Help me convince my girlfriend....

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Orobas

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.. You ....*ed when I smoked now your ....*ing when I'm trying to quit"

This is probably going to be the story of your life, hon. Some people will never be happy for you. Some people can never be pleased. I have no idea how long you've been together but it's been my experience that you'll never change their mind.
 

catoliver

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I don't really know what to say! Except that I'm shocked that someone who cares for you isn't thrilled that you are giving up something that has been proven to cause cancer, COPD, Emphysema, etc.

It's really kind of sad when I think about it. Sorry you aren't getting the support you deserve. Good thing we are all here to cheer you on. Congratulations, I'm proud of you!
 

kristin

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Oh she does.. She's a nurse and is convinced breathing in anything other then air is bad for you.. UGH..
Bad = Health or danger risk

Driving is bad for you.
Staring at a computer is bad for you.
Having a cell phone is bad for you.
Drinking alcohol is bad for you.
Drinking caffeinated drinks is bad for you.
Not drinking enough water is bad for you.
Eating anything with sugar is bad for you.
Eating anything with "bad fat" is bad for you.
Eating anything grilled is bad for you.
Sitting by a comfy fire is bad for you.
City air is bad for you.
Taking medication is bad for you.
Using cosmetics is bad for you.

Not to mention that there isn't one thing that we do or consume that doesn't have SOME level of risk.

Smoke-free nicotine is no more of a health risk than caffeine and probably less risk than eating most processed, high-fat and high-sugar foods. My question is - does she have a 100% risk-free life? If not, then she has no business telling you what level of risk is acceptable for YOU.
 
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zuzette

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life is a downhill trek towards death. you can't stop theinevitable but you can at least have fun along the way.

tell your gf she has a right to her opinion and you have heard her out but have decided to vape. then tell her you also have the right to not hear her opinion ever time you vape.
respect is two way. agree to disagree and never mention it again because the subject is far too unimportant to ruin your relationship over.
 

grandmato5

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Your girlfriend has a choice to make. She can support your attempt to quit smoking or she can sabotage your attempt by belittling your choice of vaping. No, vaping has not been proven to be 100 percent safe. BUT it IS safer then smoking cigarettes. As Kristin pointed out, there are LOTS of things in our lives that are not 100 percent safe, in fact very few things we do are, but if someone is attempting to improve something about their life I'd say that deserves to be supported by someone that professes to love you even if she doesnt wish to stand 100 percent behind your decision.

I have a hubby that did not support my vaping when I started. He simply stopped smoking one day and thought I should just do the same thing. It took him a while to get to this point, but even he will chime in with positive things about my vaping to people he knows smoke when he hears them asking about vaping now. His biggest negative now is that he doesn't understand why I need more then one or two APV's. :D Even I have a hard time explaining why I NEED the collection that I have :laugh: I admit he might be right about that, BUT I tell him I'll get rid of a some of my vaping stuff as soon as I see him getting rid of some of his toys in the garage :p
 

RosaJ

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Reading your original post I immediately sensed my emotions flaring up. Then I continued reading all of the following posts and understood I wasn't the only one that felt that way. Then all of a sudden, as I was getting down to the end, I realized you're talking about your girlfriend. You're not married to her, right? Well, I don't know either of you, but based on your narrative, it seems that her attack on your vaping is more of an attack on your character as you're flawed no matter what you do because you continue to do something she disapproves of.

It's none of my business, but I ask you (and you don't have to answer me) why do you continue in a relationship that does not grant you the freedom to make your own decisions about your own body? Just because she's a nurse it doesn't make her the almighty authority on wholesome healthy living. I know, I worked with nurses and doctors in a hospital setting and believe me, they have their own doozie "habits." You'd be amazed at the things that go on in a surgery suite while the patient is asleep.

My intention is not to offend you, nor your girlfriend. But as Hoosier said, there might be something else involved in the whole dynamic other than vaping.

Hope you find a mutually satisfactory compromise, and continue to vape on!
 

Black Strat

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Smoke-free nicotine is no more of a health risk than caffeine and probably less risk than eating most processed, high-fat and high-sugar foods. My question is - does she have a 100% risk-free life? If not, then she has no business telling you what level of risk is acceptable for YOU.

Well said, Kristin!
 

Ictinike

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I'm also with Hoosier.. she's obviously not happy about something [else] and your an easy scapegoat to let her vent..

What I am about to say, do not take lightly and think this through several times..

If she's this way now, she'll be this way forever; spend your new time not smoking finding someone else.

Just sayin.. While a loving nudge from time to time to wrap your thick male brain about why you should stop smoking (hey, I'm the same way) is encouraged, she should also understand that it's an addiction and any addiction, have it be smoking, alcohol or even porn, is something very hard to break.

Encourage her to encourage you instead. If she ever thought second hand smoke was bad for a relationship, ask her if belittlement and discouragement makes it work any better.

Just 2c bro, don't sweat it :)
 

Arcticchill360

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The same thing happened to me when i first started vaping, my girlfriend hated that i smoke andmade sure i knew i knew it every time i lit one up. When i started vaping the first thing was "So you just traded it for something else" it took a little time and some explaining about what it is and the whole harm reduction aspect of the equation and thing settled down now shes happy that i quit and im doing somthing thats better for me. (she would like for me to stop completley it will happen ....when im dead) but all is good now, if you take anything out of this whole thread i would just sit down and explain and if that doesnt work and shes still not happy.... then O WELL you tried and move on!! just keep vaping!!
 

Orobas

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These women you guys know sound like my mom.

I don't talk to her anymore.

In any case, it seems like we have a couple of options here.

1) lose your temper one good time and she'll eventually find something new to complain about, like the expensive restaurant you took her too for your anniversary you had to make a reservation for 6 months in advance, your car, your job, your favorite tee shirt, your family, your hair, your lack of hair, your choice of soap and snackfood

- OR -

2) run away while you still can.
 

Todoubled05

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I think some of y'all are over analyzing my relationship. She's a good girl and I Love her, this is the only thing she complains about. We have been together for 2 years and she's the love of my life.. I made this thread to get advice on how to explain to her how vape is different from smoke.. All the wonderful things she does for me makes up for her .....ing about vaping. I'm not mad at anyone for expressing their opinions or advise. I appreciate all the comments and the honesty.

However there were some helpful comments and for that I'm greatful. Ill update everyone how the talk went as soon as I have it.


Thanks.
 

Tallmaan84

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People tell me the same thing. Everyone has an addiction. Mine just saved my life. Screw ignorant people who judge my vaping. My stepdaughter lived with my parents(long story). They smoked in their house and she suffered horrible migraines. When we finally got her, she went through a miraculous change in a couple of weeks. Her headaches went away, her appetite improved, and and she loves to play outside again. We still vape and love it. Screw those who judge my vaping. It has greatly helped this household
 

Spazmelda

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I think some of y'all are over analyzing my relationship. She's a good girl and I Love her, this is the only thing she complains about. We have been together for 2 years and she's the love of my life.. I made this thread to get advice on how to explain to her how vape is different from smoke.. All the wonderful things she does for me makes up for her .....ing about vaping. I'm not mad at anyone for expressing their opinions or advise. I appreciate all the comments and the honesty.

However there were some helpful comments and for that I'm greatful. Ill update everyone how the talk went as soon as I have it.


Thanks.

I hear you. If I dumped every friend or relative that ever disagreed with me I'd be a very lonely person. I any relationship there are going to be disagreements. Dealing with them in a mature way is the right way to go, IMO.

Here's something I've been reading that I really like, http://whyquit.com/studies/Tobacco_Harm_Reduction_2010.pdf

It is a collection of papers that lays out and discusses various aspects of harm reduction and goes, in depth, into the deceptions that are being perpetrated by the prohibitionists and possible reasons why. It's not really surprising that your girlfriend, being in health care and all, has some misperceptions about the valitidy of harm reduction. We are awash in deliberate disinformation by many health organizations. They have their reasons, although (IMO, again) it is dishonest, immoral, and unethical what they are doing.
 

thinkingaboutit

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Bad = Health or danger risk

Driving is bad for you.
Staring at a computer is bad for you.
Having a cell phone is bad for you.
Drinking alcohol is bad for you.
Drinking caffeinated drinks is bad for you.
Not drinking enough water is bad for you.
Eating anything with sugar is bad for you.
Eating anything with "bad fat" is bad for you.
Eating anything grilled is bad for you.
Sitting by a comfy fire is bad for you.
City air is bad for you.
Taking medication is bad for you.
Using cosmetics is bad for you.

At least I avoid cosmetics. One more point for being a man.
 

Orobas

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I hear you. If I dumped every friend or relative that ever disagreed with me I'd be a very lonely person. I any relationship there are going to be disagreements. Dealing with them in a mature way is the right way to go, IMO.

Disagreement is one thing. Nagging, belittling, and ridiculing the man is another thing entirely. ESPECIALLY when it's over something that may have potentially saved his life.

And why? Because clearly she suffers from The Dunning-Kruger Effect.
 

Rocketpunk

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We used to sneak into the bathroom during work to hotbox a halfie (half of a real cigarette). He'd use it after we were done, come back, and say, "Who's smoking in the bathroom?!" No one would ever fess up. But now, when I vape in the bathroom, our boss knows exactly who was back there. "Dammit, Billy, the bathroom smells like butterscotch again!" :vapor:
 
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