Guilty but proud....

[Hippieangst]

So, I'm nearing 3 months without an analog, but during the last few days, my head had been screaming for a real cigarette. Most of the strong urges I was able to quiet down easily enough, but today's craving hit me at just the right time. I saw somebody on campus (I'm a teacher) who had my brand, and I bummed one off of him. I held onto it until I got home.

I lit up on my deck, and the first couple of puffs took me right back to my first cigarettes when I was in high school. But, after that I felt like I had a dirty ashtray in my mouth. About half way through the smoke, I felt so sick to my stomach that I gave up and put it out.

That's when the guilt crept in, but I also felt really proud for coming this far. Now I have this reminder of how gross analogs are. During these last couple of months, I would, at times, feel twinges of jealousy when I'd see someone smoking; I missed the smell and the experience of a real cigarette. Not anymore.

So, all the effort, all the hours researching juice and gear and PVs, all the money spent, all the fiddling, all the hours on ECF...all totally worth it.

I've loaded up a Tatroe tank with a juice I haven't vaped in a while (Ahlusion's Sasparilla) feel like everything's back to normal. Vape on, friends, vape on!

 

[Mike Sheda]

It happens.. sometimes it's good to remind yourself what you're no longer doing. Tomorrow is another day.

 

[Gaspar74]

Good for you for not going back and for remembering why you quit. We are humans and sometimes we need to be reminded why we stopped. Do not feel guilty feel proud!

 

[Penn]

I keep getting the urge to bum a smoke after about the same amount of time without having one. My actual reason is to see if I get the same negative experience you just reported since I see so many here saying it was disgusting. I know my last one was after almost 2 weeks without and I didn't like it but it wasn't disgusting.

 

[MiamiMom63]

Isn't that amazing! I smoked for 30 years and never would have believed there would be a time in my life that I could honestly not want a cig. I've vaped for a little over two years now. When I first started vaping, after about two weeks I tried a cig and couldn't take more than a few puffs before I flicked it. I think I had to reassure myself that I wasn't missing out on anything. There was hardly any vapor and I felt like I had to suck on it harder to get smoke. Lol. It was just totally different and nasty tasting. I felt like the smell was all over my hands and washed them. Vaping is my miracle! Vaping made my quitting smoking virtually painless.

 

[degnr8]

We've all been there. The important thing is now you know you don't like them any more
Vape on

 

[nicetucu]

I've kinda been feeling like that lately too.... Haven't had one yet, but been close a couple of times. My biggest fear is if I will feel this way for the rest of my days or after 6 months to a year it will go away completely.

 

[VANA]

Extremely proud of you, I've thankfully never had the urge to go back to analogs. But I can imagine h ow controlling that feeling can be. Like you said, you shouldn't feel guilty just proud that your life style has changed and your body knows vapeing is cooler than smoking keep it up.

Happy Vaping.

Don't forget join the fight at : Become a CASAA Member

 

[Hippieangst]

I felt like the smell was all over my hands and washed them.

And how! Teeth brushed twice, showered, and clothes in the hamper.

 

[Statistic]

Very similar experience here as well. Months after stopping I lit one up and absolutely took me right back to being 12 years old taking those first ever puffs off a Marlboro stolen from a friend's dad.

I found it really mind blowing how cigarettes just eventually became repulsive.

Grats on your victory over tobacco!!!

 

[EmeraldLeo1982]

Atleast you don't have one of those "Not smoked since blah, saved blah dollars" forum signatures lol or you'd have to reset it =O

 

[MiamiMom63]

Well, I'd say in the past two years I've tried a cig about 4 times. Luckily I never finished them or liked them, but stupid addicted me still occasionally wanted to make sure I wasn't missing out on anything. Lol. But the last time I had a cig was when my granddaughter was born just over a year ago. So i guess the urge to check them out quit for me after about a year. I wouldn't beat myself up over it though. Every Vape is one less cig so stay proud you went back to the Vape

 

[Hippieangst]

Atleast you don't have one of those "Not smoked since blah, saved blah dollars" forum signatures lol or you'd have to reset it =O

I have one that I don't broadcast publicly...I'm not resetting it. I'll just put a mental asterisk by the tally...

 

[SAG]

Hey - no guilt baby - you are here!!!!!! Congrats to you. For me, the 3 month mark was the toughest. My strongest urges eased after that. I think I was to afraid to "verify" that I wasn't a smoker anymore! Anyway, WTG!

 

[gr1llmeacheese]

Sounds like a great testimonial to me. I would copy/paste it into an email to CASAA stat.

 

[icewall]

I think that/those shame smokes are important. I had a few after I quit too within the first month or so. Repulsive every time, and I had to give up after a puff or two. After that I didn't wonder if a cig might be nice. I knew it would be disgusting because experience demonstrated this. Like others have said, I think without a few accidents, you'll forever be wondering.

 

[WarHawk-AVG]

Atleast you don't have one of those "Not smoked since blah, saved blah dollars" forum signatures lol or you'd have to reset it =O

Hey...I resemble that remark

 

[DasBluCig]

The important thing to remember with vaping is:
It's NOT how many analogs you smoked....
It's how many....you HAVEN'T!!!!
Happy (vaping) Trails!

 

[kushka]

I've kinda been feeling like that lately too.... Haven't had one yet, but been close a couple of times. My biggest fear is if I will feel this way for the rest of my days or after 6 months to a year it will go away completely.

This had me thinking back to another time I quit smoking.

I quit smoking years ago for about a year, and I was haunted the whole time by cigarettes - I would even dream of smoking - and when a major life stressor happened, and I gave myself permission to have just one or two smokes to get through it, I quickly became hooked again.

This time is different. I have vaped for 3 and half years. I do not dream of smoking. A few times I have smoked, the last time was at a funeral a year ago where the pv I had with me stopped working and I bummed a few cigarettes from a fellow mourner to see me through, and every time I smoked, since vaping , I hated it, and have been happy to get back to vaping. I am no longer haunted by smokes.

 

[vicflo]

I actually have a fear of this happening to me... but only when ive been drinking a lot and in a smokey bar setting.