Would you like to actively push people as far from wanting to vape as possible? Here are the fail-proof steps, based upon the guy at my friend's office party, as reported by my friend and wife who was also present.
Step 1: Just look plain shady. Not an absolute requirement, but it augments your power to send people running from anything vaping-related.
Step 2: Attend your girlfriend's festive office party.
Step 3: Do NOT, under any circumstances, engage in a friendly conversation with anyone at the party. In fact, don't even say "Hello" to anyone. This adds to your mystique and power to repulse anyone thinking of getting into vaping.
Step 4: Further isolate yourself by standing in the darkest corner of the room. IMPORTANT: Do not move from this spot whatsoever, for the entire night.
Step 5: This is the key step. Get your girlfriend to identify a coworker who smokes. Have her go to this person, interrupt whatever party activity s/he is currently engaged in (talking with friends, taking photos at the photo booth, dancing etc), and awkwardly beckon/chaperone them back to your dark corner where you await.
Step 6: Dispense with any pleasantries like introducing yourself and dive head-first into a hard sell on why this person should switch to vaping, noting that you can do them the huge favor of selling them the supplies. Right now.
Step 7: Mutter under your breath some vague statements about "your loss" as your target backs away, mustering as much civil nicety as s/he can to mask the look of confused, creeped-out horror on his/her face.
Step 8: Repeat steps 5-7 as many times as possible.
Congratulations! You have now ensured that an entire party-full of people will never turn to vaping as any mention of the activity brings to mind thoughts of creepy, awkward unpleasantness. Also, you are now an office party legend.
Step 1: Just look plain shady. Not an absolute requirement, but it augments your power to send people running from anything vaping-related.
Step 2: Attend your girlfriend's festive office party.
Step 3: Do NOT, under any circumstances, engage in a friendly conversation with anyone at the party. In fact, don't even say "Hello" to anyone. This adds to your mystique and power to repulse anyone thinking of getting into vaping.
Step 4: Further isolate yourself by standing in the darkest corner of the room. IMPORTANT: Do not move from this spot whatsoever, for the entire night.
Step 5: This is the key step. Get your girlfriend to identify a coworker who smokes. Have her go to this person, interrupt whatever party activity s/he is currently engaged in (talking with friends, taking photos at the photo booth, dancing etc), and awkwardly beckon/chaperone them back to your dark corner where you await.
Step 6: Dispense with any pleasantries like introducing yourself and dive head-first into a hard sell on why this person should switch to vaping, noting that you can do them the huge favor of selling them the supplies. Right now.
Step 7: Mutter under your breath some vague statements about "your loss" as your target backs away, mustering as much civil nicety as s/he can to mask the look of confused, creeped-out horror on his/her face.
Step 8: Repeat steps 5-7 as many times as possible.
Congratulations! You have now ensured that an entire party-full of people will never turn to vaping as any mention of the activity brings to mind thoughts of creepy, awkward unpleasantness. Also, you are now an office party legend.
