may cause you to think you can sing, make you think you can logically converse with members of the opposite sex without spitting.
Now..... on a more serious note... Vicks and Jo,,,this is especially for you because I know that you are VERY concerned with womens health issues, and I firmly believe that this could help both of you!!!
Important Women’s Health Issue:
Do you have feelings of inadequacy?
Do you suffer from shyness?
Do you sometimes wish you were more assertive?
If you answered yes to any of these questions, ask your doctor or pharmacist about Margaritas.
Margaritas are the safe, natural way to feel better and more confident about yourself and your actions.
Margaritas can help ease you out of your shyness and let you tell the world that you're ready and willing to do just about anything.
You will notice the benefits of Margaritas almost immediately and with a regimen of regular doses you can overcome any obstacles that prevent you from living the life you want to live.
Shyness and awkwardness will be a thing of the past and you will discover many talents you never knew you had. Stop hiding and start living, with Margaritas.
Margaritas may not be right for everyone. Women who are pregnant or nursing should not use Margaritas. However, women who wouldn't mind nursing or becoming pregnant are encouraged to try it.
Side effects may include: Dizziness, nausea, vomiting, incarceration, Erotic lustfulness, Loss of motor control, Loss of clothing, Loss of money, Loss of virginity, Table dancing, Headache, Dehydration, Dry mouth, And a desire to sing Karaoke
WARNING: The consumption of Margaritas may make you think you are whispering when you are not, may cause you to tell your friends over and over again that you love them, may cause you to think you can sing, make you think you can logically converse with members of the opposite sex without spitting.
Do I need a prescription for these - or can I just get them over the counter???? I'd like a 30 day supply, please!!!
A man and Wife were sitting at a table at his high school reunion, and he kept staring at a drunken lady swigging her drink as she sat alone at a nearby table.
The wife asked, 'Do you know her?'
'Yes,' he sighed, 'She's my old girlfriend. I understand she took to drinking right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear she hasn't been sober since.'
'My God!' said the wife, 'who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?'
and that's where the fight started...
The wife asked, 'Do you know her?'
'Yes,' he sighed, 'She's my old girlfriend. I understand she took to drinking right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear she hasn't been sober since.'
'My God!' said the wife, 'who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?'
and that's where the fight started...
Handle every situation like a dog
If you can't eat it, or hump it...
P!ss on it and walk away.
If you can't eat it, or hump it...
P!ss on it and walk away.
I took my wife to a restaurant. The waiter, for some reason, took my order first.
"I'll have the strip steak, medium rare, please."
He said, "Aren't you worried about the mad cow?"
"Nah, she can order for herself."
And then the fight started.....
"I'll have the strip steak, medium rare, please."
He said, "Aren't you worried about the mad cow?"
"Nah, she can order for herself."
And then the fight started.....
I tried to talk my wife into buying a case of Miller Light for $14.95. Instead, she bought a jar of cold cream for $7.95. I told her the beer would make her look better at night than the cold cream.
And then the fight started....
And then the fight started....
I tried to talk my wife into buying a case of Miller Light for $14.95. Instead, she bought a jar of cold cream for $7.95. I told her the beer would make her look better at night than the cold cream.
And then the fight started....
I see you got the same email I did......
Gonna have to find some new material...
I see you got the same email I did......
Gonna have to find some new material...
Don't worry about it... You can have the rest of them.. I'll look for something new and different. It's all yours!!!
- Status
Similar threads
