House of Hybrids featuring the Zenesis PV

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zygote

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Ian, If I could afford to go, I would be there a week early, just so I did not miss a thing. It sucks to be poor. Being poor also compounds depression and being depressed makes it hard to go to work to make the money so you feel better. It is a vicious circle that is sometimes hard to break. I am using that ladder right now but not to get out of the gutter. It is lots of fun in here!!!!
Having money does not make you happy, as does bieng poor make you depressed. Look at what you have: A family, home and all the loved ones around you, that makes you rich, not matierial things. Stop looking at what other people have and live the life you have.......IT'S A GOOD THING!
 

Katz123

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Please remind your self that you are normal all the time, but sometimes you feel a little sick and down. That is not abnormal. It is just not up to snuff or feeling perfect. Never think of yourself as not normal!!!!

+1...everyone notices it before you do. Another thing I've noticed, about myself in a depressive state is that I sometimes almost like it. Not, like it, but wierdly, it's my comfort zone. Keep in mind I've been depressed since I was young, something like 8-9 years old. I would lie in bed and WORRY about what would happen if my grandpa, grandma or mother died...and I would work myself into what I know now was depression. I was actually diagnosed when i was 19, put on antidepressants..(which were not exactly like the ones today).
Anyway, I've been there so often, sometimes I didn't want to crawl out of the pit...I knew this feeling and it was soooo much effort to change it. I guess it's similar to a woman who lives with abuse....that is HER normal.
Luckily, it isn't nearly as bad as it used to be. The episodes are much less intense and MUCH shorter lived. I think my periods of sadness are now just normal ups and downs.

Take care Ian. It's a process, but one you can come through.

I've also noticed that my "depressed" friends have a very dry, dark sense of humor too. When we're "normal" we're great fun to be around.
 

Katz123

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Well aren't you just a sick in the mud....Hrrrmmmph!!! I never said that money would help my depression either!!!!

EDIT: You definitely sound like one of those people that just says pull up your boot straps and get on with it. Just try that when you are missing chemicals that are necessary to live!!!!! Try it with low blood sugar or high blood sugar and see how you make out. There is no difference. You would not say the same thing to someone with diabetes.

Having money does not make you happy, as does bieng poor make you depressed. Look at what you have: A family, home and all the loved ones around you, that makes you rich, not matierial things. Stop looking at what other people have and live the life you have.......IT'S A GOOD THING!
 
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JENerationX

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I love you all. You're awesome.

I think some of the problem with depression, is knowing that nobody really wants to see it in all its glory. So you crack jokes, and laugh, and act "normal" but on the inside you're a train wreck. So, yeah.... sometimes it feels good to shut the phone off and not deal with anyone so you can just go through it. I took an antidepressant 20 years ago, and that was a train wreck, so just now finally willing to try the meds. I'm on a very low dose of zoloft. That's actually been pretty good. Keeps me from any kind of daily doom and gloom and takes the edge off some when I do have a bad cycle.

Ian, don't delete any posts. I think it's great when people come forward. It makes me personally feel like less of a freak knowing that I'm NOT the only one that goes through it. I mean, we all theoretically know that, but unless you have friends and family that have it, you don't hear the personal accounts in your day to day.

On a being thankful for the good things note.... THANK GOD for vaping. My past cycles have included staying up for 48 hours or more, and/or sleeping for days, and a cigarette in my mouth for just about every waking minute. I would come out of it eventually, but really did a number on myself, felt like hell for doing it, and my asthma didn't appreciate it. This time, I'm on the other side of it, and I don't feel like I've been on a bender. My lungs are clear, my energy never got as low as it can, and I didn't have to stress about having to make a 2 AM gas station run and interact with someone to get my nicotine. It might be small, but even down in the rabbit hole, I felt like if I kept vaping, at least I did care about myself enough to do something healthier than smoke.
 

elfstone

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Okay, so now I have spent most of my day coming up with a theory of conciousness. Thank you to Messieurs Sartre, Camus, Marcel, and Herr Kierkegaard and Herr Heidegger, and Senore Juan de la Cruz, and all those Platonists and Materialists.

Now to grocery shopping in order to make some sandwiches.

After all, there is no question more important. The answer may be elusive, but nothing is easy...

What's for dinner, that's the question...
 
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