Greetings Fellow Vapers! This is my first post on ECF and I think it's only fitting I begin here!
I am 41 years old and became a full time smoker at the age of 18. Within those 23 years, I would estimate that I was cumulatively smoke-free for about 5 years among various quitting attempts. I was most ashamed of my last stint, as I had just ruined over 3 smoke-free years... I hadn't had a puff from about 2002 to 2005... then stupidly started again... and kept going through 2009. I was at about half a pack of Camel Lights per day.
So, this September, I decided to try to quit again... using my usual method... set a target date, create a schedule for gradual daily cigarette reduction, and then go cold turkey after having my last cigarette. I picked 9/17/09 as my last smoke day because I would then be spending the next 4 days uninterrupted with members of my family who I had been ashamedly hiding my resurrected smoking habit from for the past 4 years.
So, I smoked my last cigarette on 9/17/09 as planned. And having no inclination to fall off the wagon while surrounded by my family, the next 4 days were rather easy for me. However, when I got home to my own place on 9/22, immediately the ONLY thing I could think about was having a cigarette (funny how that works). As I'm sure I don't have to explain to any of you, the mental anguish would continue at varying levels of torture every day after... for me, I always liken it to the classic Angel & Devil on the shoulders scene from Animal House, as I do feel in those moments like the voices in my head are battling for my soul, with the Devil continually prodding me to "just walk down to the gas station and buy one pack... you can always start again tomorrow" and the Angel telling me "be strong, you can do this". It is without a doubt, in those moments, that I feel like I have the closest glimpses into insanity. Currently being an unemployed actor wasn't making it any easier, of course... sitting at home being bored is the perfect recipe for seeking the comfort of a cigarette. Then again, you can say that about any situation, right? When I was working full-time as a financial analyst, it was the stress of work that created the need for a requisite smoke break. So, it really doesn't matter, does it? Anyway...
Then, on 9/26, a miracle happened. A poker buddy of mine sent out an innocuous e-mail to a bunch of us... his subject line read "Time to start smoking?" and the e-mail was nothing more than a "hey check out this cool thing" and a link... which lead to a video and an advertisement disguised as a news article about electronic cigarettes. SAY WHAT? I just couldn't believe what I was reading or seeing!
I then spent the next week obsessively researching these things. I had been dreaming of a product like this for YEARS. I mentioned earlier that the only method I ever used for quitting was going cold turkey... and that's because I know that - for me - nicotine gum or a nicotine patch will only tackle a small part of the problem... for me, the behavior is just as much a factor, if not more so. Meanwhile, I experienced an interesting phenomenon during this week of research... surfing the web and reading about e-cigs for hours on end was in itself serving as a substitute for smoking... once I knew I was definitely going to get me one of these things, that knowledge alone actually served to pacify my need for the time being.
Six days later, I ordered my first electronic cigarette. Now, at this point, I had not only been smoke free for two weeks, but NICOTINE FREE for two weeks as well. So, I saw no need to put any nicotine back in my system. I knew all of my cravings going forward would be primarily psychological. Therefore, I only ordered 0mg (zero nicotine) cartridges with my first e-cig.
Well, almost 9 weeks after receiving my PV, I am still 11 weeks cigarette and nicotine free... and, most importantly, have no desire to pick up an analog. Let me repeat that (because it still boggles my own mind)... no desire to pick up an analog! And I'm still not getting any nicotine!
For me, the relief is immeasurable. For I know, even if I had managed to stay off analogs since stopping in September, every day would be a trial... every day would be difficult... every day I would have to deal with anxiety, stress, and fear. But with my PV, every day has been a breeze.
I mentioned earlier that I'm an unemployed actor. A week after receiving my PV, I got cast in a play... and a week after that rehearsals started. As I also said earlier, we all know that we can point at virtually any situation as ripe for creating a desire to smoke. But rehearsing a play is definitely at the top of my list. Rehearsals can be stressful... and they can also be boring... both of which are conducive to smoke breaks. But, more significantly, about half a dozen of my cast mates smoke. Um, with 2 months of rehearsal, not to mention another 2 months of performances, how long do you think it would have taken for me to break down, bum a smoke off one of my cast members, and fall off the wagon?? I don't know, maybe I would've remained strong and resisted... but knowing myself as I do, I think the more likely scenario would be me telling myself, "Screw this. I need a smoke NOW. I'll quit again after the play is over." I bet you can all relate to that logic, regardless of what you do in your own life! But that never happened. If I wanted to talk to one of my fellow actors about a scene while we were on break, and they were having a smoke... I could join them with my e-cig. Even better, I could vape in the theater when I was off stage. And finally, last night was our Opening Night... one of my cast mates was freaking out before show time that he needed to run outside for a "few quick drags" before the show started... meanwhile, after the show started, I was able to vape in the dressing room and settle my nerves a bit before my stage entrance. Awesome.
Sorry, I know this was a long post, but I'm assuming there are portions within it that everyone can relate to... and I especially want any visitors who are thinking of buying an electronic cigarette to hear my story.
Best of luck to ALL OF YOU in your personal quest to be tobacco free!!