You'd better sit down. This is going to be a long one.
I wasn't planning on quitting smoking. I mean, I had thought about it and tried different methods before, even quit a few times for months at a time. But that was always planned and prepared for and each day without analogs was a struggle of epic proportions.
Once I quit for almost a year. My family was so proud of me. Seriously, they couldn't stop talking about it and asking me, "How long has it been now?" and throwing ticker-tape parades so that it made the whole process even more stressful and full of pressure. I not only had to fight through nic withdrawal and breaking the habit, I had to add the worry of letting them down. Plus, if I managed to NOT think about smoking for five minutes, they managed to remind me with their congratulations.
Don't get me wrong. I know they love me dearly and only wanted to be supportive, but their support was smothering. Which is why, when I started smoking again, I never told them or did it in front of them. I was home alone, recovering from surgery, and bored out of my mind. I have a home office in a separate building on our property and no one goes in there except me. I snuck out to the store, bought a pack, and started smoking only outside or in my office. I know it's next to impossible to hide a smoking habit, but I did it pretty well for several years with elaborate use of hair deodorizer, perfume, mouthwash, putting fresh clothes in a ziplock bag and slipping into "smoking clothes" and then changing back, etc. If I listed all my strategies, this post would be a novel, but even though my family probably had their suspicions, no one had any proof. If they did, they would definitely have staged an intervention.
I still loved smoking and didn't want to give up the one thing I truly enjoy just for myself. As a wife and mother, I have always put everyone else's schedules, needs, wants, hobbies, activities, etc. ahead of my own and I'm fine with that---except for smoking. That was my one rebellious, just for me, can't take this away from me, thing to relax. Only it wasn't relaxing anymore because of all the hard work involved in keeping it secret. And it was starting to really make me miss out on things with my family---weekend visit to daughter's house (where will I be able to smoke?), family vacation (where will I smoke?), dinner out with friends (where will I smoke?), hugs and kisses (NO, they will smell smoke?) and on and on.
Then I was watching a political YouTube video and on the also recommended list, I saw Katherine Heigl smoking an E-cig on Letterman. I watched the clip and thought, "Maybe I should check one of those out for the times I can't get away to have a smoke." So I stopped in a smoke shop and bought a cheap disposable. I figured I would try it and if it was bearable, I'd use it for emergencies when I absolutely couldn't slip outside for a quick one.
The disposable wasn't bad and I started doing research which led me here which led me to ordering a vapor king which led me to ordering a eGo-C and a bunch of flavors which led me to spending the weekend in a cabin with my family and not missing anything because I could enjoy my nic hit and not worry about deodorizing myself after each time which led me to this---
No analogs in the past 48 hours.
This wasn't the plan.
This was just supposed to be an emergency fill-in for my beloved analogs. Yet, I haven't lit up in 48 hours and I haven't suffered or chewed my nails or kicked the dog or anything. I can hug my family again! I can stop buying perfume by the gallon and buy e-juice instead. I can sit in my home office and vape away instead of locking the door, stuffing towels along the bottom to keep the smoke in, freezing because I have windows open and fans running, I can use Febreze to get rid of the dog smell instead of gallons to blunt the smokey smell, and most of all--I can still have this one rebellious thing that is just for me, but be healthier and feel healthier while enjoying it.
I know some of you are probably thinking--Well, now that you aren't smoking analogs, why don't you tell your family? Go public. Bring on the next wave of ticker tape parades! It's probably not something everyone can understand, but I share everything all the time--I have four adult daughters and my purse, my drawers, my closet, my makeup bag, my shoe rack, etc. are all dug through and shared on a regular basis. I've had four major surgeries in the past six years (unrelated to smoking) and so my health, my weight, my diet, my exercise program, and even what happens and doesn't happen in the bathroom have been discussed openly and in excruciating detail by my family with my doctors. I could share this with my family and they would probably be understanding and supportive, but for right now anyway, I choose to keep this delicious secret all to myself.
I like being a woman of mystery.
Quitting analogs and vaping full time weren't part of the plan. What a wonderful turn of events!
I wasn't planning on quitting smoking. I mean, I had thought about it and tried different methods before, even quit a few times for months at a time. But that was always planned and prepared for and each day without analogs was a struggle of epic proportions.
Once I quit for almost a year. My family was so proud of me. Seriously, they couldn't stop talking about it and asking me, "How long has it been now?" and throwing ticker-tape parades so that it made the whole process even more stressful and full of pressure. I not only had to fight through nic withdrawal and breaking the habit, I had to add the worry of letting them down. Plus, if I managed to NOT think about smoking for five minutes, they managed to remind me with their congratulations.
Don't get me wrong. I know they love me dearly and only wanted to be supportive, but their support was smothering. Which is why, when I started smoking again, I never told them or did it in front of them. I was home alone, recovering from surgery, and bored out of my mind. I have a home office in a separate building on our property and no one goes in there except me. I snuck out to the store, bought a pack, and started smoking only outside or in my office. I know it's next to impossible to hide a smoking habit, but I did it pretty well for several years with elaborate use of hair deodorizer, perfume, mouthwash, putting fresh clothes in a ziplock bag and slipping into "smoking clothes" and then changing back, etc. If I listed all my strategies, this post would be a novel, but even though my family probably had their suspicions, no one had any proof. If they did, they would definitely have staged an intervention.
I still loved smoking and didn't want to give up the one thing I truly enjoy just for myself. As a wife and mother, I have always put everyone else's schedules, needs, wants, hobbies, activities, etc. ahead of my own and I'm fine with that---except for smoking. That was my one rebellious, just for me, can't take this away from me, thing to relax. Only it wasn't relaxing anymore because of all the hard work involved in keeping it secret. And it was starting to really make me miss out on things with my family---weekend visit to daughter's house (where will I be able to smoke?), family vacation (where will I smoke?), dinner out with friends (where will I smoke?), hugs and kisses (NO, they will smell smoke?) and on and on.
Then I was watching a political YouTube video and on the also recommended list, I saw Katherine Heigl smoking an E-cig on Letterman. I watched the clip and thought, "Maybe I should check one of those out for the times I can't get away to have a smoke." So I stopped in a smoke shop and bought a cheap disposable. I figured I would try it and if it was bearable, I'd use it for emergencies when I absolutely couldn't slip outside for a quick one.
The disposable wasn't bad and I started doing research which led me here which led me to ordering a vapor king which led me to ordering a eGo-C and a bunch of flavors which led me to spending the weekend in a cabin with my family and not missing anything because I could enjoy my nic hit and not worry about deodorizing myself after each time which led me to this---
No analogs in the past 48 hours.
This wasn't the plan.
This was just supposed to be an emergency fill-in for my beloved analogs. Yet, I haven't lit up in 48 hours and I haven't suffered or chewed my nails or kicked the dog or anything. I can hug my family again! I can stop buying perfume by the gallon and buy e-juice instead. I can sit in my home office and vape away instead of locking the door, stuffing towels along the bottom to keep the smoke in, freezing because I have windows open and fans running, I can use Febreze to get rid of the dog smell instead of gallons to blunt the smokey smell, and most of all--I can still have this one rebellious thing that is just for me, but be healthier and feel healthier while enjoying it.
I know some of you are probably thinking--Well, now that you aren't smoking analogs, why don't you tell your family? Go public. Bring on the next wave of ticker tape parades! It's probably not something everyone can understand, but I share everything all the time--I have four adult daughters and my purse, my drawers, my closet, my makeup bag, my shoe rack, etc. are all dug through and shared on a regular basis. I've had four major surgeries in the past six years (unrelated to smoking) and so my health, my weight, my diet, my exercise program, and even what happens and doesn't happen in the bathroom have been discussed openly and in excruciating detail by my family with my doctors. I could share this with my family and they would probably be understanding and supportive, but for right now anyway, I choose to keep this delicious secret all to myself.
I like being a woman of mystery.
Quitting analogs and vaping full time weren't part of the plan. What a wonderful turn of events!
bnrk
